[NF] How does unresolved conflict affect you?

[Nijntje]

I should clarify that I can get over personal, unresolved conflicts as long as I no longer have to deal with that person much. If it's just a dislike on both sides, then I can ignore it pretty easily. It may bother me at first if I feel a a sense of injustice, but I will calm down quickly. Maybe if I run into them I will feel some discomfort, but otherwise, I cannot control everything, and so I put it out of mind.

However, there are some conflicts that cannot be avoided and must be dealt with head on. Let's say you're going through a divorce (which I am not, haha), then you have to resolve certain things legally. It must be taken care of. During that time when things have yet to be resolved, I can only imagine the anxiety.

I'm in the process of closing some matters and it's a massive headache. I know I will not resolve the personal conflict, and I don't care, but it's just getting to the point where I don't have to deal with this person anymore.

I've had to do that and once i no longer had to deal with the person anymore the sense of anxiety and physical sickness which would accompany the thought of and actual physical interactions with them stopped as i knew i had done everything i possibly could to resolve it...

However i have some family stuff which is and will forever be unresolved as to try and resolve it would serve no other purpose than to upset my mother, and wouldn't actually fix what happened and how i still feel about it all. There are certain things now that a person is no longer in her and my life that i no longer have to deal with so it just gets pushed aside... however it does sometimes rear its ugly had in nightmare/dream form where i semi resolve the issue and wake up feeling like i'm emotionally exhausted and haven't slept at all... had one last night...

 

[Wyst]

Unresolved conflict is really disconcerting to me, especially if there is no possible outlet to deal with it proactively. It makes me restless and I don't sleep or eat well. I feel physically sick to my stomach and I need to be physically distant for quite awhile to actually detach myself from it. I wonder how it works for other types. Perhaps it is an F thing. Or an NF thing. Or maybe just INFJ.

About the worst thing another person could do is to ignore verbal or written attempts to get enough information to shed light on the problem or to resolve it.

It all depends on with whom the conflict is.
There are people that aren't included in the group of people I especially care out. With those people, if there's conflict and it goes unresolved.... who cares?

If the conflict happens between myself and someone who I care about, respect, love... then yes, it does bother me and I'm always really quick to roll over and smooth things over.

 

[BlueScreen]

Unresolved conflict is really disconcerting to me, especially if there is no possible outlet to deal with it proactively. It makes me restless and I don't sleep or eat well. I feel physically sick to my stomach and I need to be physically distant for quite awhile to actually detach myself from it. I wonder how it works for other types. Perhaps it is an F thing. Or an NF thing. Or maybe just INFJ.

About the worst thing another person could do is to ignore verbal or written attempts to get enough information to shed light on the problem or to resolve it.

I really dislike unresolved conflict. I can't concentrate, and it keeps coming to the front of my mind. I actually do similar to you. I have more executioner in me as I get older though.

 

[The Grand Chameleon]

Closure is vital in conflicts. I will not rest until harmony has been reached. Unless my opposing party is intentionally attempting to harm my character or is knowingly throwing my world into disarray. Then I will not hesitate to take away all value that person or the situation had.

 

[moonlit_reveries]

I don't handle it very gracefully at all, especially when it's between me and someone really close. I don't handle silence and distance with unresolved conflicts well at all. Those usually keep me up all night, when it's between me and someone close.
It feels like a festering wound that needs air and needs to be dealt with. It's never going to really heal if it stays under a band-aide forever. I'd prefer to talk it out and put everything on the table and restore the good rapport I had before the conflict as soon as possible. I know discussing uncomfortable feelings isn't easy but I'd rather go through that and whatever intensity comes along with being open. It's must better than conflicted silence.
That said, I could stand to be more understanding of people need time to cool of or sort through feelings. Even though this is not really my style, I can see where they are coming from and should respect their conflict management style as well. I'll be happy as long as it gets resolved fairly quickly.

 

[Ruthie]

It bothers the dickens out of me. It must be resolved. I think it's a xNxJ thing.

Yup. Very true. I don't have a problem with conflict, but the whole point of conflict is to reach resolution.