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  1. #321
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by allie bug View Post
    I myself have problems accepting compliments or any sort of praise,
    Me too. Absolutely.

    Even gratitude. Do any other ENFPs have problems accepting "Thanks" ? Even if you know its deserved?
    Yes!
    We ENFP's are complicated.

    Good Points you had there Allie!

  2. #322
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by allie bug View Post
    I do this too....it's hard to be an anonymous giver in most situations. Especially in ones where it could be construed as means to get something out of the situation.
    This is exactly it. My deepest fear, when I'm doing something for someone else, is that the meaning of my gift might be misinterpreted as device to get attention, which really crawls up my back. In my mind, there's no point in giving someone a gift if you've attached half a million emotional strings to it - that isn't honest.


    I myself have problems accepting compliments or any sort of praise, and immediately try to rationalize it to the person who is giving it.
    like "Well I owed you lunch bc you gave me jolly rancher in 3rd grade"
    Hilarious! And very true.

    Even gratitude. Do any other ENFPs have problems accepting "Thanks" ? Even if you know its deserved?
    This is also very difficult for me. Again, it's about our drive to make people feel actualized, or to make their lives easier to live. There is a friend of mine who has ALS and is wheelchair bound - she's a big time hockey fan, and our NHL team holds an event that allows you to skate with some of the players. Well, her kids were able to get out there and skate around, but she had to sit and watch it all from the glass. I thought, " THIS BLOWS! We have to do something about this." So my father ( who is an occupational therapist ) and I worked with a team from the university, and we came up with a chair that the disabled can be placed into and pushed around on the ice with. ( like a modified Victorian skating chair, only with torso supports for those who can't sit upright on their own ). We were still in the prototype stage when I got an email from her mother, who was so happy and gratified that we hadn't allowed her daughter to be left out and forgotten, like remembering that she existed was this special thing. And all I could think was, " How can I forget her?! If I were her, I would want someone to care about my life. I would want to be treated like I mattered too." But it made me SO UNCOMFORTABLE having to accept this woman's thanks, even though she was just being appropriate. I just wanted her to know that I did it because her daughter's life had value, not because I wanted some sort of attention at her daughter's expense.

    :P That was uncomfortable to even share now. lol

  3. #323
    To the top of the world arcticangel02's Avatar
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    Oh, I know!

    It just makes me uncomfortable when people shower me with thanks for... what? Something I'd do naturally because it doesn't put me out much at all and helps you immensely - why wouldn't I?
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  4. #324
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by arcticangel02 View Post
    Oh, I know!

    It just makes me uncomfortable when people shower me with thanks for... what? Something I'd do naturally because it doesn't put me out much at all and helps you immensely - why wouldn't I?
    Well, they probably do so for one of two reasons:

    1. They feel unappreciative (perhaps due to upbringing) if they don't thank a benefactor, no matter how small the favor.
    2. They feel as if they didn't deserve what you did for them.

    Possibly both, actually.

  5. #325
    To the top of the world arcticangel02's Avatar
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    Well, now that you mention that and I think on it, I'm completely the opposite in the reverse: when someone does something nice for me - even if they know I'm thankful (i.e. they're a friend and understand and I really don't need to say it), I feel compelled to thank them.

    Strange, huh? I guess I don't shower it, though. Just as long as I make my appreciation known.

    And, likewise, if I've made a blunder of some sort, (I've unwittingly been a bit rude, or something) I feel intensely embarrassed unless I specifically apologise to them. Most of the time the reaction I get is a bit like 'Huh? No, it's no problem. It's fine.'

    Situations where I haven't had the chance to apologise stick out in my mind months later with embarrassment. But the other person has probably long forgotten.
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  6. #326
    Large Member Ender's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by arcticangel02 View Post
    It just makes me uncomfortable when people shower me with thanks for... what? Something I'd do naturally because it doesn't put me out much at all and helps you immensely - why wouldn't I?
    Is that usually an ENFP trait?.. Cause I always seem to devalue what I do for others when they try and thank me for it. While I secretly like it, it makes me feel awkward when receiving it.
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  7. #327
    ~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~ targobelle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alcearos View Post
    I'm not that sure about it. I just act; I don't think how I have an impact on people. I never thought of it. I get confused when I do notice I have impact on them and then I get embarrassed. It's really weird because I really LOVE people!



    yes


    that makes sense!
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  8. #328
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    Hi, all. I just wanted to stop in and say "hello". I'm a long-time ENFP - sounds funny saying that but this thread was quite an interesting read. I'm mature but not always mature, if you know what I mean so I'm still working on managing the less positive aspects of my personality.

  9. #329
    Senior Member Noel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ender View Post
    Is that usually an ENFP trait?.. Cause I always seem to devalue what I do for others when they try and thank me for it. While I secretly like it, it makes me feel awkward when receiving it.
    Agreed.
    I may be bested in battle, but I shall never be defeated.

  10. #330
    To the top of the world arcticangel02's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CestMoi View Post
    Hi, all. I just wanted to stop in and say "hello". I'm a long-time ENFP - sounds funny saying that but this thread was quite an interesting read. I'm mature but not always mature, if you know what I mean so I'm still working on managing the less positive aspects of my personality.
    Hi CestMoi!

    Glad to have you with us!
    ANFP:
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