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Thread: ENFJ & INFP

  1. #121
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I would say Fi is like a wound, and a bandage must be slapped on in order to function in everyday life and keep stuff from oozing out. If we think someone can heal the wound, them we may open it up to them. Ultimately, we must heal and be healed. Hence, being called "Healers".

    EDIT: Maybe you're just a lot more well-adjusted than some of us Scott
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  2. #122
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I would say Fi is like a wound, and a bandage must be slapped on in order to function in everyday life and keep stuff from oozing out. If we think someone can heal the wound, them we may open it up to them. Ultimately, we must heal and be healed. Hence, being called "Healers".

    EDIT: Maybe you're just a lot more well-adjusted than some of us Scott
    According to Apple, it is no miracle that people tell me(us) that they have been raped by their uncle or that they are having trouble in the sack or have a terminal/disease within the first meeting.

    Here is my wound, healed. Show me yours. We can connect.
    I N V I C T U S

  3. #123
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I would say Fi is like a wound, and a bandage must be slapped on in order to function in everyday life and keep stuff from oozing out. If we think someone can heal the wound, them we may open it up to them. Ultimately, we must heal and be healed. Hence, being called "Healers".

    EDIT: Maybe you're just a lot more well-adjusted than some of us Scott
    If by well-adjusted you mean "having spent like 7 years in physics grad school", hmm, where is that "committing suicide" smiley when you need it???

    Actually, I think its very funny, I've spent the vast majority of my life in VERY non-NFP environments: around the military, wanting to join the military, combative martial arts training, working for the government, research physicist, engineer. I feel like I'm the *posterchild* of what INFP's are NOT supposed to do in their lives... I have been described as "tough" by a lot of people though...Hee hee hee, INFP warriors baby! Take that Rambo! The thing is, when your doing those things above you understand WHY INFP's are not supposed to generally do them. Simply put, its in your face every moment of everyday of your life why INFP's generally aren't supposed to do those things. That's tough, that sucks, yeah real bad.

    I'd guess that for a lot of INFP's its more an issue of feeling comfortable as opposed to being well-adjusted. I could be wrong though. I think a lot of external situations and/or people make us feel uncomfortable, as opposed to simply feeling uncomfortable on the inside.

    Hmmm, I can't say that I've ever heard of Fi being described as a "wound" before...

    Maybe this will be inspiring: In Lenore Thomson's Personality Type [REALLY good book, VERY in depth and informative and thought-provoking], in the INFP section she says "[INFP's] realize that being responsible to their values isn't about fighting what exists; it's about building, recognizing that they can do things, want to do things, that might not even occur to others." See your Fi as the strength/potential that it is, not as a weakness or a "wound" that needs to be covered up. To me, an "INFP warrior" is someone that has the strength/commitment to give expression or bring into the world what they have within themself. People like our Fi, and our Ne, we just have to remember to feel comfortable and/or courageous enough to actually do so. Note: not everyone likes our Fi and Ne, but those people are probably jackasses anyways ['represses painful memories']

    Back to our [potential] relationships with ENFJ's though

  4. #124
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    So, ENFJ's where can we find you??? Other than the gym and whatever else JtG mentioned. Actually a lot of places are just NF in general, so many of the INFP places would also be ENFJ places: museums, plays, spiritual groups, volunteering, environmentalism, libraries, chatting at coffee shops, etc

    Actually, I read, I think on this forum, "you don't have to find ENF[J's], they will find you!" Whoever posted that probably didn't realize that that would require that us INFP's be in the same place as the afore-mentioned ENF[J's], which would require that we leave our houses, which is apparently frequently rather iffy...

  5. #125
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    INFP's and ENFJ's are both very good "healers" if you will. Both of others, and to an extent, of themselves. Well, hold on I'd better double check, ENFJ's can you "heal" yourselves? But, when either type finds a hurt/wound within themselves that they can't fix themselves, then they are pretty much like "Great, well now who is gonna heal ME?" Which is part of why we are great for each other, cuz we can each heal the other, including of stuff that we apparently can't really heal ourselves.

  6. #126
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post

    EDIT: Maybe you're just a lot more well-adjusted than some of us Scott
    Dude, it sounds like Thursday has got it going on!

  7. #127
    Senior Member Scott N Denver's Avatar
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    OA: paraphrasing something I read somewhere: "At their best, INFP's live their life in such a way so as to make "the real world" more like that imaginary-daydreamy-utopian-wonderland-idealized vision in their Fi heads, and they succeed."

    Go us!

  8. #128
    Senior Member SurlyAdam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I would say Fi is like a wound, and a bandage must be slapped on in order to function in everyday life and keep stuff from oozing out. If we think someone can heal the wound, them we may open it up to them. Ultimately, we must heal and be healed. Hence, being called "Healers".
    I think that's you describing your own view on life more than the function of Fi.

    The simplest description I've found to explain Fi is that its use is like cooking without a recipe. You know based on experience what ingredients to add, how much, and adjust as you go based on what you're getting and what you want. It is very subjective and you "just know" when you're on the right track.

    I was surprised to learn how few people are governed by Fi, because I've used it my entire life. It was only recently that I discovered how foreign it is for people to trust their intuition and make decisions based on what they want. Every major life decision I've made was based on what made sense to me, for me, and "felt right." I even use it when deciding which route to take to work, and most efficient will only win if I am late.

    I see Fi as inspiration.


    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    OA: paraphrasing something I read somewhere: "At their best, INFP's live their life in such a way so as to make "the real world" more like that imaginary-day-dreamy-Utopian-wonderland-idealized vision in their Fi heads, and they succeed."

    Go us!
    An INFP can be very inspiring, as they concentrate on what's possible instead of dwelling on the current situation. Fi allows us to follow the freedom of our hearts' desires; Ne allows us to see the possibilities; and Si gives us the knowledge of experience. All of this will only work if we trust ourselves though, which takes a lot of courage, or encouragement.

    Going back to the topic of the post: The ENFJ is very encourageing of the dreamy, inspired nature of the INFP. And the INFP in turn helps the ENFJ believe in themself and their vision of what they want to make happen, and helps them find a way to make it happen. It's a very supportive relationship, where each tirelessly supports the other.

  9. #129
    Senior Member The Grand Chameleon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott N Denver View Post
    Actually, I read, I think on this forum, "you don't have to find ENF[J's], they will find you!" Whoever posted that probably didn't realize that that would require that us INFP's be in the same place as the afore-mentioned ENF[J's], which would require that we leave our houses, which is apparently frequently rather iffy...
    Flash them pearly whites just once, and that's the "go" sign for us. Wherever that might be.
    "In the game of chess, you can never let your opponent see your pieces."

  10. #130
    Glycerine
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    I think INFP and ENFJ may work great. I always seem to open up more with INFPs than any other type and I try to encourage them and make them emotionally safe. I have known many INFPs IRL and we usually get along really well. If I am a real ENFJ, my Fe doesn't really clash with Fi but more or less tends to complement.

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