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Thread: ENFJ & INFP

  1. #161
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    I think this is a good pairing as long as both open up. Otherwise ENFJs could be 'offended' by Ne and Fi. I think ENFJs often really can't stand much curiosity and are a little afraid others could find out things they are ashamed of. So then they think of lame excuses because I act too much like a psychologist and if I show my emotions they think they're shallow.

    ENFJs who don't open up are often drawn to ESTJs because they never make them feel uncomfortable. They won't talk much about their emotions then though.

    But in general it's a good pairing because ENFJs help INFP become more outgoing and dependable, and INFPs help ENFJ become more independent and carefree. AND they can talk about their emotions easily.

  2. #162
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Why do some people think all ENFJs want to do is talk about emotions?
    Last edited by proteanmix; 06-29-2009 at 01:46 PM. Reason: edited to make general
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  3. #163
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
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    <--Horrible at talking about my emotions but great at understanding what others are feeling.
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  4. #164
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Why do some people think all ENFJs want to do is talk about emotions?
    Same reason why some people think all INFPs are a bunch of goth/emo teenagers.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

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    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #165
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Same reason why some people think all INFPs are a bunch of goth/emo teenagers.
    hahahaha, yeah

  6. #166
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Same reason why some people think all INFPs are a bunch of goth/emo teenagers.
    Can I borrow your eyeliner?
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  7. #167
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by runvardh View Post
    Same reason why some people think all INFPs are a bunch of goth/emo teenagers.
    This is why I don't feel much allegiance to type descriptions.

    But I think this emotional connectivity or whatever works much better for male ENFJs and female INFPs.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  8. #168
    Senior Member Jonathanthegreat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JivinJeffJones View Post
    I think it'd have to have been a pretty shallow emotional commitment for a J to be able to move on quickly and be excited about it. Not the sort of guy you'd be wanting to date, I suspect. Think of it a bit like a widower who has recently lost his wife. The commitment is over, there's absolutely nothing stopping him from moving on. But it takes a period of adjustment before he'd be able to start dating again without feeling like he was cheating on his wife. To say nothing of lingering grief. Obviously that's a bit of an extreme example, but the principle is similar.

    It's been fairly extensively argued already on this forum, but I personally don't believe guys have a "friend zone" for girls they find attractive. So that's not really something you need to worry about imo.
    About ENFJ's as widowers: SO true.

    About men not having a friend zone: SOOOOOO true, in my life, I don't talk to women who I'm not somewhat attracted to. Physically or Emotionally. Period

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Self-improvement is a big driver, yes. I suppose the inability to move on is part of that action - we see something as a giant failure and spend ages trying to pick through the wreckage and make sense of it. Probably a compulsion that may never find it's way to the nearest exit.

    I'm a little embarrassed to say that it took years for me to get over my eNTP and ISTP. I would sit around rationalizing what happened, trying to make it hurt less, trying to assign blame or praise to where it made the most "sense". I went out with another guy knowing deep down I was still hung up on the ISTP and it really took a toll on me. The more I was trying to put myself out there, thinking I was being stupid and needed to just "get over it", the more I resented anyone touching me, looking at me, being anywhere near me in a romantic manner because they weren't HIM. In fact, it was a long conversation I had with the eNTP that brought me around finally. I was able to move on from there, and had something amazing with the eNTP.

    Granted, it took me a long to get over him, too.



    Yeah. Not cool. He shouldn't be doing that.
    God KILL ME NOW. I am just like that. I still get upset about a failed attempt I made, I look back on it now and I just think I'm an idiot for letting it happen the way it did. Only thing it taught me was to not give my heart to anyone unless I'm 100% sure I want it/it would be reciprocated.

    again ugh all i feel like is this when I look back on it. Mine was an estp. Part of me still thinks I can make it happen.


    Kill me.

  9. #169
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    This is why I don't feel much allegiance to type descriptions.

    But I think this emotional connectivity or whatever works much better for male ENFJs and female INFPs.
    Interesting how that is. I was pondering it myself.

    Then again, if you're Johnny Depp, come on over.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #170
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Can I borrow your eyeliner?
    Sure, once I find one of my 23 bottles lying around here... I think that's how many I have, I'd hate to have to drop by the drug store again.

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    This is why I don't feel much allegiance to type descriptions.

    But I think this emotional connectivity or whatever works much better for male ENFJs and female INFPs.
    Well, we have to be careful in recognizing the difference between type descriptions and type descriptive opinions. As for the emotional connectivity thing, I can see that; I'm more after someone who can level with me instead as I hate having to be the only sane one in the relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    Interesting how that is. I was pondering it myself.

    Then again, if you're Johnny Depp, come on over.
    Yeah, it sucks being F and not a pretty boy. *sigh*
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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