[ENFJ] ENFJ & INFP

[OrangeAppled]

I would say Fi is like a wound, and a bandage must be slapped on in order to function in everyday life and keep stuff from oozing out. If we think someone can heal the wound, them we may open it up to them. Ultimately, we must heal and be healed. Hence, being called "Healers".

EDIT: Maybe you're just a lot more well-adjusted than some of us Scott

 

[Thursday]

I would say Fi is like a wound, and a bandage must be slapped on in order to function in everyday life and keep stuff from oozing out. If we think someone can heal the wound, them we may open it up to them. Ultimately, we must heal and be healed. Hence, being called "Healers".

EDIT: Maybe you're just a lot more well-adjusted than some of us Scott

According to Apple, it is no miracle that people tell me(us) that they have been raped by their uncle or that they are having trouble in the sack or have a terminal/disease within the first meeting.

Here is my wound, healed. Show me yours. We can connect.

 

[Scott N Denver]

I would say Fi is like a wound, and a bandage must be slapped on in order to function in everyday life and keep stuff from oozing out. If we think someone can heal the wound, them we may open it up to them. Ultimately, we must heal and be healed. Hence, being called "Healers".

EDIT: Maybe you're just a lot more well-adjusted than some of us Scott

If by well-adjusted you mean "having spent like 7 years in physics grad school", hmm, where is that "committing suicide" smiley when you need it???

Actually, I think its very funny, I've spent the vast majority of my life in VERY non-NFP environments: around the military, wanting to join the military, combative martial arts training, working for the government, research physicist, engineer. I feel like I'm the *posterchild* of what INFP's are NOT supposed to do in their lives... I have been described as "tough" by a lot of people though...Hee hee hee, INFP warriors baby! Take that Rambo! The thing is, when your doing those things above you understand WHY INFP's are not supposed to generally do them. Simply put, its in your face every moment of everyday of your life why INFP's generally aren't supposed to do those things. That's tough, that sucks, yeah real bad.

I'd guess that for a lot of INFP's its more an issue of feeling comfortable as opposed to being well-adjusted. I could be wrong though. I think a lot of external situations and/or people make us feel uncomfortable, as opposed to simply feeling uncomfortable on the inside.

Hmmm, I can't say that I've ever heard of Fi being described as a "wound" before...

Maybe this will be inspiring: In Lenore Thomson's Personality Type [REALLY good book, VERY in depth and informative and thought-provoking], in the INFP section she says "[INFP's] realize that being responsible to their values isn't about fighting what exists; it's about building, recognizing that they can do things, want to do things, that might not even occur to others." See your Fi as the strength/potential that it is, not as a weakness or a "wound" that needs to be covered up. To me, an "INFP warrior" is someone that has the strength/commitment to give expression or bring into the world what they have within themself. People like our Fi, and our Ne, we just have to remember to feel comfortable and/or courageous enough to actually do so. Note: not everyone likes our Fi and Ne, but those people are probably jackasses anyways ['represses painful memories']

Back to our [potential] relationships with ENFJ's though

 

[Scott N Denver]

So, ENFJ's where can we find you??? Other than the gym and whatever else JtG mentioned. Actually a lot of places are just NF in general, so many of the INFP places would also be ENFJ places: museums, plays, spiritual groups, volunteering, environmentalism, libraries, chatting at coffee shops, etc

Actually, I read, I think on this forum, "you don't have to find ENF[J's], they will find you!" Whoever posted that probably didn't realize that that would require that us INFP's be in the same place as the afore-mentioned ENF[J's], which would require that we leave our houses, which is apparently frequently rather iffy...

 

[Scott N Denver]

INFP's and ENFJ's are both very good "healers" if you will. Both of others, and to an extent, of themselves. Well, hold on I'd better double check, ENFJ's can you "heal" yourselves? But, when either type finds a hurt/wound within themselves that they can't fix themselves, then they are pretty much like "Great, well now who is gonna heal ME?" Which is part of why we are great for each other, cuz we can each heal the other, including of stuff that we apparently can't really heal ourselves.

 

[Scott N Denver]

EDIT: Maybe you're just a lot more well-adjusted than some of us Scott

Dude, it sounds like Thursday has got it going on!

 

[Scott N Denver]

OA: paraphrasing something I read somewhere: "At their best, INFP's live their life in such a way so as to make "the real world" more like that imaginary-daydreamy-utopian-wonderland-idealized vision in their Fi heads, and they succeed."

Go us!

 

[SurlyAdam]

I would say Fi is like a wound, and a bandage must be slapped on in order to function in everyday life and keep stuff from oozing out. If we think someone can heal the wound, them we may open it up to them. Ultimately, we must heal and be healed. Hence, being called "Healers".

I think that's you describing your own view on life more than the function of Fi.

The simplest description I've found to explain Fi is that its use is like cooking without a recipe. You know based on experience what ingredients to add, how much, and adjust as you go based on what you're getting and what you want. It is very subjective and you "just know" when you're on the right track.

I was surprised to learn how few people are governed by Fi, because I've used it my entire life. It was only recently that I discovered how foreign it is for people to trust their intuition and make decisions based on what they want. Every major life decision I've made was based on what made sense to me, for me, and "felt right." I even use it when deciding which route to take to work, and most efficient will only win if I am late.

I see Fi as inspiration.

OA: paraphrasing something I read somewhere: "At their best, INFP's live their life in such a way so as to make "the real world" more like that imaginary-day-dreamy-Utopian-wonderland-idealized vision in their Fi heads, and they succeed."

Go us!

An INFP can be very inspiring, as they concentrate on what's possible instead of dwelling on the current situation. Fi allows us to follow the freedom of our hearts' desires; Ne allows us to see the possibilities; and Si gives us the knowledge of experience. All of this will only work if we trust ourselves though, which takes a lot of courage, or encouragement.

Going back to the topic of the post: The ENFJ is very encourageing of the dreamy, inspired nature of the INFP. And the INFP in turn helps the ENFJ believe in themself and their vision of what they want to make happen, and helps them find a way to make it happen. It's a very supportive relationship, where each tirelessly supports the other.

 

[The Grand Chameleon]

Actually, I read, I think on this forum, "you don't have to find ENF[J's], they will find you!" Whoever posted that probably didn't realize that that would require that us INFP's be in the same place as the afore-mentioned ENF[J's], which would require that we leave our houses, which is apparently frequently rather iffy...

Flash them pearly whites just once, and that's the "go" sign for us. Wherever that might be.

 

[Glycerine]

I think INFP and ENFJ may work great. I always seem to open up more with INFPs than any other type and I try to encourage them and make them emotionally safe. I have known many INFPs IRL and we usually get along really well. If I am a real ENFJ, my Fe doesn't really clash with Fi but more or less tends to complement.

 

[runvardh]

I think INFP and ENFJ may work great. I always seem to open up more with INFPs than any other type and I try to encourage them and make them emotionally safe. I have known many INFPs IRL and we usually get along really well. If I am a real ENFJ, my Fe doesn't really clash with Fi but more or less tends to complement.

That's funny, this is how I feel with my great aunt (whom I suspect is an ENFJ).

 

[OrangeAppled]

I'd guess that for a lot of INFP's its more an issue of feeling comfortable as opposed to being well-adjusted. I could be wrong though. I think a lot of external situations and/or people make us feel uncomfortable, as opposed to simply feeling uncomfortable on the inside.

This is true, but I'd say that someone who has become very comfortable with themselves so as to share their inner world relatively easily is well-adjusted.

What I was basically saying is, INFPs may hold back a bit at first til we feel safe because of past experience or our general temperament makes them cautious. Every profile describes us as very sensitive (and that's all the "wound" was meant to convey, not a weakness). From reading so many other INFP posts, this sensitivity makes some of us wary of letting that inner world out too quickly with someone.

When we do share ourselves, it can be therapeutic. I also find I open up to those who open up to me, so it's therapeutic for them also. ENFJs may inspire us (and we may nspire them) to open up a little faster than usual.

More on how INFPs present a different face from what is going on internally:
"INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful to others, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely."

 

[Thessaly]

I think INFP and ENFJ may work great. I always seem to open up more with INFPs than any other type and I try to encourage them and make them emotionally safe. I have known many INFPs IRL and we usually get along really well. If I am a real ENFJ, my Fe doesn't really clash with Fi but more or less tends to complement.

Why do you think that you open up more with INFPs?

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

I open up more with INFP's because I believe that tend to receive my thoughts openly as they do with all others, the difference is I believe they can reciprocate and relate better due to their NF core. I have an INFP friend and we can go on babbling about nothing and everything at the same time. It's awesome! I enjoy INFP's I recently met my friend INFP female and I enjoy her as well! We share a lot of the same point of views. We spoke the other day about drinking alcohol and getting drunk. we both viewed it as pointless, and a waste of money. She said, The next morning you wake up feeling terrible and all you really can say is: I payed for this? I agreed with her so much within myself it was amazing. I just really feel that the core of an INFP is much like an ENFJ only less expressed due to their introverted nature.

Point being made: I open up to INFP's because I feel like we are a lot the same and they can agree with what I think and vice versa.

 

[Glycerine]

Why do you think that you open up more with INFPs?

They give off a soft, genuine vibe and feel like I can usually accurately pick up on their emotions and vice versa (IRL). I also really enjoy the INFP quirky side.

 

[Thessaly]

My ENFJ told me today that he wants to take things slow and that he just got out of relationship. Well then what's with all the crazy excitement over me??? I hate when guys get me all riled up and then deliver me crap news like that. I knew he was too good to be true. I am so rebound girl .

 

[Scott N Denver]

ENFJ's make everyone feel like they are the most interesting person ever and the center of the universe. However, as other ENFJ posters have said, if he was open with you, that's worth a lot. ENFJ's tend to hold on to former partners, so if nothing else you'd probably have the occasional ENFJ company. Fwiw, I'd say take it slow and see where things go. ENFJ's have deep feelings, but they aren't as good at processing and getting over things as we are. Well, they move on better, but they don't process as thoroughly or completely, meaning they are more likely to have baggage that still needs dealing with. You could volunteer to help them sort through their feelings faster, since we excel at that, and then they might be ready to move on sooner and get with you. Win win right?

 

[OrangeAppled]

My ENFJ told me today that he wants to take things slow and that he just got out of relationship. Well then what's with all the crazy excitement over me??? I hate when guys get me all riled up and then deliver me crap news like that. I knew he was too good to be true. I am so rebound girl .

Awww....that's a bummer. Fickle ENFJs! :steam:
Well, I'd say let him take it slow, keep your options open, and temper any growing obsession

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

Be patient and take everything his says with a grain of salt. Leave your heart at home when you deal with him. TAKE IT SLOWWWWW <333

 

[Thessaly]

Thanks for the support guys. I am seeing him again in a couple days and we'll see what happens then. I guess I understand him not advertising the recent break up immediately to me, but I'm not sure what to think of his attitude. One minute he's this ball of enthusiasm wanting to know everything about me and then next he's withdrawing on me and apparently all broken. Wtf? Maybe he didn't expect me to start liking him so much so quick. I'll try to resist stronger feelings, but I have always been led around like a doggy on a leash by my heart.