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  1. #1
    Senior Member Pseudonym_Alpha's Avatar
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    Default Drowning inside the mythical mind of an INTP

    It has consumed me! i wish to learn more! more i say!

    next question pertains to INTPs social behaviour as far as school life would go

    would they prefer to have sponateous things sort of parsed to them, or something more obvious? in the sense of being there for them, i noticed that they dont like planning things much

  2. #2
    Senior Member Bushranger's Avatar
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    Sponateous things can sometimes be difficult to parse, you may need to clarify your post.

    INTPs can be happy with planning, what they tend to dislike is the removal of possible options. They don't like to be limited to a narrow group of actions or choices.

    There are two styles of planning
    Planning by contingency:
    The future is a tree of possibilities, don't prune them too early.
    I might go into the city tonight. If I do then I might catch a movie if I like what is showing. Else I may just grab a coffee or walk along the riverside.

    Planning by prescription:
    The future is something I've got nailed down so that it won't surprise me.
    Tomorrow I'm going into the city to see the 6:30 session of "Die Hard 4.5, with a space shuttle".

    Planning by contingency is generally more acceptable to INTPs. Too much planning can be seen as limiting or denying the potential possibilities available.

    INTPs can also resist spontaneous choices heaped upon them simply because they have not had time to analyze the idea and determine whether they like it or not. If you want to do something with them, give them prior warning (suggest it as a possibility) and you may find them more amenable to the idea when the time comes around.

    I do not understand exactly what your question has to do with school life. What kind of "being there for them" are you referring to?
    I'll get you my pretty, and your little hermit crab too!

  3. #3
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pseudonym_Alpha View Post
    It has consumed me! I wish to learn more! More I say!
    Well, what can I say? I guess their analyzing is tantalizing.
    My next question pertains to INTPs social behavior as far as school life would go:
    INTP social behavior? Are you sure that isn't an oxymoron?

    Would they prefer to have spontaneous things posed to them, or something more obvious? In the sense of being there for them, I noticed that they don't like planning things much
    Well, kidding aside, INTP's don't like to feel constrained to a choice (especially a social/emotional one), as Bushranger pointed out, but want to keep their possibilities open. I guess what you should do is spend time with them, ask what they feel like doing at the moment, and then try to be flexible about when and how you do it, and even be willing to change your plans on a last minute whim. I'm not sure really, I don't know any INTP's in real life.

    I fixed your spelling/grammar errors for you, by the way.

  4. #4
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Avoid putting them in a way of emotional/social obligations(Fe), by all means necessary. So in that respect, yes spontaneity is a good thing. Though again, Fe is a left-brained function. For this reason INTPs dont do well with emotional improvisation. Avoid putting them on EFPish emotional roller coasters. Emoting gradually will be important and easy for you to do as an INFJ.

    Honesty and clarity are paramount. Make sure you make it obvious that you're honest, direct communication would be very helpful. Clarity is important because INTPs have an intense need for logical order, that in combination with their FJish approach to personal matters may make them quite allergic to ambivalent and ambiguous behavior in person-centered situations.

    Give a lot of space. Allow for them to initiate personal discussions, yet keep yourself as open as possible. You're just going to have to be patient with their slowly elevating Extroverted Feeling. This will be taxing on your resources, yet almost certainly, allowing for them to be as private and slow to emote will be profusely rewarded in the long run.

    Once more, autonomy also tends to be central to their values. Make extra sure that you keep your J from becoming imposing. Keep in mind that whatever decision they will make, must be guided only by their thinking and assessed on impersonal criteria. Suggesting that this be done otherwise will necessarily be met with stubborn resistance.

    If they get on your nerves, dont be afraid to confront them, even if you be tactless about, this is unlikely to damage your relationship. They are unlikely to take that personally, and on the contrary will have more confidence in your honesty as this will foster direct communication, as aforementioned tends to be of very high value to INTPs.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

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  5. #5
    Senior Member Pseudonym_Alpha's Avatar
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    Thanks athenian for the grammatical corrections

    I'm usually pretty good when it comes to grammar, I'm more academic than scientific.

    However you did answer my question.

    Bushranger: In reference to my quote about being there for them, as in emotionally there for them, but trying my hardest not to act like im clingy around them, because i've noticed they tend to feel trapped if I do so.

  6. #6
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bushranger View Post
    Sponateous things can sometimes be difficult to parse, you may need to clarify your post.

    INTPs can be happy with planning, what they tend to dislike is the removal of possible options. They don't like to be limited to a narrow group of actions or choices.
    Very nice post, it clarified what I was thinking but just did not know how to express. I have been long stymied because I consider myself a spontaneous person, yet often feel stifled by other people's spontaneity. And it matches what you said.

    I'm spontaneous because I don't want to lose options -- so I enter situations without over-commitment to a course of action, so I can feel them out and decide as I go what the "best thing to do" is.

    And yet I can seem unspontaneous when other people are ones being spontaneous and thus confining my own choices by suddenly telling me what I am going to be doing. I do so much better if I get warning ahead of time that the possibility exists that things might change. That makes all the difference, sometimes -- that I'm warned of the possibility ahead of time.

    (Occasionally I do like preplanning something specific ahead of time, if it is something important that is on a time schedule -- like a particular movie showing, etc.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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