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Thread: ENFJ & INFP

  1. #261
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    but I want 100% of him
    Is this ever likely with an ENFJ? Or do you guys tend to spread yourselves thin?
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #262
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Is this ever likely with an ENFJ? Or do you guys tend to spread yourselves thin?
    I have actually wondered this too. Even when we do start seeing each other again, unless he gives up his extra-curriculars, with work alone I'd only see him maybe twice a week. I think the main problem he is having over the ex is the fact that he never sits down on his own to introspect. I really believe he doesn't understand why or how he feels over everything. Even now with the space I am giving him he still out and about 24/7

  3. #263
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post


    -My quirkiness, he really liked the odd things I'd say and was interested in. He found me very interesting and fun.
    -My intellect, he did not shy away from admiring my intelligence, depth, and insightfullness
    -My compassion, he thought I was the nicest person ever, too nice he'd say, more understanding and caring than others would have been of his lack of closure with the ex
    -He thought I was a great listener, which is a rare rare thing in his experience
    -My thoughtfulness, just little things I'd do like bring him coffee or write him a note. I think that stuff is really what got under his skin.

    He said I had a calming effect on him and that he enjoyed just being with me.
    I think my ENFJ friend told me each of those things at some point as well.
    She also said many a time that "You are too smart for my own good", and probably said "You think too much, WAY too much".

  4. #264
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    -My eyes, not their color or shape, but the way I looked at him
    -My quirkiness, he really liked the odd things I'd say and was interested in. He found me very interesting and fun.
    -My intellect, he did not shy away from admiring my intelligence, depth, and insightfullness
    -My compassion, he thought I was the nicest person ever, too nice he'd say, more understanding and caring than others would have been of his lack of closure with the ex
    -He thought I was a great listener, which is a rare rare thing in his experience
    -My thoughtfulness, just little things I'd do like bring him coffee or write him a note. I think that stuff is really what got under his skin.
    I think I've said almost all of these things in the past week...

    This is weird lol.
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  5. #265
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Is this ever likely with an ENFJ? Or do you guys tend to spread yourselves thin?
    I don't think it's likely with any NFJ. The privacy screen is hard to breach, and I do try to make myself more transparent, not that it really works all that well. My INFJ father and I have levels of secrecy that frustrate us both.

    I don't spread myself any thinner than the rest of the women in my life, as it has been my experience that women are way more likely to be spread thin. Well, then there's the ENTP friend of mine that everyone goes to fix things and he can't ever say no. He's possibly the busiest person I've ever met (besides my ENTJ friend). When I called him, he'd multi-task with me on the phone, even when I told him it was okay and that he could call me back anytime he got a free moment, whenever that is.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #266
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpottingTrains View Post
    I think I've said almost all of these things in the past week...

    This is weird lol.
    I guess that's why we buy so much into this typing system lol. I miss my ENFJ already...damn it's almost worth putting up with his haunted-by-the-past self just to see him. This is gonna be a rough week

  7. #267
    Senior Member ENFJ_Catholic's Avatar
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    Good luck, Thessaly. Hang in there!
    "In the end it is not a matter of reason; it is a matter of love." - St. Thomas More

  8. #268
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    I dunno if I want to anymore. I get the feeling that despite breaking up with his ex he is just waiting for the day for her to turn around and admit all her wrong doings and love him for better forever. Every time I get close to him he runs away. I think it's because he knows he's still in love with his ex and doesn't want to hurt me despite really liking me. He's a nice guy, he's just torn, and I believe that I will just become collateral damage to his expiring relationship.

  9. #269
    Senior Member The Grand Chameleon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thessaly View Post
    I dunno if I want to anymore. I get the feeling that despite breaking up with his ex he is just waiting for the day for her to turn around and admit all her wrong doings and love him for better forever. Every time I get close to him he runs away. I think it's because he knows he's still in love with his ex and doesn't want to hurt me despite really liking me. He's a nice guy, he's just torn, and I believe that I will just become collateral damage to his expiring relationship.
    I think you've hit money with this conclusion. Jumping into a rebound relationship lacks the genuineness we crave in romance. Best wishes to your future endeavors with him! Sounds like this could be a very healthy match for the both of you.
    "In the game of chess, you can never let your opponent see your pieces."

  10. #270
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    I totally confronted him today with those suspicions and he was not impressed at all lol. I think my wild imagination just filled in too many spacial gaps created by his uber busy life. Oh well...better I sabotage us than him. I can live with that a little better haha.

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