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Thread: ENFJ & INFP

  1. #291
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpottingTrains View Post
    Don't make the ENFJ the center of your life.

    Keep reaching for your dreams ( I know it sounds cheezy- suck it) and through that we will be enthralled to help you attain them. If all you focus on is pleasing the ENFJ and have no goals of your own he won't know how to help you.
    Hmm. So it seems the ENFJ would not be happy if the INFP wanted to love them unconditionally, and make them the most important. Therefore, the ENFJ does not really like the INFPs' natural state.

    Then, does anyone know which type would value the INFP for their ability to love that much?

  2. #292
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lost verses View Post
    Hmm. So it seems the ENFJ would not be happy if the INFP wanted to love them unconditionally, and make them the most important. Therefore, the ENFJ does not really like the INFPs' natural state.

    Then, does anyone know which type would value the INFP for their ability to love that much?
    I think you are misunderstanding Trains' quote. (Or perhaps I am.)

    I think he's saying he doesn't want to be the only important thing in someone's life. I think our capacity for unconditional love (which, btw, is very, very different than blind, idealized love) and ability to consider a partner very important are particular strengths of the INFx.

  3. #293
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jtanSis1 View Post
    Also, ENFJ's should try to look deeply into INFP's because what ENFJ's are looking for is depth and you can't get any deeper. INFP's should be mysterious about their depth so an ENFJ has to peel the layers slowly, which is how you want it anyway. Also, give yourself a reminder to be spontanious with them every so often, it will suprise and intrigue them.
    ENFJs, is this mystery thing necessary?

    It is my goal to find someone who can understand me like no other, and I can understand them in the same way. I don't want to feel like I must keep teasing someone to keep them intrigued.... Granted, I am hard to get to know on a deep level, but it's possible to get there, and the worst thing I can experience is a rejection after I've allowed someone access to that part of me.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #294
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I think you are misunderstanding Trains' quote. (Or perhaps I am.)

    I think he's saying he doesn't want to be the only important thing in someone's life. I think our capacity for unconditional love (which, btw, is very, very different than blind, idealized love) and ability to consider a partner very important are particular strengths of the INFx.
    No, I think it's obvious that the infp will have other important things. But the enfj seems to dislike the fact that the infp will put the significant other over anything else, because the enfj is not willing to do the same, and therefore feels like they are pressured to do the same. So they run.

    So..anyone have any types they think would do the same as the infp?

  5. #295
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    I think you are misunderstanding Trains' quote. (Or perhaps I am.)

    I think he's saying he doesn't want to be the only important thing in someone's life. I think our capacity for unconditional love (which, btw, is very, very different than blind, idealized love) and ability to consider a partner very important are particular strengths of the INFx.
    Correct!
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  6. #296
    Senior Member Chunes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lost verses View Post
    No, I think it's obvious that the infp will have other important things. But the enfj seems to dislike the fact that the infp will put the significant other over anything else, because the enfj is not willing to do the same, and therefore feels like they are pressured to do the same. So they run.

    So..anyone have any types they think would do the same as the infp?
    ENFP, ISFJ, ISFP would be my guesses.
    "If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see."
    Thoreau

  7. #297
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lost verses View Post
    No, I think it's obvious that the infp will have other important things. But the enfj seems to dislike the fact that the infp will put the significant other over anything else, because the enfj is not willing to do the same, and therefore feels like they are pressured to do the same. So they run.

    So..anyone have any types they think would do the same as the infp?
    Not necessarily... I've seen way too many relationships that end up with one person just letting the life they lived crumble. After that you aren't left with the person you first fell for, but a misguided replica of them that has only one purpose.

    There's difference between someone being the most important thing in your life compared to someone being the ONLY important thing in your life. That's all I was getting at. Maybe I should have been more explicit.
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  8. #298
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    ENFJs, is this mystery thing necessary?

    It is my goal to find someone who can understand me like no other, and I can understand them in the same way. I don't want to feel like I must keep teasing someone to keep them intrigued.... Granted, I am hard to get to know on a deep level, but it's possible to get there, and the worst thing I can experience is a rejection after I've allowed someone access to that part of me.
    Not at all. That's not to say I don't like a little mystery, but I would much rather know a person inside-out than have them continually hurling veiled answers left and right.
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  9. #299
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lost verses View Post
    No, I think it's obvious that the infp will have other important things. But the enfj seems to dislike the fact that the infp will put the significant other over anything else, because the enfj is not willing to do the same, and therefore feels like they are pressured to do the same. So they run.
    What Trains said. It's a small step from making your partner the most important thing to the only important thing. ENFJs are surely well aware of and wary of this.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chunes View Post
    ENFP, ISFJ, ISFP would be my guesses.
    Definitely not ENFP.

  10. #300
    Senior Member Chunes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Definitely not ENFP.
    Or the INFP, for that matter.
    "If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see."
    Thoreau

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