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  1. #1
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    Default INFJ cried during sex

    I am currently dating an INFJ for the last 6 months. Pretty intense individual. We've been pretty intimate ever since the beginning of the relationship, but recently we've been somewhat distant. The other day while we're together she cried right in the middle of sex! Nothing due to the physical nature. When I asked her what was wrong, she looked down and more tears started flowing. Weird thing is, I see two sides to her. One on one, she comes across super sweet and highly emotional (she cries easily). When she hangs around others, I see more of a cold individual. Our communication basically revolves around texting constantly, so its hard to know what is exactly on her mind. An hour after this incident, I get a text message from her stating, "I do love u. And I know all sorts of crazy things r going thru your head. Honestly its nothing u did. Sorry for being a baby." Is this common among INFJs? Is she guilty about something?

  2. #2
    heart on fire
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    It happened to me too, but it was just the sequins stabbing his chest...

  3. #3
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    With an INFJ you always gotta be strong for two and never ask why she did a thing you didnt understand, wait for her to tell you and think yourself the most reasonable explanation to a thing.

    My INFJ left me on the first date, while I went to the bathroom. I never called again. She then did.

    I dont know the perfect way to deal with them, but I know they need a lot of space. And as a Thinking type you are predestined to give that to them. If it pays off or not, is your risk.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #4
    Senior Member Nonsensical's Avatar
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    Awh, that's sad

    Although it's probably not bad, it is still a little sad to hear. Don't worry, man, it's nothing you did or anything. I've dated an INFJ and gotten to know them pretty well. It's probably due to some internal conflict she's having, could be with friends, family, or something of a deeper level, like a personality or emotional dispute. As long as you are there for her, and she says she loves you, she will always come back to you, as you are her escape. I don't mean your her last resort or anything, but you're probably one of the few things she holds close to her, and the INF leads to deep love she probably shares with you.

    If I was you, I'd sit down with her sometime, unplanned, and just mention it and try to understand her problem. Care about what she has to say, and she'll open up more and more until you find out.

    Good luck! Hope she resolves her problem.
    Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way?

  5. #5
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Oh my....I have totally cried during sex. I was in love and the guy was moving away and we couldn't see each other again. I was heart broken and it was just a sweet sweet moment. Looking back now though I would never cry during sex again lol bad....just bad.

  6. #6
    Senior Member amelie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pubcrawl View Post
    I am currently dating an INFJ for the last 6 months. Pretty intense individual. We've been pretty intimate ever since the beginning of the relationship, but recently we've been somewhat distant. The other day while we're together she cried right in the middle of sex! Nothing due to the physical nature. When I asked her what was wrong, she looked down and more tears started flowing. Weird thing is, I see two sides to her. One on one, she comes across super sweet and highly emotional (she cries easily). When she hangs around others, I see more of a cold individual. Our communication basically revolves around texting constantly, so its hard to know what is exactly on her mind. An hour after this incident, I get a text message from her stating, "I do love u. And I know all sorts of crazy things r going thru your head. Honestly its nothing u did. Sorry for being a baby." Is this common among INFJs? Is she guilty about something?
    No, no, not guilty. When that's happened to me, it was because I was experiencing overwhelming emotions. Sex for INFJ's is often highly emotionally charged and transcendent. It's a compliment; she's probably in love with you and maybe it terrifies her at the same time. This might be particularly true if you've been distant lately. Of course, the only way to know is to ask her, and if you want to get to the truth of what's going on, you have to let her know she's safe first and that you most definitely do not perceive her as being a baby. She's probably embarrassed.

    I think INFJ's can come across as aloof with people they don't know well, which seems to be what you are describing. I think it partially depends on how introverted the particular person is; some of us can seem outgoing because when we do interact with people we don't know deeply, we try and put people at ease. The texting thing also makes sense to me. I like to communicate with people over E-mail because I can think about my response and edit it first - texting would do the same.

    Bottom line, it sounds like to me she may feel vulnerable to you, and is trying to figure out whether to open up more and whether she's safe. I'm just guessing, though - that's kind of a lot to extrapolate from a paragraph on the internet.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Nillerz's Avatar
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    reminds me of the last INFP I dated. She didn't cry during sex but she would constantly be real mopey-like and distant. She seemed to think things were way more intense than they were.

  8. #8
    12 and a half weeks BerberElla's Avatar
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    I cried once during a really intense orgasm. I really have no idea why it happened lol and when he asked me what was wrong I was really embarrassed because nothing was wrong, it was just the most awesome, most beautiful orgasm I have ever had.

    It was mind blowing.

    Wow, just thinking about it now makes me want to cry.
    Echo - "So are you trying to say she is Evil"

    DeWitt - "Something far worse, she's an Idealist"

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  9. #9
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    i cried when i was 17. because i didnt love him any more (never?) so i figured that during sex, ... because having sex with him became depressing.
    but i was also a teenager so .... maybe its just because of that. i cried on Nirvana's songs back then, so I'm no good measure at all.

    I guess this INFJ from OP cried about something not related to you, pubcrawl. don't worry about it too much.

  10. #10
    Wild Card Atomic Fiend's Avatar
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    An INFJ friend of mine said she cried during her first time, but that may be for an entirely different reason then OPs INFJ.

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