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  1. #311
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    I do it as well. I used to think I was behaving bizarrely, but I realise now that I just do it initially as a way to gauge what's happening. Like I need to reassess the dynamic between myself and the other person. It's not total withdrawal, but more like stepping back a minute. I tend to do it when I've had a revelation about my relationship, usually in the form of an "A HA!" moment, and then I feel like I need to regroup. It's frustrating because people frequently misinterpret this as me being upset with them, or repelled somehow, despite my attempts to explain.
    I wrote about this withdrawing in my blog and very many ENFP's told me that they feel the same. We started to wonder why that is?

    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    That sounds very much like Fi. People with Fi tend to have greater emotional depth beneath the surface than above it. They can be frustrating and confusing to people with Fe, though.

    The saying I've heard used to describe them is, "Still waters run deep." It seems true enough.
    Yes, you described it very well!

    It's funny because my mother, my dad, my sister and I all have Fi higher than Fe. So there was not too much emotion showing in my family but lots of deep caring (if I could put it that way).

    My Fi must be very difficult to understand by my ISTP husband because his weakest function is Fi.

    What makes me confused is that I'm very (almost too) empathic person and that is usually related to Fe (or is it). :confused: I always have Fe quite high in the function test, but my Fe doesn't show to other people the way Fe usually shows. :confused: I don't like to touch other people at all (except my family members, my children particularly sometimes live in my laps )

    I do A LOT of comforting and consolation if I feel somebody is down and I do comforting to totally strangers sometimes. On those deep empathy times I do touch (e.g. put my hand on other persons shoulder) and I call it my empathy touch. (But I hate if those people try to cling on to me (mentally pr physically) after the comforting).

    I react to other people's feelings too much. I get carried away with those feelings. Is that Fi or Fe playing its part there? :confused:

  2. #312
    Member allie bug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alcearos View Post

    I'm also very sentimental at times. Almost too much. Great emotions are lurking inside even if I try to hide them. And I have habit of caring too much. I try to hide that side too. :rolli:

    One more thing. I also have the weirdest habit of withdrawing when I notice somebody likes me. :confused:

    What do you other ENFP's say about this?

    (I really have lots of spelling mistakes in my posts even if I use spelling check. That might be also very ENFP'ish?)

    By "likes", do you mean you withdraw when you notice someone is attracted to you?

    -either way, I think it may be that reluctance to keep people at some sort of a distance until you feel comfortable enough to show that you really care if they like you or not....that second skin thing i think. It's like you can give everybody this image of being totally there, but you know that you are withdrawing to figure it out.


    Opinions??? I'm trying to figure this out as well

  3. #313
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by allie bug View Post
    By "likes", do you mean you withdraw when you notice someone is attracted to you?
    No I don't mean attraction. I just get confused just by the feeling somebody liking me and me noticing it.

  4. #314
    Member allie bug's Avatar
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    i totally agree......maybe bc then you worry about doing something to mess that up?

  5. #315
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by allie bug View Post
    i totally agree......maybe bc then you worry about doing something to mess that up?
    It might be that.

  6. #316
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alcearos View Post
    No I don't mean attraction. I just get confused just by the feeling somebody liking me and me noticing it.
    Wow, ENFPs must be confused a lot. I'm pretty sure everyone likes them.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  7. #317
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    Wow, ENFPs must be confused a lot. I'm pretty sure everyone likes them.
    I'm not that sure about it. I just act; I don't think how I have an impact on people. I never thought of it. I get confused when I do notice I have impact on them and then I get embarrassed. It's really weird because I really LOVE people!

  8. #318
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alcearos View Post

    What makes me confused is that I'm very (almost too) empathic person and that is usually related to Fe (or is it). :confused: I always have Fe quite high in the function test, but my Fe doesn't show to other people the way Fe usually shows. :confused: I don't like to touch other people at all (except my family members, my children particularly sometimes live in my laps )

    I do A LOT of comforting and consolation if I feel somebody is down and I do comforting to totally strangers sometimes. On those deep empathy times I do touch (e.g. put my hand on other persons shoulder) and I call it my empathy touch. (But I hate if those people try to cling on to me (mentally pr physically) after the comforting).

    I react to other people's feelings too much. I get carried away with those feelings. Is that Fi or Fe playing its part there? :confused:
    Well, I can only speak for myself, but I think I withdraw because of the depth of the connection I'm having to the situation or person. If it's particularly intense or consuming emotionally, I know at some point I won't be able to sustain it and I'll have to pull back. We're the sprinters of the love world - we give it in intense bursts. I've noticed that some people seem to get a high off of that kind of consuming interaction, and they don't want to disconnect, or they won't allow me to disconnect and reconnoiter when I need to. That's when I start to feel like I have someone clinging to me, which I really hate. I give love to people as a way to affirm what they are, but not to artificially supplement them with self esteem.


    Quote Originally Posted by Alcearos View Post
    I'm not that sure about it. I just act; I don't think how I have an impact on people. I never thought of it. I get confused when I do notice I have impact on them and then I get embarrassed. It's really weird because I really LOVE people!
    I do this as well. Because I want to give love and affirmation to someone, and have it be just for them, and so I don't think about how it's making me look, or that I might be doing something "noble". I hate becoming aware of the "niceness" of what I've just done for someone else because then it looks as if I were doing it in hopes for future praise from others, and that was the last thing in my mind.

  9. #319
    To the top of the world arcticangel02's Avatar
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    Ooh, interesting, very interesting. I did wonder about the withdrawing thing - I mentioned on Alcearos's blog that I do that same.

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    I do it as well. I used to think I was behaving bizarrely, but I realise now that I just do it initially as a way to gauge what's happening. Like I need to reassess the dynamic between myself and the other person. It's not total withdrawal, but more like stepping back a minute. I tend to do it when I've had a revelation about my relationship, usually in the form of an "A HA!" moment, and then I feel like I need to regroup. It's frustrating because people frequently misinterpret this as me being upset with them, or repelled somehow, despite my attempts to explain.
    That could well be the reason - I (thankfully?) don't do it often enough to really understand it, but this will give me something to think about as to why. Thanks, Jaye!
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  10. #320
    Member allie bug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    I want to give love and affirmation to someone, and have it be just for them, and so I don't think about how it's making me look, or that I might be doing something "noble". I hate becoming aware of the "niceness" of what I've just done for someone else because then it looks as if I were doing it in hopes for future praise from others, and that was the last thing in my mind.
    I do this too....it's hard to be an anonymous giver in most situations. Especially in ones where it could be construed as means to get something out of the situation.
    I myself have problems accepting compliments or any sort of praise, and immediately try to rationalize it to the person who is giving it.
    like "Well I owed you lunch bc you gave me jolly rancher in 3rd grade"

    Even gratitude. Do any other ENFPs have problems accepting "Thanks" ? Even if you know its deserved?

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