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Thread: ENFJ & INFP

  1. #251
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    I bet that most male F's, esp. NF's, have lots of female friends. It's not as socially acceptable for guys to have close, caring relationships with other guys, platonically, I mean. And I think that NF's crave that kind of closeness with friends as well as romantic partners.

    I guess it might get tricky when they get into a romantic relationship though. We all know how close two women can get as friends, and sometimes those relationships have a romantic tinge to them (in fact, often) even though there is no sexual element. In fact there exists a concept called the "romantic friendship"....and I think a lot of ENFJ males do this with females who they are platonic friends with. At least, that's my experience with my ENFJ friend. And while the friendship is very special, it is kind of difficult because it's not something that fits into any of society's categories.

  2. #252
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bearette View Post
    It's not as socially acceptable for guys to have close, caring relationships with other guys, platonically, I mean.
    I think it's fine - you just have to observe protocol. Which isn't hard really.

  3. #253
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I had a small following of female friends when I was a kid, but I kind of pushed away from that as I got older. Funny thing was I don't ever remember going through the koodies stage like other kids did.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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  4. #254
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    A question for you ENFJs: What would it take to force you to break up with a partner of many years? My ENFJ gives such diplomatic responses like "better as friends" and "the wrong chemistry", but that is way to anti-climatic to leave such a lasting impact. I'm thinking my ENFJ isn't leveling with me. And do you all make such strong efforts to remain friends with exes? That is something I just don't get at all. I find it irritating actually. Let go of the past for Christ's sake.

  5. #255
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    I read somewhere, Kroger and Thuesen maybe, that ENFJ's ___ and therefore tend to keep a lot of their former bf/gf's around as friends. I'm trying to remember what ___ was though: social harmony, seeing the good in everyone, not writing people off, seeing the good in their exes?

  6. #256
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    If I liked you enough to date you, and get THAT close to you, I'd rather end it on a good note and avoid blood shed because I cared about you to the nth degree. Doesn't mean I want you up in my business anymore, but I don't want a land war either.

    Look, speaking from personal experience, we don't let go - it's one of our good traits that gets out of whack or exploited. My white knuckled grip on your shirt is going to keep us both from going into the Styx. On the flipside, my tenacity and intense bonding can hold me in stasis, esp when I could make no sense of a disastrous end, a brutal internal tearing. I'll return to the scene of the tragedy over and over and forensically pick it over to make it give up all of it's ghosts. I also tend to have a long memory and little sense of time or present reality.

    We're like ENTJs in not abiding loss or domination, and we're like INFJs in not letting a soul slip through our fingers.
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  7. #257
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    So I ended things with the ENFJ for now. He needs some space and to think a bit. We are great for each other, but I want 100% of him. I'll probably give him a call in 3 weeks or so. I hope he understands.

  8. #258
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Ooh, so now that you have some downtime, what do ENFJ's like about us? And please no circle-jerk responses this time, ok? Enquiring INFP minds want to know...

  9. #259
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Do you feel that grew/developed from this relationship? If so, in what ways? What do we other might-hook-up-with-ENFJ's-someday INFP's have to look forward to? Is a dual F_-dom relationship super-wubby?

    INFP minds continue to inquire...

  10. #260
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    lol well my ENFJ liked a lot of things about me. Too many to list off the top of my head. I've never been complemented and flattered by one person in such a short period of time. The reoccurring complements I received were:

    -My eyes, not their color or shape, but the way I looked at him
    -My quirkiness, he really liked the odd things I'd say and was interested in. He found me very interesting and fun.
    -My intellect, he did not shy away from admiring my intelligence, depth, and insightfullness
    -My compassion, he thought I was the nicest person ever, too nice he'd say, more understanding and caring than others would have been of his lack of closure with the ex
    -He thought I was a great listener, which is a rare rare thing in his experience
    -My thoughtfulness, just little things I'd do like bring him coffee or write him a note. I think that stuff is really what got under his skin.

    He said I had a calming effect on him and that he enjoyed just being with me. He also liked that I was selective with dating and my sexuality and that it made him feel special. I think he is more into conservative types that don't sleep around. He told me over and over again I was exactly his type. I guess this is why he tried to make things work with me despite being all broken over the ex.

    I think that he made me realize that I underestimate my good qualities and I benefited from our contact in that way. His enthusiasm for my potential made me feel inspired to be more proactive and chase my dreams, and pursue my interests - even when others would have not been so keen on them. The F -dom was definitely super-wubby. Lots of hugging and pecking and appreciating.

    I look forward to our reunion. I think this one has potential to last a long long time.

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