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[ENFP] enfp's fact or fiction

_Ti_

New member
Joined
Oct 14, 2007
Messages
16
MBTI Type
ENFP
<...reassurance...>I watch for it, and I love it, and usually get paranoid when I have to go without it more than usual...but I don't want people to know that I need it. That's just one of the many things I like to keep inside of me. I don't like seeming needy in any way. I'm usually alright with people knowing my weak points, though. I dunno. I think it's because I don't want people to think I'll slow them down or drain them out, or ever feel guilty or obliged to have to do something for me so that I can keep up.

One of the main messages I want to send to the world is to go on the way it wants to; that I can just bend and re-mold myself and catch up on my own...partially to prove myself worthy and partially to show that I understand and accomodate, and I want to. It's like tagging along with your older cousin. And if they like the me the way I am, I'll show more and more of me, because they'll realize that all the bending and molding I do isn't exactly the way I truly am even though I enjoy doing it, and that I can't always change myself or catch up without help, and I don't always understand. And so maybe, just maybe, they'll help me in a way that doesn't make me have to bend and swallow and rewire myself in order to survive; a way during which I can relax and just get what I need emotionally without a hot fuss (all the questions and doubting and criticism just wears little old sensitive me out)..

Man, I love it here! No one else understands this!!!!! I can't help but need reassurance but I don't want people to know I need it... I want them to see it in me without looking down on me for it... or something... You said it so perfectly. That is exactly how it is.
Thank you.
 

arcticangel02

To the top of the world
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
892
MBTI Type
eNFP
Mistyping?

I'm curious to know about how you enfp's typed yourself, when you first encountered this sort of personality testing. Did you get it right the first time, or did it take you a while to work out who you were?

This probably has a lot to do with the age you are when you first try, though. How well you know yourself, and the like.

But for me: for the longest time I was sure I was an introvert, because I'm a naturally quiet person. When I interact with people, even strangers, I'm easily an extrovert, but I'm not usually comfortable with being the center of attention in a crowd. (Of course, that also has a bit to do with the fact I was much younger, and being unsure of yourself and who you are.)

Also, I think I kept categorizing myself as a thinker, because I was naturally a fairly bright student in school and understood things easily.. therefore my brain had to work logically and analytically, didn't it? In fact, I'm actually very much a feeler.

(Maybe this should go somewhere else? But I'm interested in seeing if there's any similarities in the way enfps tend to type (or mistype) themselves.)
 

niffer

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,217
MBTI Type
ENfP
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
wowzer. So I totally put myself out there and this crazy infj chick is stomping my heart into a million little pieces why she battles demons in her brain. I am feeling my pain and her pain and it is destroying me. I need a tranquilizer shot or to be put into a coma or something until she figures out what the hell she is doing. It's bad enough feeling my own pain but to feel hers on top of it without understanding why she is doing this, it's more pain than I can bare.
I need a therapist...or her to call me....

Yeah, them INFJ's are totally nuts. What you need in this case is patience. I don't know if talking to her will help. o.o Peace should follow after a while of waiting though. Don't worry too much. :(
 

findthejake

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
258
MBTI Type
ENFP
yeah no worries, It's all gravy now. She's a total nutjob but I think I love her. She needs me to pull her out and give her courage and I need her to keep me grounded.

_Ti_ - That post on page 18 was amazingly right on. I have always wanted the one who hurt me to love me back to them. I'm also a total baby when I'm sick.
 

Gen

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
319
MBTI Type
INTP
One of the main messages I want to send to the world is to go on the way it wants to; that I can just bend and re-mold myself and catch up on my own...partially to prove myself worthy and partially to show that I understand and accomodate, and I want to. It's like tagging along with your older cousin. And if they like the me the way I am, I'll show more and more of me, because they'll realize that all the bending and molding I do isn't exactly the way I truly am even though I enjoy doing it, and that I can't always change myself or catch up without help, and I don't always understand. And so maybe, just maybe, they'll help me in a way that doesn't make me have to bend and swallow and rewire myself in order to survive; a way during which I can relax and just get what I need emotionally without a hot fuss (all the questions and doubting and criticism just wears little old sensitive me out)...without it is like getting fed grapes in bed. And maybe, they'll actually enjoy it.

:cry: :hug:
 

targobelle

~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,584
MBTI Type
enfp
yeah no worries, It's all gravy now. She's a total nutjob but I think I love her. She needs me to pull her out and give her courage and I need her to keep me grounded.

_Ti_ - That post on page 18 was amazingly right on. I have always wanted the one who hurt me to love me back to them. I'm also a total baby when I'm sick.


you do realize only enfp's can love total nut jobs? lol ..... I mean after all it takes one to know one :harhar:




do you ever feel like you're trapped in an never ending Fi loop? Where you're spinning round and round and you want to just off and grab hold of that Ne but it just never seems to materialize? Any idea how to make the leap when the Fi gets to be overwhelming? I mean what do you do?
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
you do realize only enfp's can love total nut jobs? lol ..... I mean after all it takes one to know one :harhar:


SO TRUE! I have an ISTP...or is that ISTJ friend and she is SO CRUEL! She tells me to basically not associate with certain people because they are 'damaged beyond repair' and even referred me to her therapist when I was telling her about a new person I got involved with.

HAHAHAHAAHAH.


WTH.

I love people and I enjoy crazy and sometimes it's just for giggles and sometimes it's for a real connection, as fleeting as it may be, but I think I personally get a lot from these interactions and I like to think the other person is as well, or else they would not be associating with me.

I think being an ENFP may also mean that we accept people as they are -- even if we don't like them or even despise them or don't even understand them, we don't necessarily judge them as something BAD or WRONG with them and that they need to be 'fixed'. Even with people who I think are asshoesl, they're just assholes. Or just crazy. It is what it is and they are who they are. And as for people who I personally dislike or can't be around, I just move on and I don't try to change them.

Does that resonate with anyone?

I have also noticed though, a bad side effect of this (especially if you are female) is that sometimes guys misinterpret this open-minded attitude for interest? And sometimes people with actual mental health issues can kind of project onto me or else attach themselves and get way too familiar with me too quickly, even though I do NOT reciprocate this kind of feeling of closeness. I merely accept them at face (and deeper true) value and am probably the first person in a long time to show them any true kindness.

When I was a kid, all the moms with the 'problem kids' would make play dates with me because I was the ONLY KID in the whole neighborhood who could put up with their children. When I think of this now, it pisses me off a bit, but I do see the parallels to my adult life.

Anyone else experience this?
 

findthejake

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
258
MBTI Type
ENFP
yes. It's in the list of "curses" instead of "blessings" for me. I get so tired of being everybody's best friend, the one they can share anything with when very few of them will listen to what I need to share. It gets tiresome.
 

targobelle

~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,584
MBTI Type
enfp
yes. It's in the list of "curses" instead of "blessings" for me. I get so tired of being everybody's best friend, the one they can share anything with when very few of them will listen to what I need to share. It gets tiresome.

yes I resonate with this

it's hard when everyone wants to tell me all about them and wants my help to fix them but as soon as I need them or start talking I get.... it's not always about you tara what about me. *sigh* it hurts :cry:
 

niffer

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,217
MBTI Type
ENfP
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I think being an ENFP may also mean that we accept people as they are -- even if we don't like them or even despise them or don't even understand them, we don't necessarily judge them as something BAD or WRONG with them and that they need to be 'fixed'. Even with people who I think are asshoesl, they're just assholes. Or just crazy. It is what it is and they are who they are. And as for people who I personally dislike or can't be around, I just move on and I don't try to change them.

ROFL, yes. Whenever someone asks my opinion of someone they don't like for whatever reason:

"He's an asshole, but he's alright."
or-
"He's such a pussy. Sometimes I just wanna slap him and tell him to be a man. But he's a nice guy and he means well."

or-
me: "Nicky's pretty cool."
them: "Nicky's a bitch."
me: "But she's a cool bitch."
them: *shrugs*
 

arcticangel02

To the top of the world
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
892
MBTI Type
eNFP
it's hard when everyone wants to tell me all about them and wants my help to fix them but as soon as I need them or start talking I get.... it's not always about you tara what about me.

Oh, yeah. This happens to me every now and again, and it's so frustrating. C'mon, honestly? I've been a nice ear for you to offload all your problems onto, and mostly I don't mind it. But it would be nice to get a little response when I try and mention some of my own problems... instead of a blank stare or lukewarm agreement, and then right back to their own problems. Sigh.
 

findthejake

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
258
MBTI Type
ENFP
I'm going to start a thread to see if we have any enfp haters on the boards... Should be interesting!
 

Vortex

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
277
MBTI Type
WOLF
I'm curious to know about how you enfp's typed yourself, when you first encountered this sort of personality testing. Did you get it right the first time, or did it take you a while to work out who you were?

This probably has a lot to do with the age you are when you first try, though. How well you know yourself, and the like.

But for me: for the longest time I was sure I was an introvert, because I'm a naturally quiet person. When I interact with people, even strangers, I'm easily an extrovert, but I'm not usually comfortable with being the center of attention in a crowd. (Of course, that also has a bit to do with the fact I was much younger, and being unsure of yourself and who you are.)

Also, I think I kept categorizing myself as a thinker, because I was naturally a fairly bright student in school and understood things easily.. therefore my brain had to work logically and analytically, didn't it? In fact, I'm actually very much a feeler.

(Maybe this should go somewhere else? But I'm interested in seeing if there's any similarities in the way enfps tend to type (or mistype) themselves.)


I can relate to a lot of that. When Economica and I first tried to figure out my type, I think we arrived at ENTJ, but it didn't take long after that to discover that I was probably an ENFP. Now I'm quite certain :)


<snip>
I think being an ENFP may also mean that we accept people as they are -- even if we don't like them or even despise them or don't even understand them, we don't necessarily judge them as something BAD or WRONG with them and that they need to be 'fixed'. Even with people who I think are asshoesl, they're just assholes. Or just crazy. It is what it is and they are who they are. And as for people who I personally dislike or can't be around, I just move on and I don't try to change them.

Does that resonate with anyone?

Absolutely. That's a great description.

I have also noticed though, a bad side effect of this (especially if you are female) is that sometimes guys misinterpret this open-minded attitude for interest? And sometimes people with actual mental health issues can kind of project onto me or else attach themselves and get way too familiar with me too quickly, even though I do NOT reciprocate this kind of feeling of closeness. I merely accept them at face (and deeper true) value and am probably the first person in a long time to show them any true kindness.

When I was a kid, all the moms with the 'problem kids' would make play dates with me because I was the ONLY KID in the whole neighborhood who could put up with their children. When I think of this now, it pisses me off a bit, but I do see the parallels to my adult life.

Anyone else experience this?

Guys often think I'm interested in them in a certain way, when in fact I'm doing nothing more than being friendly and relaxed. Friends tell me it's something in my eyes - not hating people at first sight apparently equals interest...
I like talking to people, I like helping them. If they tell me too much too fast it doesn't matter. It will seem to them that they get the same deep closeness from me as they offer. And they do get it - in a modified version of me, since there in those situations always will be a number of things I won't trust them with, but there is a public, kind and caring version that will help them and make them feel better.
I don't remember my childhood very well, apart from the fact that it was great, filled with joy, laughter and happiness. I didn't particularly like other children, but I'd be nice and have some good playmates, but ultimately they didn't matter much. I've had a number of close playmates ripped from my life quite suddenly as a child (moving, embassy kids, weird parental stuff) and it didn't seem to have any impact at all - I just accepted that things changed. I did play with some problem kids too, though, and that usually went well. I don't think I cared enough to be able to create problems or tension.
 

Economica

Dhampyr
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,054
MBTI Type
INTJ
I can relate to a lot of that. When Economica and I first tried to figure out my type, I think we arrived at ENTJ, but it didn't take long after that to discover that I was probably an ENFP. Now I'm quite certain :)

I actually thought you were an ENFP but since I'd only just met you I didn't want to alienate you by insisting. ;)

Incidentally, my descriptions of the T/F and J/P dimensions probably weren't very neutral back then. :doh:
 

Vortex

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
277
MBTI Type
WOLF
Haha, okay. My memory is lousy, so I trust whatever you say about that time.
 

findthejake

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
258
MBTI Type
ENFP
See I am not a party animal at all. My craziness will come out in smaller groups but not in larger ones. I mean don't get me wrong, at one time I was the life of stuff. My family worked at a youth camp and I was heavily involved in church youth group. At the youth camp I was the guy who would get everybody fired up during games and mixers, get crazy and everyone knew my name. It was the same at youth group (300-500 kids) I was always on stage and was like a celebrity in that church.

Now though, now I would much rather grab some coffee and chill. I hate the bar scene for the most part and most parties I go to seem to deteriorate quickly into a bunch of drunks wasting away another night on booze.

I can drink with the best of them but I don't live for it. I can do without it and in fact would most often prefer too as I kind of feel slightly intoxicated all the time anyway!
 

targobelle

~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,584
MBTI Type
enfp
funny you should say this Jake.... I was chatting to someone who was telling mewhat a trip acid was because of how good it felt. He used examples like seeing the music, and tasting a sound and how everything became alive. I explained to him that, that was my reality..... really he said.... seriously I said. He scored intp for what it's worth.
 

findthejake

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
258
MBTI Type
ENFP
the more we delve into what it is to be enfp, the more i think we are just over-chemicaled in our brains or something. Too much of everything shooting up into there and overloading the sensors...
 

Vortex

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2007
Messages
277
MBTI Type
WOLF
findthejake;

Haha - that might very well be true. For instance, I'm capable of totally experiencing, enjoying and wrapping myself in a walk in a park. A few hours later I will be absolutely oblivious to my surroundings and see nothing around me. Every imaginative scenario is taken to the extreme, every emotion experienced to its utmost boundaries. That's the joy of it. Totally pure and unadulterated overload :)
 
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