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Thread: ENFJ & INFP

  1. #201
    Senior Member Jonathanthegreat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Liking someone out of gratitude? OK.
    Not sure if this was directed to me but I definitely never said liking someone out of gratitude.

  2. #202
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Oh, my gosh, that is so true that I want to marry it and have little truth babies with it. It's very easy to make the mistake of collecting hobbies and skills in the hopes it will attract someone. I can admire someone's skills, but I'm going to fall for the person.
    Between your truth babies and your babies of 24k gold, you will be the happiest mother ever. Brady Bunch ain't got nuthin' on you!

    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Nothing attracts attention like a good act though. With out attention who's going to look at the person?
    There's truth to this, but acts eventually lose their unique luster. Unless you want a girl that marries you solely for your sewing skills, it's imperative to be interesting enough to maintain her attention.

  3. #203
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post

    There's truth to this, but acts eventually lose their unique luster. Unless you want a girl that marries you solely for your sewing skills, it's imperative to be interesting enough to maintain her attention.
    Wise words.

  4. #204
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    There's truth to this, but acts eventually lose their unique luster. Unless you want a girl that marries you solely for your sewing skills, it's imperative to be interesting enough to maintain her attention.
    Apparently I follow the boring stereotype then.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  5. #205
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Apparently I follow the boring stereotype then.
    What stereotype is that?

  6. #206
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    The two female INFPs I treasure don't really seem like to INFPs on the forum so maybe that's the difference. They're feisty, assertive, and have got energy for days. I think they have healthy Te development...both of them have advanced degrees so they've probably had the Te beat into them.
    There's a lot of INFPs here (incl. me) who like to remind people that we're not cuddly bunnies, and yes, we can do math . Despite the noise we make, few remember those comments, and instead they only notice the posts with in them. Sometimes the INFP stereotypes around here sound more like ISFXs, because those types seem more personable and warm than most INFPs.

    Feisty and assertive sounds INFP to me . We're not wilting flowers; we have incredibly strong values that motivate us and make us take a stand and not back down.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  7. #207
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Before replying, let me take a moment to once again comment and lament on the lack of ENFJs in my life. Everything I've typed comes from the patterns I've noticed across many threads on a few forums.

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I've been reluctant to comment on the INFP/ENFJ dynamic because the thread felt a little sickly sweet to me and I didn't want to come in and foul it up, but I guess I'm over that now.
    I'm here to learn. I'm glad you shared.

    The emotional connectivity for me comes in the form that feelings don't have to be justified or rationalized they stand on their own merit.
    Ooo... very interesting. I've never considered that .

    The problem with this dynamic is we can completely coast on our respective feelings and the "feeling logic" can really get harebrained after awhile with no checks and balances. But I find that tends to happen generally with too many feelers.
    Another good insight. My upbringing forced me to develop a T side, but it still requires active effort. I am not a creature of logic, but rather call upon it when I need it to get something done. So under extreme stress, it can be difficult to call upon it.

    Of course, unless you have two undeveloped F types, I don't think it will get so bad that they delude each other and cause major damage. There ARE some healthy advantages to 'feeling logic' when used in appropriate doses.

    I don't mean to offend but the INFP males I've felt parental towards. I'm not going to deny there are some gender roles mixed up in here, but when I have the same relationship with a (INFP) female with a (INFP) male it feels like we're "girlfriends." If their Fi manifests differently I may not be recognizing some INFP males in my environment but the ones I do recognize as INFP feel cuddly to me. Now to some ENFJ females that's really appealing and cozy. But I want a partner in crime, so to speak, and I'm not really sure if an INFP male can fit that bill. I'm not looking for someone I have romantic interests in to open up and coax out of their shell. Platonically, I don't mind, but not romantically. The coaxing and drawing out part is what makes it feel parental to me. That cuddliness works well between an ENFJ male and INFP female, but not so much is what I'm looking for.
    I can certainly see how a parental aspect can develop. Of course, I have wonder if it's necessary. I imagine sometimes it can very well be, and other times not so much.

    Fe is structured to put up locks so that a relationship progresses along a linear path. We get to know each other first, we reciprocate information, we don't poke and prod until we've reached a certain point, we know where we stand in relation to each other, then after a certain point is passed, then the intimate part comes. I was watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind a few weeks ago and there was that part when Clementine took the chicken leg from Joel's plate and ate it. I thought to myself that is so Fi! She totally skipped a step.
    Yep! I've used my need for things to build up gradually to sort of emulate that Fe approach. I might skip a step when I'm really feeling it in the moment (hmm... chicken!), but while I'm waiting for that moment I slowly and gradually do things that will lead me towards it.

    I don't think this is a bad thing because sometimes Fi can speed Fe up when Fe is being detrimentally structured. Likewise, Fe can structure Fi when it's getting too far in too fast. Also I think sometimes that Fi enjoys a vicarious living through Fe. I've always had a problem with Fi being the "deep" feeling and Fe that "shallow" feeling. Fe is expressive and I think sometimes Fi likes to roll around in it when it's good and get a rise out of it when it's bad. I think Fe admires the containment and inner peace that Fi can manifest externally. It can be calming.
    Well said, and thank you for the perspective. I am definitely drawn to Fe, although it took some work on my part to understand that the breadth of warmth does not hinder its genuineness. Nor does it necessarily mean the same thing as when I show an equivalent warmth on the surface.

  8. #208
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Feisty and assertive sounds INFP to me . We're not wilting flowers; we have incredibly strong values that motivate us and make us take a stand and not back down.

  9. #209
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post

    Feisty and assertive sounds INFP to me . We're not wilting flowers; we have incredibly strong values that motivate us and make us take a stand and not back down.

    :steam:

  10. #210
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    There's a lot of INFPs here (incl. me) who like to remind people that we're not cuddly bunnies, and yes, we can do math .
    Obviously those "INFP's can't do math" people didn"t see my occasional off-topic blabbings! Personally, I've never been good at, or even really liked poetry, that oh so INFP topic. [Obviously other types are into poetry as well]

    Ooh ooh, I could try to write poetry about math, I will call it "Ode to a non-linear partial differential equation"

    "Oh Kortewig-Devries and Boussinesq equations, why did they not teach me about you in grad school? Your features are so special and exotic, and yet most people have never heard twixt nor twain of you. YOU are more fragrant than a summer's day..." Ok, I'll stop now.

    So back to INFP's + ENFJ's. Fwiw, I'll bet that the ENFJ that I know would find my above poetry funny, but for how long I'd prefer not to find out.

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