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Thread: ENFJ & INFP

  1. #321
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    Yeah - it would have been much different if she wanted to try it instead of doing it because she thought it would make me happy
    You do realize that's an impossible trap, right? Everytime I've seen someone with that attitude it turns out the same.

    So she doesn't want to do it, and has two choices. If she decides to do it to try and make you happy, you punish her by taking away the very thing she was trying to obtain - intimacy. So instead, she decides not to do it. Well, guess what? You expressed that it's something you wanted, so over time you'll get increasingly resentful that she's not returning the favor. So what starts off as an initial victory becomes more and more of an issue over time. She loses, again.

    The only way for her to win is to want to do it, but guess what? She can't really control that. She can only want to make you happy, and be willing to try it out as a means to accomplish it. But of course, that's not good enough.

    She loses no matter what.

  2. #322
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Definitely not ENFP.
    Why do you say that?

  3. #323
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    If you can't handle someone wanting to give something to you it's your hang-up. I'd be happy some girl wanted to give me something as long as it wasn't objectionable to her. However, if she freaks out when I freely give for her happiness that doesn't compromise my morals, she can grow up or find someone less appreciative of her.
    I know. She was the one that I took my guard down for.
    Once she said
    " So wait....you can help me but I can't help you? Do you know how unfair that is?" - I gave in.
    I N V I C T U S

  4. #324
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Why do you say that?
    Everytime I've been witness to it, the ENFP found it smothering and ran.

  5. #325
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    You do realize that's an impossible trap, right? Everytime I've seen someone with that attitude it turns out the same.

    So she doesn't want to do it, and has two choices. If she decides to do it to try and make you happy, you punish her by taking away the very thing she was trying to obtain - intimacy., So instead, she decides not to do it. Well, guess what? You expressed that it's something you wanted, so over time you'll get increasingly resentful that she's not returning the favor. So what starts off as an initial victory becomes more and more of an issue over time. She loses, again.

    The only way for her to win is to want to do it, but guess what? She can't really control that. She can only want to make you happy, and be willing to try it out as a means to accomplish it. But of course, that's not good enough.

    She loses no matter what.
    I agree......but the bold part is invalid.
    For me, if she doesn't want to do it, then she doesn't do it. Its not a need, its oral sex. She thought it would please me....when it didn't even cross my mind. Of course it was fine and dandy when receiving it.
    I N V I C T U S

  6. #326
    Senior Member SciVo's Avatar
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    Maybe read some Dan Savage? Of course I'd say that since I'm an INFP, but still...
    INFP ~ Fi/Ne/Ni/Te ~ 9-2-4 sp/so

  7. #327
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Everytime I've been witness to it, the ENFP found it smothering and ran.
    I see it pretty black and white (unlike most other things in life). You're either interested and it wouldn't register as smothering (relationships are paramount to ENFPs, or so the legend has it, right?), or you're not, which means you're not in love in the first place. Obviously being in love with someone means you already know, in part, what you like about that other person, which probably might already entail being given a certain degree of freedom, in the eyes of the ENFP.

  8. #328
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    i fucking love this thread
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #329
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Everytime I've been witness to it, the ENFP found it smothering and ran.
    Aw that's too bad...Hmmm. I don't think there's a single relationship that would work perfectly for the infp at least, if it was perfect, a lasting relationship, for the infp. I mean either they don't understand the infp and have these issues with them, or they get bored of the infp, OR...they're an s and irritate the infp.

    But maybe I'm just being cynical these days lol

  10. #330
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lost verses View Post
    Aw that's too bad...Hmmm. I don't think there's a single relationship that would work perfectly for the infp at least, if it was perfect, a lasting relationship, for the infp. I mean either they don't understand the infp and have these issues with them, or they get bored of the infp, OR...they're an s and irritate the infp.
    There is no such thing as a perfect relationship for any type, really. We are flawed people living in a flawed world. INFPs just tend to be one of the types most focused on a perfect love.

    I can't speak for all INFPs, but for me, the closest to perfection I'll ever reach in a relationship is being able to find the beauty in as many of the flaws as possible.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    I see it pretty black and white (unlike most other things in life). You're either interested and it wouldn't register as smothering (relationships are paramount to ENFPs, or so the legend has it, right?), or you're not, which means you're not in love in the first place. Obviously being in love with someone means you already know, in part, what you like about that other person, which probably might already entail being given a certain degree of freedom, in the eyes of the ENFP.
    Fair point. I wasn't trying to say that ENFP-INFP couldn't work. I guess it boils down to the fact that I may be unfairly viewing the type of love that entails of 100% dedication to a partner, above all else, as a form of clinginess. I'm having a hard time seeing how that can be healthy, but again, perhaps that's just me.

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