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Thread: ENFJ & INFP

  1. #31
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpottingTrains View Post
    Wow, there are a lot of posts on that site lol. I don't even think there is an ENFJ dedicated forum haha.
    We may be introverts, but get us going and we totally get all "blah blah blah blah blah!"

    There probably isn't a dedicated ENFJ forum because you all are out in the real world talking with people face to face.

    INFP stereotype:

    ENFJ stereotype:

  2. #32
    Senior Member Jonathanthegreat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    Just know that an INFP will never pursue you despite liking you.
    Is this for males or females? You saying that they'll just kinda wait for you to come to them?

    I recently asked a female INFP for her phone number and out to coffee to just talk, she accepted. I wonder now if she accepts everyones offer because she is just ridiculously nice/meek, or if I'm special....or both hmmmmm

    I guess because this is titled enfj and infp I am allowed to ask this question

  3. #33
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    Just know that an INFP will never pursue you despite liking you.
    Nonsense; I asked my husband out all by myself when we first met, thank you very much!

    However, I would agree that this is not typical; it had to be an exceptional attraction to make me just go over and chat up a guy I didn't know when I was in my twenties.

  4. #34
    Reason vs Being ragashree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathanthegreat View Post
    Is this for males or females? You saying that they'll just kinda wait for you to come to them?
    Both, I would say

    I recently asked a female INFP for her phone number and out to coffee to just talk, she accepted.
    Sure, why not accept someone's offer if they seem pleasant and intelligent enough, and want to talk and have coffee. Infps generally enjoy good conversation more than they enjoy initiating it. Regardless of your persuasive skills or your level of interest in her, however, she will be the one deciding if and when it's going to go any further! Talking to someone, 1-2-1 or otherwise, and having a romantic interest in them are not generally related things to infps.

    I wonder now if she accepts everyones offer because she is just ridiculously nice/meek
    This is quite possible, but I'd have a care with usage of the word "meek" in an infp context if I were you, unless you like setting yourself up for nasty surprises at some point down the line. You would be more accurate substituting it for the word "polite" here, unless she's a very unusual case
    Look into my avatar. Look deep into my avatar...

  5. #35
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ferrisbueller View Post
    I really agree with the people who have said that ENFJs want to know everything about you, but don't want to reveal much themselves. I've had a couple ENFJ friends, and they're so fun to talk to, and I just find myself telling them everything and we're having this great conversation and then when it ends I realize I've told them everything about myself and they've somehow avoided revealing anything about themselves.
    Interestingly enough, one of my ENFJ friends says that he likes self-absorbed girls. I think its because he doesn't have to let any of his own information slip as long as the convo is focused on her.
    Wow! I was just telling one of my friends this yesterday! Self-ish (thanks for the word Jennifer!) people are easier to talk to in some situations. It's like I know exactly who and what they are and there's a low expectation of reciprocation of interest which when they're entertaining is OK. It's like going on auto-pilot and they really don't notice as long as you indicate you're still listening. It's white noise. I don't really mind people talking about themselves for extended amounts of time as long as they're interesting and when the overture is made to say something about yourself they don't completely rebuff the attempts.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  6. #36
    Senior Member ENFJ_Catholic's Avatar
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    I, for one, like balanced conversation. Not stating one's life story to every man and woman on the street is not a bad thing!
    "In the end it is not a matter of reason; it is a matter of love." - St. Thomas More

  7. #37
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Nonsense; I asked my husband out all by myself when we first met, thank you very much!

    However, I would agree that this is not typical; it had to be an exceptional attraction to make me just go over and chat up a guy I didn't know when I was in my twenties.

    Interesting. When I really really like I guy I find it more difficult to chat them up lol. I had less difficulty chatting up guys before a few turn downs and then being hurt in relationships.

    I think that INFPs are probably more likely to make moves with other introverts that seem more harmless and then when experience hasn't soured them much. I still somewhat pursue guys, but it's more about letting someone know I'm interested in subtle ways rather than giving out phone numbers or actually asking to spend time together alone.

    I have no idea about INFP males, I have yet to discover one. I would really like to though. I think they would probably be interesting companions (in the right mood of course .

  8. #38
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    I still somewhat pursue guys, but it's more about letting someone know I'm interested in subtle ways rather than giving out phone numbers or actually asking to spend time together alone.
    .
    Care to extrapolate on that at all ?
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  9. #39
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    SpottingTrains: Were any of those discussions on that INFP forum about where to find INFP's helpful or informative?

    NF's are stereotypically known for their prevalence in things like spiritual/ groups, alternative healthcare, well being, social activism, environmental stuff, volunteering, etc. An INFP's values are likely to end them up there, so those are good places to look. Apparently bookstores and cafe's are too. Just look for the dreamy, quiet, idealistic person that is all by themselves!

  10. #40
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Not bars though, no, no, bars are bad places to look for INFP's in general.

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