[ENFP] ENFPs - Do you get...

[CzeCze]

PS Though I do get outraged when people try to get out of paying for reasonable amounts that go towards covering the expense of just putting on an event (not even going towards a surplus for donation) - that they can clearly afford. Or wants to bootleg the CD of an independent artist who sells the CDs themselves after shows. You really are steaing from that artist and they will feel that $5 or $8 or $10 that you are depriving them of.

Some people are just really cheap. And that's the truth.

I also remember my friend who was eligible to register to vote in DC - which is rare - turned down the pleadings of a door-to-door canvasser who wanted her to register so she could vote for someone in the Council Ward elections. She is all about community organizing etc. And she refused to even register to vote in DC. When I asked her why, she said she didnt' want to get called to jury duty.

I was floored. I thought that was honestly a really lame and selfish answer that went counter to all the ideals about "direct action" and making a difference in the community that she was supposedly all about.

 

[Goatman455]

...angry and manipulative when people don't do something that you believe to be a good cause?

I've got a best mate who's an audio-visual wizard. I'm working with someone on organising a massive fundraiser for CF (which he has) and want to arrange a massive music event for it.

I've asked my friend to do either the audio or visual and his reaction was 'well I might have paid work on, so may not be able to do it...'

This blew my top...I actually told him if he didn't think charity work was more important than what the f**k is the point of doing any work? We should be putting our skills to good use, not thinking about money all the time. This is a one off gig and you're more worried about getting paid? You're a selfish **** for thinking that way, I can't believe you!!!

He's not too happy with me but said he'll do it IF he's not working.

Do any other ENFPs get like this? I really did lose it...to me, charity does take precedence, I'm only asking for a small amount of his time and I'm surprised at his lack of concern. He's one of my best friends because he is so morally upright, this is out of character for him and I'm not impressed. :S I probably shouldn't have lost it though, he's right to have the choice and say no, but I really thought he'd care...

Yeah, it is because of our understanding that the world CAN work better if everyone thinks about each other. It is our sense of the big picture, and how things connect, which seem so clear to us sometimes. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be happening at the current time, as we have cultures and economic systems based on mutual selfishness.


I don't get upset for people trying to survive. That survival instinct can cause selfishness in people, and if you are the kind of person who can rise above that, more power to you, but don't get upset at other people's weaknesses.

Can you blame people when we grow up in a country (at least in the USA) where it is taught that the most important things in life are making a living for yourself by making money? Get a good job, rise up through the ranks, settle down and have a family. None of these things involve giving a crap about anyone outside your tight circle.

It is a common problem I see with many great people, many ethically awesome people, they only really care about those close to them. Now, it is impossible for us to feel empathy for the whole world all the time, it would overload us (imagine if someone died across the world and you felt the same as if it was someone close to you) but to not think about how we are impacting these people in a big picture sense is a mistake.

My advice, next time this happens keep control and tell your friend properly how you really feel. He will be more receptive that way.

 

[SillySapienne]

I'm anti-psychological manipulation. I do not enjoy being manipulated, nor would I ever engage in the act of it, ew, no thanks.

 

[Goatman455]

I'm anti-psychological manipulation. I do not enjoy being manipulated, nor would I ever engage in the act of it, ew, no thanks.

Yeah, agreed, this is something more common to some personality types. I think ENFJ is far more likely to use the tactic, while ENFP usually finds it a horrible thought. IMO, this is a BIG difference and point of contention between many ExxPs and ExxJs, especially ENFJs and ENFPs. Also, when we talk manipulation, being polite is not manipulating. Saying something with the intention of getting someone to act a certain way before directly asking them what you want is manipulation.

That said, sometimes (rarely) you gotta fight fire with fire.