I dated an ESTJ for several years who didn't like it when I wrote him a note saying all the things I liked about him, or if we had an especially good weekend or he did something really nice for me etc and I wrote him. He would never acknowledge that he even got anything and he later told me (during a heated exchange) it made him feel "very awkward" because he didn't know what to say. And although he did value many things about me, he found it awkward to know how to say those things. After awhile, I felt rejected and quit expressing appreciation as often.
I realized a couple of things later. I can give compliments and thank yous in person like "I really like your dress" or "Good job on that paper" etc, but if it something more involved than that, or that includes personal characteristics, I would likely write it. That is because I would be pleased if someone were to do that for me, it would avoid the embarrassment of face to face responding, and it would be something I could look back and on reread when I needed a pick-me-up. I also am likely to say more in writing than I would face to face.
On this forum, I was discussing with an ESTJ what she would prefer to be complimented on and also in what form. She said that in writing would seem far too much like the other person is pouring their soul out and also that things like reliability, consistency etc would by far be the qualities that would make her happiest to be complimented on. As a teacher, it is interesting to see how each of the four types really prefer different kinds of compliments and in different forms.
So here are my questions. Answer whichever you like and let this thread go whichever direction it will.
1. NFs generally do like to show their appreciation. Does it take different forms depending on which kind of NF you are? Do you compliment in person or on paper or both?
2. As an NF, what would be the best type of compliment to you and in what form would you like to receive it?
3. Do you consider MBTI type when you give someone a compliment? I haven't too much in the past, but think it's worth looking into.
4. Do you feel comfortable accepting compliments? Would you prefer them on paper or in person?
5. What types do you think shy away from open emotion the most?