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Thread: ENFJ & INFP

  1. #331
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    There is no such thing as a perfect relationship for any type, really. We are flawed people living in a flawed world. INFPs just tend to be one of the types most focused on a perfect love.
    I disagree...I think that sensors in particular could have near perfect relationships. They don't try to obtain a certain level of perfection, and so then can be content with more options.

    I kind of feel like you're more of a 'thinker' than a 'feeler'...

  2. #332
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lost verses View Post
    I disagree...I think that sensors in particular could have near perfect relationships. They don't try to obtain a certain level of perfection, and so then can be content with more options.
    They simply have a different focus and have different needs and wants. How do you know they don't strive to obtain a certain level of perfection? What makes you think that their differing focus doesn't introduce a whole new blend of problems that us INFPs gloss over in search of a perfect love?

  3. #333
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Last night, I was listening to Sarah McLachlan sing "Building a Mystery" and it struck me very forcefully... it sounded like an INFP woman singing about an ENFJ guy. Does anyone else relate to her description? I'm not a guy, but I saw something of myself in there.

    *************

    You come out at night
    That's when the energy comes
    And the dark side's light
    And the vampires roam
    You strut your rasta wear
    And your suicide poem
    And a cross from a faith that died
    Before Jesus came
    You're building a mystery

    You live in a church
    Where you sleep with voodoo dolls
    And you won't give up the search
    For the ghosts in the halls
    You wear sandals in the snow
    And a smile that won't wash away
    Can you look out the window
    Without your shadow getting in the way?

    You're so beautiful
    With an edge and charm
    but so careful
    When I'm in your arms

    Cause you're working
    Building a mystery
    Holding on and holding it in
    Yeah you're working
    Building a mystery
    And choosing so carefully

    You woke up screaming aloud
    A prayer from your secret god
    You feed off our fears
    And hold back your tears, oh
    Give us a tantrum
    And a know-it-all grin
    Just when we need one
    When the evening's thin

    You're a beautiful
    A beautiful fucked up man
    You're setting up your
    Razor wire shrine
    And building a mystery...
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  4. #334
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    ^^

    Those lyrics remind me of Neil LaBute, who I have a strong feeling is ENFJ.

    Neil LaBute Has a Thing About Beauty

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/29/ma...pagewanted=all
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  5. #335
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    pink - yes
    I N V I C T U S

  6. #336
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Good. It shook me rather hard, really resonated with me.

    Protes - I followed your link, but got redirected!
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  7. #337
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Pink - the title is "Neil LaBute Has a Thing About Beauty". You can try going to NYTimes.com and copy-pasting the title in the search box up near the top.

    And yeah, I can see an INFP writing something like that.

  8. #338
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Fair point. I wasn't trying to say that ENFP-INFP couldn't work. I guess it boils down to the fact that I may be unfairly viewing the type of love that entails of 100% dedication to a partner, above all else, as a form of clinginess. I'm having a hard time seeing how that can be healthy, but again, perhaps that's just me.
    Dedication also means ability to compromise or forego gratification (this need to cling). Dedication means acknowledging the type of person your partner is and trying to adapt to that. It goes both ways obviously.

  9. #339
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    Quote Originally Posted by ferrisbueller View Post
    I really agree with the people who have said that ENFJs want to know everything about you, but don't want to reveal much themselves. I've had a couple ENFJ friends, and they're so fun to talk to, and I just find myself telling them everything and we're having this great conversation and then when it ends I realize I've told them everything about myself and they've somehow avoided revealing anything about themselves.
    Interestingly enough, one of my ENFJ friends says that he likes self-absorbed girls. I think its because he doesn't have to let any of his own information slip as long as the convo is focused on her.


    HaHa, I am an ENFP and I find this same thing about ENFJs. I call to ask about them, they ask me about me, 10 minutes later I am like "Wait, I have been talking and you haven't said a word"

    "......."

    is the usual response, lol.


    Pry it out of them, ENFJs actually like to talk when they feel like they aren't going to be judged for it negatively.

  10. #340
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goatman455 View Post
    HaHa, I am an ENFP and I find this same thing about ENFJs. I call to ask about them, they ask me about me, 10 minutes later I am like "Wait, I have been talking and you haven't said a word"

    Pry it out of them, ENFJs actually like to talk when they feel like they aren't going to be judged for it negatively.

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