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Thread: INFP+ENFP

  1. #11
    Senior Member seeker22's Avatar
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    I think this could be a very satisfying match... VERY satisfying... Comfortable... "Feels like home" kind of match...

  2. #12
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Communicating with my INFP boyfriend is incredibly easy. Our value systems sync up, we think about things in similar terms but a number of problems have arisen over the course of the year or so we have been together.

    1) He is incredibly emotional about everything and doesn't take criticism well at all even if it's something like "Wash both sides of the plate because there are still beans on the bottom." This somehow sends him into near weepy hysterics. I don't understand it.

    2) He is even worse than I am at completing tasks. You can ask him to do something a million times, in writing with explicit step by step instructions and he won't have done it by the time you get back. In fact every time I have gone out of town I have returned to him pretty much in a pile of filth starving to death and the list of survival instructions I wrote out before I left is in the litterbox.

    3) We have the same value system, he just has more actual values than I do. Part of him is always offended by everything. Literally EVERYTHING. I sometimes feel like he secretly thinks I'm a bad person because I'm just not as nice as he is.

    4) He is SO introverted that I feel somewhat like my social life has disappeared since I started dating him. He needs a lot of emotional support all the time and while I know he tries to respect my space, he does seem to need me a lot and that can be stressful.


    Obviously this cannot be the case with every single ENFP-INFP couple there is out there, but I have noticed that INFPs tend to prefer to have someone "take charge" in the relationship. If you're a flaky ENFP it might be too much responsibility in the long run but it is definitely not without its rewards.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Nillerz's Avatar
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    Hey! Relevent!

    I broke up with an INFP because they told me to go buy a hooker.

  4. #14
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    Communicating with my INFP boyfriend is incredibly easy. Our value systems sync up, we think about things in similar terms but a number of problems have arisen over the course of the year or so we have been together.

    1) He is incredibly emotional about everything and doesn't take criticism well at all even if it's something like "Wash both sides of the plate because there are still beans on the bottom." This somehow sends him into near weepy hysterics. I don't understand it.

    2) He is even worse than I am at completing tasks. You can ask him to do something a million times, in writing with explicit step by step instructions and he won't have done it by the time you get back. In fact every time I have gone out of town I have returned to him pretty much in a pile of filth starving to death and the list of survival instructions I wrote out before I left is in the litterbox.

    3) We have the same value system, he just has more actual values than I do. Part of him is always offended by everything. Literally EVERYTHING. I sometimes feel like he secretly thinks I'm a bad person because I'm just not as nice as he is.

    4) He is SO introverted that I feel somewhat like my social life has disappeared since I started dating him. He needs a lot of emotional support all the time and while I know he tries to respect my space, he does seem to need me a lot and that can be stressful.


    Obviously this cannot be the case with every single ENFP-INFP couple there is out there, but I have noticed that INFPs tend to prefer to have someone "take charge" in the relationship. If you're a flaky ENFP it might be too much responsibility in the long run but it is definitely not without its rewards.
    Wow, just wow! Did you fish him out of mommy's basement? Wow...
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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #15
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    I've been pretty surprised to hear how lazy individual INFPs and/or ENFP's can be! Really, are we that bad? Well, apparently some of us are...

  6. #16
    Senior Member Tiny Army's Avatar
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    Yes, we are. Every type has its good side and its bad side. You can't take all the NFP praise without taking some of the slack, too. There is no "some of us" involved here. Every single person here has given into their dark side at some point or another and been responsible for some NFP bullshit. I'm sure everyone can remember some point in time when they were the worst person they could be.

  7. #17
    morose bourgeoisie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    Communicating with my INFP boyfriend is incredibly easy. Our value systems sync up, we think about things in similar terms but a number of problems have arisen over the course of the year or so we have been together.

    1) He is incredibly emotional about everything and doesn't take criticism well at all even if it's something like "Wash both sides of the plate because there are still beans on the bottom." This somehow sends him into near weepy hysterics. I don't understand it.

    2) He is even worse than I am at completing tasks. You can ask him to do something a million times, in writing with explicit step by step instructions and he won't have done it by the time you get back. In fact every time I have gone out of town I have returned to him pretty much in a pile of filth starving to death and the list of survival instructions I wrote out before I left is in the litterbox.

    3) We have the same value system, he just has more actual values than I do. Part of him is always offended by everything. Literally EVERYTHING. I sometimes feel like he secretly thinks I'm a bad person because I'm just not as nice as he is.

    4) He is SO introverted that I feel somewhat like my social life has disappeared since I started dating him. He needs a lot of emotional support all the time and while I know he tries to respect my space, he does seem to need me a lot and that can be stressful.


    Obviously this cannot be the case with every single ENFP-INFP couple there is out there, but I have noticed that INFPs tend to prefer to have someone "take charge" in the relationship. If you're a flaky ENFP it might be too much responsibility in the long run but it is definitely not without its rewards.

    Your BF sounds very fragile and anxious. Maybe he needs meds or some exercise? Low serotonin can cause this kind of emotional labililty. I know I get very moody and weird if I don't get sweaty everyday.

  8. #18
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    ... I'm sure everyone can remember some point in time when they were the worst person they could be.
    I still alternate between best and worst, but not as bad as I used to. Forced need to develop my top for functions at once growing up resulted in an entertaining pre-teen experience. Not happy about the path I had to take to survive, but the mentality of vengence helped stem the suicidal thoughts I had at the time.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #19
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Briefly, what do ENFP's get out of this, or what do INFP's bring to the table? A part of me feels like ENFp's bring things to the table [enthusiam, energy, perkiness, socialness], and we just accept what's at the table more so than bringing other things to the table too. I could be totally wrong there. Are we good for providing "grounding" both in general and when ENFP's go WAY overboard?

  10. #20
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Army View Post
    Every single person here has given into their dark side at some point or another and been responsible for some NFP bullshit.
    I call it part of a growing up process and that's regardless of age.

    I'm sure everyone can remember some point in time when they were the worst person they could be.
    Actually, no, I'm pretty sure I have never been the worst person I could be. I don't even want to think what that person would look like.

    At my personal worst, I was bad, but I was not a hurtful person. I was just really flaky and insecure and so out of my mind spastic and mentally/emotionally hyperactive, anxious, and sensitive I really wonder how I was functional and developed any relationships at all or got anything done.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

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