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Thread: ENFJ & INFP

  1. #341
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I can't speak for the others, but I feel pretty stupid when I have a problem that I can't clear off rapidly, or a problem that is chronic or recurring (like my health, money issues, etc). I have no idea how it got into my head that I could stomp any obstacle to death (perhaps it's an internal wiring thing) with enough persistence and never be a "burden" to anyone. I've been made fun of and told to just "get over" problems I have which only reinforced my need for secrecy. I'm not trying to withhold information - I'm just playing my cards close to my chest so that whatever is unlovely about me won't be a burden or offensive to you (and as to my enemies, so they can't get at me with anything I haven't already allowed them to see). I share the same level of uncertainty and personal insecurity of compromised INFJs.

    I seem to think that my flaws are way worse and more loser-y than everyone else's. Having someone around who felt it necessary to "drop me a peg" every time I started to gain some height has done my head in on that subject.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  2. #342
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I can't speak for the others, but I feel pretty stupid when I have a problem that I can't clear off rapidly, or a problem that is chronic or recurring (like my health, money issues, etc). I have no idea how it got into my head that I could stomp any obstacle to death (perhaps it's an internal wiring thing) with enough persistence and never be a "burden" to anyone. I've been made fun of and told to just "get over" problems I have which only reinforced my need for secrecy. I'm not trying to withhold information - I'm just playing my cards close to my chest so that whatever is unlovely about me won't be a burden or offensive to you (and as to my enemies, so they can't get at me with anything I haven't already allowed them to see). I share the same level of uncertainty and personal insecurity of compromised INFJs.

    I seem to think that my flaws are way worse and more loser-y than everyone else's. Having someone around who felt it necessary to "drop me a peg" every time I started to gain some height has done my head in on that subject.

    Honey, you are way too hard on yourself. I too am quite stubborn about things and prolonged problems test my patience big time. There really is no reason for you to think that you are more of a loser than anyone. Personally I think you are pretty smart and real nice person, we all have our flaws and believe me I feel real stupid when I make mistakes but I at times realize that I build it up to be a lot worse than it really is. Sometimes I think that my mind is my own worst enemy. Ironically enough, here at my job whenever one of us makes a mistake we like to blow it out of proportion and just bust their chops for as long as we can (in good fun of course) but at the same time I realize that the mistakes you make are really not that much of a big deal.
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  3. #343
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Do you think all ENFJs are perfectionists on some level?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #344
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Do you think all ENFJs are perfectionists on some level?

    Everyone seems to believe so, I for sure know that I am.
    ENFJ 3W4

    If you read this I am sorry to say that you just lost 5 seconds of your life that you wont be getting back.*

    *Actual time may vary.

  5. #345
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I can't speak for the others, but I feel pretty stupid when I have a problem that I can't clear off rapidly, or a problem that is chronic or recurring (like my health, money issues, etc). I have no idea how it got into my head that I could stomp any obstacle to death (perhaps it's an internal wiring thing) with enough persistence and never be a "burden" to anyone. I've been made fun of and told to just "get over" problems I have which only reinforced my need for secrecy. I'm not trying to withhold information - I'm just playing my cards close to my chest so that whatever is unlovely about me won't be a burden or offensive to you (and as to my enemies, so they can't get at me with anything I haven't already allowed them to see). I share the same level of uncertainty and personal insecurity of compromised INFJs.

    I seem to think that my flaws are way worse and more loser-y than everyone else's. Having someone around who felt it necessary to "drop me a peg" every time I started to gain some height has done my head in on that subject.
    Maybe it's an idealist NF thing, because INFPs go through this also (feeling like a burden, needing to be perfect). And nothing makes me more mad when people's problems and feelings are trivialized :steam:.

    This is why INFPs end up drawing people in who need to talk about their problems because it's unusual for us to be dismissive to them. I've stood there for a half hour on the sidewalk while a stranger nearly broke down in tears to me because he was losing his home (which had been in the family for a long time). I think this is why it really bugs the INFP that ENFJs are resistant to opening up to us. Maybe the fact that it drives us crazy is part of the attraction....
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  6. #346
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Do you think all ENFJs are perfectionists on some level?
    I think there afraid to screw up.

    Something I told my wife the other day is that I know I screw up alot and I forget alot but my Fe+Se is used to make it all better.

  7. #347
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    We don't forget when we screw up. In fact, it gets branded into our minds. I have a list that stretches back to when I was a kid that I can't forget even when I try or even when I forgive myself for messing up.

    OA - sorry we're so resistant... that has to be annoying and frustrating.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  8. #348
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Do you think all ENFJs are perfectionists on some level?
    and obsessing over things for days and not being able to let go?
    yes.
    I N V I C T U S

  9. #349
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    I think that INFPs could teach ENFJs to live more in the present to help avoid those mental games and anxiety that come from anticipating the future and dwelling on the past too much. In return ENFJs can teach INFPs to be more patient and allow events to unfold in their own time.

  10. #350
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    In return ENFJs can teach INFPs to be more patient and allow events to unfold in their own time.
    Interesting. I always figured that patience is something the INFP would bring to the ENFJ - not the other way around. This may be a gender thing, though. Or I may be wrong.

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