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Thread: ENFJ & INFP

  1. #311
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I see this view as "very INFP" actually. INFPs can be a bit rebellious, need a lot of space, and hold fast to their individuality. The need to be a unique individual and fulfill some idealistic vision is at odds with allowing a relationship to consume you.

    Not to mention, no matter how great a love, I have certain values/morals that will never be compromised; so in that sense, I'd have to always maintain a strong self-identity.




    Which is why, in theory, ENFJs can be a great match for the INFP, who would probably consider it very depressing to lose their individuality and give up on their dreams to become the other half of someone else. Or hey, maybe that's just me

    Although, I will add that I think common goals, desires, and values are important things to share from the beginning; not because one person gives up their set for the other, but because you're on similar life paths already.
    I think it does suit INFP well. I have strong sense of self too and I don't think I could give that up for anyone. I think being supportive of (even encouraging in) your partner's individuality is very attractive quality. I would love to be with someone with whom I have a deep connection (and similar goals, values, and life path as you say) without the need to compromise my identity.

  2. #312
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lost verses View Post
    I'm always attracted to those damn ENFx's though ...but I've been thinking lately that they may cause too much pain because of them either getting bored or getting fed up with the infp ways... so maybe the INFP would be the less painful way to go in the end for the infp...
    It would be a good start. You'd need to have some sort of overlapping interest set, too. There are real world matters that simply must be dealt with: Bills, grocery shopping, dinner, car/home maintenance (or repairs), etc. If one INFP is closer to the xxTJ divide than the other, s/he will become the pseudo TJ of the relationship, which leads to resentment on both sides.

    Quote Originally Posted by SciVo View Post
    It seems to me that for men in relationships with xNFP women, there's a "ghost" xSTJ present -- a paranormal mnage trois -- due to societal expectations of gender roles. Maybe artsier (enneagram type 4) xNFP men wouldn't experience it that way, but I sense the ghost, even by myself. For example, I know that to get my taxes in on time, I need to buy a program, feel time pressure and get slightly drunk; and I do what it takes. I have this instinctive sense that I would end up moving ever further into my shadow in a relationship with another INFP, and that an INFJ would probably be much healthier for me.
    This. I tend to become more INTJish in the presence of xNFPs, though. (Which I've always felt was what drew them to me moreso than my INFP side.) I don't have that issue with xNFJs, as they naturally fill in some of the gaps.

    I think there are some major differences between the IP-EJ types that require alot of self-awareness, patience, and communication. When it's at it's best though, we both get each other's back in our areas of weaknesses.

  3. #313
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    ......without the need to compromise my identity.
    We were involved and one day she confesses that the oral sex is something she did for me, and not a natural urge.
    This made me furious. We didn't do it for a couple of days.
    I N V I C T U S

  4. #314
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    We were involved and one day she confesses that the oral sex is something she did for me, and not a natural urge.
    This made me furious. We didn't do it for a couple of days.
    What were you furious at?

  5. #315
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    We were involved and one day she confesses that the oral sex is something she did for me, and not a natural urge.
    This made me furious. We didn't do it for a couple of days.
    Me and my ENFJ had these conversations. It was just little things that I said I wanted to do even though I didnt, then we have things that she wished I would do without telling her I didnt want to. Whats up with that? How do you know?

  6. #316
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    We were involved and one day she confesses that the oral sex is something she did for me, and not a natural urge.
    This made me furious. We didn't do it for a couple of days.
    I don't see how this would compromise her self-identity. I see it as just doing something to make someone you care about happy. Now, if she was morally opposed to it and compromised her standards, then that is different.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #317
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    What were you furious at?
    Apple is correct. But I still felt betrayed-that she compromised even a little, even though i would do so in a heartbeat.

    And since I would be more than willing to do the same in the same way or a different way, I think it is about control and giving for me.
    I feel uncomfortable receiving things from people(paranoia)....which was a problem since she was as much of a giver as I was(and thats a lot).
    I N V I C T U S

  8. #318
    Senior Member The Third Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thursday View Post
    Apple is correct. But I still felt betrayed-that she compromised even a little, even though i would do so in a heartbeat.

    And since I would be more than willing to do the same in the same way or a different way, I think it is about control and giving for me.
    I feel uncomfortable receiving things from people(paranoia)....which was a problem since she was as much of a giver as I was(and thats a lot).
    But that is a double standard, how would you feel if she became furious at you after you confessed that you would compromise to make her happy? Personally I would take it as a slap in the face. I think you over reacted in that situation, just my opinion.
    ENFJ 3W4

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  9. #319
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Third Rider View Post
    But that is a double standard, how would you feel if she became furious at you after you confessed that you would compromise to make her happy? Personally I would take it as a slap in the face. I think you over reacted in that situation, just my opinion.
    Yeah - it would have been much different if she wanted to try it instead of doing it because she thought it would make me happy
    I N V I C T U S

  10. #320
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    If you can't handle someone wanting to give something to you it's your hang-up. I'd be happy some girl wanted to give me something as long as it wasn't objectionable to her. However, if she freaks out when I freely give for her happiness that doesn't compromise my morals, she can grow up or find someone less appreciative of her.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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