Dear me, Johnathon. I feel like I should have been "smarter" about my choices too, but that's impossible. My hindsight is 20/20, or at least wants me to believe that is. When I think about either of those guys, I still get a half-wild feeling deep down. I think about eNTP frequently, and the other day, for some reason, when I was on the phone with my ENTJ bff, Athena, we got on the subject of my ISTP ex, and I was describing something about him to her, and I swear I got this horrible flash of presence, like he was standing right there. I felt tears coming to my eyes and stifled them.
I know it was real, what I had with both of them, and I still look back over my shoulder wondering why it had to happen if it ended this way... I couldn't control ISTP's drug problems. I couldn't make eNTP not cave to social pressure.
Ultimately, I walked out alone.