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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I think some of it is a lack of social discretion.

    If you want to look up online information on someone, fine.
    I do that sometimes, out of curiosity.
    But usually only stalkers actually go TELL the person everything they found out.
    Such information might give you some ideas on what to talk to them about, but usually you should "reacquire the information legitimately" -- i.e., by talking to them directly and having THEM tell you -- before you start bringing up details in conversation.

    So... what sort of reaction do you expect?
    It sounds almost like you're trying to instigate a reaction from them...?
    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Hmm, I don't really get that vibe from you. Although if it's a consistent problem... maybe throw a little cold water on that furious inferno of Ne-fueled curiosity? I've often found Ne doms can be victims of intellectual hedonism.
    Yeah. It makes me no sense to me if I don't tell them. That's unfair to me.
    It's not really a consistent problem. Maybe it's histrionic behaviour. I feel the need to listen to every opinion and when someone ignores me I feel really expelled. It just happens when people are overly secretive and I am too interested to not search Google. A huge problem is the people who are afraid of me are often similar to me (actually, I'm very secretive too) but they don't know how to deal with it. I tend to write them what I think then but if they don't answer I feel like killing myself which is dependent behaviour. I read too much into personality disorders.

  2. #12
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silently Honest View Post
    She's a minor herself last I checked.
    Oh? Then I guess I'm not talking to her from now on.

    Darn, it's getting so hard to tell these days, with all the smart teenagers and stupid adults online.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I know what you mean. I'm very good at finding information on people, and I've gotten to the point that I make sure not to tell people what I've found on them. Maybe even going as far as trying to lead them into sharing it with me via a seemingly unrelated topic so I can discuss it if it's important enough to me.

    You probably shouldn't be talking to minors anyway. It's kind of suspicious and creepy to talk to minors at all, honestly. I try my best to avoid them.
    hahaha
    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    What is just extra friendly IRL suddenly becomes extremely creepy when you decide to do it online.

    Tone it down, I'd say. At least until you get to know people well enough for them not to be freaked out by it.
    But I tend to avoid meeting people without knowing enough about them.

  4. #14
    Senior Member laughingebony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I think some of it is a lack of social discretion.

    If you want to look up online information on someone, fine.
    I do that sometimes, out of curiosity.
    But usually only stalkers actually go TELL the person everything they found out.
    Such information might give you some ideas on what to talk to them about, but usually you should "reacquire the information legitimately" -- i.e., by talking to them directly and having THEM tell you -- before you start bringing up details in conversation.
    I think there is a lot of truth in this. I would probably be wierded out momentarily if somebody I didn't know started telling me about my hobbies, music interests, etc. What I don't understand, however, is why these people would place that information on their profiles if they didn't want people to see it.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by laughingebony View Post
    I think there is a lot of truth in this. I would probably be wierded out momentarily if somebody I didn't know started telling me about my hobbies, music interests, etc. What I don't understand, however, is why these people would place that information on their profiles if they didn't want people to see it.
    They don't expect people would be smart enough to add up all those information from different websites.

  6. #16
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    dude...maybe you should just let people tell you what they want about themselves in their own time.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    dude...maybe you should just let people tell you what they want about themselves in their own time.
    that can be very frustating. Sometimes people take hours to answer one simple question. They tell how the weather is in the meantime. Not that I dislike it but I feel made fun of after some time.

  8. #18
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i don't understand that. could you expand?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i don't understand that. could you expand?
    Yeah I feel they don't trust me and think I am a bad person. Too emotional etc.

  10. #20
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by laughingebony View Post
    I think there is a lot of truth in this. I would probably be wierded out momentarily if somebody I didn't know started telling me about my hobbies, music interests, etc. What I don't understand, however, is why these people would place that information on their profiles if they didn't want people to see it.
    That's the other side of the coin, definitely.

    I think people just assume other people will respect their boundaries the same way they would respect theirs, then get surprised when someone has a different approach.

    Honestly, yes, if you put it out there yourself, you should assume everyone can see it, find out about it, and you'd better be accepting about them knowing and using the information.

    Quote Originally Posted by hommefatal View Post
    But I tend to avoid meeting people without knowing enough about them.
    Well, like I said... do your research, but be prudent about what you actually bring up in conversation. Let them tell you much of the stuff again themselves, it will alleviate some of the hostility.

    Histrionics and other psychological disorders are pretty severe -- basically you'll get diagnosed if you can't function in society, but otherwise you're only exhibiting some of the features without really "having" the condition. It sounds like you are able to observe and comment on your own behavior (that's a big plus); hence, you can make changes that seem prudent to you.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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