One thing I think I see differently here is that I think how we present ourselves socially is part of our true selves. It's not an act. Everyone wears social masks to one extent or another; ours are just a little more difficult to see behind, but it is still who we are.
If someone were trying to get me to open up more, they would have to show that they were truly interested in who I am, and they would have to be trustworthy. And it would take time and the other person opening up first, thus demonstrating interest and emotional investment. It might not hurt to verbalize your desire to get to know her in some gentle kind of way, either.
Noz: - we're not trying to be mean!