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Thread: ENFJ & INFP

  1. #191
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Uh, how can you say what this guy is going to feel?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  2. #192
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I find the things I do impress easily; hasn't helped me with love yet though.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  3. #193
    Glycerine
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    INFPs are so awesome! There is always seems to be magnetism when it comes to you guys.

  4. #194
    Senior Member Jonathanthegreat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Uh, how can you say what this guy is going to feel?
    usually when I am in the rut of sadness that her enfj is in, the girl who usually sticks around I start to like. romantic or not i think its probable that he would like her.

  5. #195
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Liking someone out of gratitude? OK.

    I'm not trying to be rude, just realistic. I've seen (and experienced) this situation dozens of times before. Thessaly this guy just got out of a relationship. Let him have some breathing room and don't get your feelings wrapped up right now. Be a comfort and a friend but I'd let my romantic hopes and dreams rest for right now. You said he's been revealing things to you and that's a good sign. You're feeling like you two are getting closer but just be careful with your heart during this period.

    I would prefer to know his feelings and romantic interests about me stem from him being truly interested in that light than from a sense of gratitude and responsibility because you helped through a break up. I'm not sure if I'm communicating what the distinction of those feelings are, but they feel a bit different to me. I can't be a judge to the substantialness of his feelings, but I don't think it would be unwise to say be a little cautious right now and understand the mechanics of getting over a break up. He's probably working through his emotions and sometimes being on the receiving end of it feels like having your chain yanked. That's why I advocate having a healthy but friendly distance as a buffer zone for yourself.

    If you feel comfortable with the progression of this relationship then by all means continue, but it seems obvious that you have doubts because you're turning to reassurance from the message board. I'm not the type of person to encourage things just because they make a person feel warm and fuzzy so I hope this won't be ill-received.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  6. #196
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    I find the things I do impress easily; hasn't helped me with love yet though.
    Remember it's who you are that impresses... what you do just adds color and sizzle. There's a big difference between 'that guy that sews' and 'that awesome guy that can sew!', if you catch my drift.

  7. #197
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Remember it's who you are that impresses... what you do just adds color and sizzle. There's a big difference between 'that guy that sews'. and 'that awesome guy that can sew!', if you catch my drift.
    Oh, my gosh, that is so true that I want to marry it and have little truth babies with it. It's very easy to make the mistake of collecting hobbies and skills in the hopes it will attract someone. I can admire someone's skills, but I'm going to fall for the person.
    Something Witty

  8. #198
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Remember it's who you are that impresses... what you do just adds color and sizzle. There's a big difference between 'that guy that sews' and 'that awesome guy that can sew!', if you catch my drift.
    Nothing attracts attention like a good act though. With out attention who's going to look at the person?
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #199
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Liking someone out of gratitude? OK.

    I'm not trying to be rude, just realistic. I've seen (and experienced) this situation dozens of times before. Thessaly this guy just got out of a relationship. Let him have some breathing room and don't get your feelings wrapped up right now. Be a comfort and a friend but I'd let my romantic hopes and dreams rest for right now. You said he's been revealing things to you and that's a good sign. You're feeling like you two are getting closer but just be careful with your heart during this period.

    I would prefer to know his feelings and romantic interests about me stem from him being truly interested in that light than from a sense of gratitude and responsibility because you helped through a break up. I'm not sure if I'm communicating what the distinction of those feelings are, but they feel a bit different to me. I can't be a judge to the substantialness of his feelings, but I don't think it would be unwise to say be a little cautious right now and understand the mechanics of getting over a break up. He's probably working through his emotions and sometimes being on the receiving end of it feels like having your chain yanked. That's why I advocate having a healthy but friendly distance as a buffer zone for yourself.

    If you feel comfortable with the progression of this relationship then by all means continue, but it seems obvious that you have doubts because you're turning to reassurance from the message board. I'm not the type of person to encourage things just because they make a person feel warm and fuzzy so I hope this won't be ill-received.

    Not ill-received at all. I think that I was the catalyst in him cutting ties with his ex and he is definitely interested in me. They've been broken up for a fairly long period of time, but my knowledge of their relationship is very very shallow. With that said he has backed off a lot so I do not know what is going on in his head (clearly I never did). I am the only one trying to initiate spending time together, although he initiates our communication. I have 0 expectations really at this point. I'm gonna leave him be and let him be the aggressor again when he's ready.

    This whole taking things slow thing is very new to me. The men I have dated have generally not promoted this concept, but I am thinking it may be a cool thing. He is a mature guy and perhaps I need to mature a bit myself about dating and not rushing in.

  10. #200
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Remember it's who you are that impresses... what you do just adds color and sizzle. There's a big difference between 'that guy that sews' and 'that awesome guy that can sew!', if you catch my drift.
    haha I liked this.

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