[INFP] INFP+ENFP

[Elfboy]

as an ENFP, I think I would do best with an INFP or ENFP. I tend to be extremely attracted to ESFPs (they also make really great friends because they're extremely warm and enthusiastic and are always in the mood to play) but (as much as I love my ESFP friends to death) for a wife I feel like I would need a more intellectual partner as well (NFPs have a good balance of being extremely affectionate, silly and fun loving combined with a strong intellectual side). an ISFP with a strong Ni might work, but they like never talk.

 

[CzeCze]

Did I already go off somewhere about the needy/intimacy dynamic? Pretty sure I did somewhere...

Anywhoo, I realize that I've had more intimate connections with INFPs including dating my bff in college with an INFP. The reason 2 of those connections ended (I cut them off) with my friend and my romantic interest was the self-absorption and neediness on their part.

INFP/ENFP can get along really well and spend time together easily.

I love intimacy, I like being needed because ENFPs can be pretty intense and I feel like we have a lot to give of ourselves emotionally and whatnot (in fact, we need that to reach our highest levels of functioning and to be happy).

However two of the INFPs I knew essentially were using me and not giving anything back substantial. I felt they took me for granted and were disrespectful and just too selfish.

One has issues she's sorting out, the other was still growing up, but both were very immature in similar ways - overly sensitive, overly needy, wanted to be catered to, unappreciative. They were growing dependent on me in some ways but not giving back what I needed or wanted. It took a while in both cases but I realized that was not what I wanted or needed in my life so I got them out from the picture of my life.

Age has something to do with it but not really IMO - the 20 year old INFP I knew in college was much more communicative with me and honest than than 29 year old INFP that I dated.

I've joked about swearing off INFPs for dating, but I keep meeting wimminz that I like too much and then it turns out they are INFP.

NFPs in general can seem too erratic for people's tastes. Can seem to flip from loving and warm one minute to really selfish or standoffish the next.

If I have to second guess if you're into me or how much you're into me, it's not gonna work.

 

[pinkgraffiti]

just a lot of emotional stability. enthusiasm, socialness etc are great, but at the end of the day the important thing are....core values? feeling well? INFP gives that (to me at least). actually, before reading your post i was thinking: what do i give to my INFP? he gives me so much....etc etc

Briefly, what do ENFP's get out of this, or what do INFP's bring to the table? A part of me feels like ENFp's bring things to the table [enthusiam, energy, perkiness, socialness], and we just accept what's at the table more so than bringing other things to the table too. I could be totally wrong there. Are we good for providing "grounding" both in general and when ENFP's go WAY overboard?

 

[Lady_X]

Sorry bf if you read this

But I can kinda see what cze cze is saying with the emotional neediness and he knows it wears me out. It makes me feel like a t actually.

But mostly it's great and a whole lot better than someone being emotionally ignorant and not being there for me in way I need...so I'll take it.