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View Poll Results: Do you overthink/try to hard to start a relationship?

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  • Yes, I probably am too obsessive about it.

    19 65.52%
  • No, I just roll with the punches. What happens happens.

    6 20.69%
  • Not sure.

    6 20.69%
  • I see dead people.

    6 20.69%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Results 11 to 20 of 24

  1. #11
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyst View Post
    I'm curious if more people tend to overthink things with regard to starting a relationship.

    Do you think, plan, strategize and scheme?

    or

    Do you just wake up one day and realize you're in a relationship with even having tried to get in one?
    Only if there is/are candidate(s) in reality...then, will I think of it.

    First thought, what vibe do I get from this person? If I get a 'good person' vibe, they're in, otherwise, outta sight outta mind.

    And, then, I just let whatever happens happen...and the things that I overthink about are instances/situations that somehow struck a chord, something was amiss, something was said but not fully understood...and then I'll mull over and over the possibilities of 'meanings' for them.

    But, yeah, my overthinking when it comes to relationships always needs that reality-based trigger, be it a potential person, then, an action of theirs, or an interaction of ours.

    I rarely dabble in 'what ifs'...of the imaginary kind when it comes to relationships. I rather dissect what is.

  2. #12

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    I usually overthink myself into inaction.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  3. #13
    Self sustaining supernova Zoom's Avatar
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    At the beginning, in all honesty it's normally the other person who initiates it. I have a tendency to develop my rare hardcore attractions to people I share passions with and whatnot... which means they are a TA who is off-limits, or some other form of "Silentium no touchy". (I should probably work on that. )

    I believe one definitely can overthink it, whether it be what Eff spoke of or another variety, such as when one thinks of as many possibilities (of what they should/could do) as they can to try and work through a problem, end up with an overwhelming view that is hard to focus in on.

    Especially when other people are giving you 'advice'.

    When other people bring up negative hypothetical possibilities for my own situation, past a certain point it just muddies the waters and makes me more anxious.

    So I think that at certain points one has to stop analyzing and thinking and simply take action. Figure out what you want - or think you want - and go for it.

  4. #14
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    A true test for a strong bond for me is when I get into a relationship- if we can sit there and have fun out of nothing.. we can talk about anything and everything with each other and just 'enjoy' each other's company.

    I enter relationships with the intent of just having fun. If things works out, then great. I think when I can go with the flow and we just 'click' like that, it doesn't matter what we do/say.. we're just into it.

    I think the key thing is to be honest with ourselves, and let it be..

  5. #15
    Senior Member stigmatica's Avatar
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    I have a bad habit of taking offense to being misunderstood, which probably derails a lot of relationships, no matter the level of relationship desired. This is only compounded by the fact that I'm probably one of the most misunderstood individuals on the face of the planet, hence all the X's in my MBTI type.

    In other words, I just end up either scaring people off, or inviting them too close without ever meaning to. When it happens, I try to rectify the situation with further communication, which just ends up digging the hole even deeper. Eventually, I'll just come out and say "this is who I am, and this is what I want", but then everyone starts looking for small print and hidden meaning, cause it's usually there in what I say, so when I speak plainly, it gets scrambled and dissected into something else.

    A withdrawal into extreme introverted behavior can sometimes occur as a result. My way of avoiding the social shackles I tend to create in my extreme extroverted phases. Every once in a while, someone manages to survive this roller coaster ride, and then I have a true friend, acquaintance, whatever...

    Or, maybe I'm just over thinking all this

    Edit: Oh, and I chose "I see dead people" because it seemed to be the "cool people" option so often required over on INTPc for anyone to make a choice. I figured I'd try on the "cool people" option and see how it fit.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyst View Post
    I was just being random
    Everytime a J tries to be random he becomes completely misunderstood.

  7. #17
    Senior Member stigmatica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    Everytime a J tries to be random he becomes completely misunderstood.
    Do what? Couldn't understand you, Chloee... a bit too random, I think.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stigmatica View Post
    Do what? Couldn't understand you, Chloee... a bit too random, I think.
    Everytime a J tries to be random - it doesn't finish well, I'm afraid.

    you really didn't understand my poetic English, or you are fucking me, poor Cinderella?

  9. #19
    Senior Member stigmatica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chloee View Post
    Everytime a J tries to be random - it doesn't finish well, I'm afraid.

    you really didn't understand my poetic English, or you are fucking me, poor Cinderella?
    Case and point!

    You always make me laugh, Chloee

    I was trying to be funny, and perhaps fucking WITH you I'm thinking I'd have remembered had I been fucking you, though

  10. #20
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stigmatica View Post
    I was trying to be funny, and perhaps fucking WITH you I'm thinking I'd have remembered had I been fucking you, though
    you don't remember because I was dressed like this, and not like in my avatar;my everyday life work clothes.
    as a matter fact i think you're still hiding under that ball dress

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