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  1. #11
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    I've backed off from saying much, though I try to avoid the falling in love part. I can easily find a girl who is interesting enough to get to know, but some circumstances make the idea of a relationship improbable. More often I try to just push the ideas away since incubation is just another form of self torture.
    Dreams are best served manifest and tangible.

    INFP, 6w7, IEI

    I accept no responsibility, what so ever, for the fact that I exist; I do, however, accept full responsibility for what I do while I exist.

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  2. #12
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    I have a problem expressing love for people.
    I rarely tell people how I feel unless they do so first.
    Not an NF though

  3. #13
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    The story of my life
    The more I care about someone, the harder I find it to tell them
    I don't think I've ever told a guy when I really, really liked him. I can't say I've ever actually been in love, but I tend to run away from it.
    The limerance thing is something I fall easily into also...

    My ESFP sister, my ENFx friends, the ISxJs I know...these people seem incapable of keeping their feelings to themselves, at whatever the cost.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #14
    Senior Member GinKuusouka's Avatar
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    I've noticed that I either go for all or nothing when expressing my emotions. It's hard for me to be in the middle. I've suffered a lot of rejection, but I know that each case has been a learning point. I still have troubles finding a middle ground. But that's just my own personality.
    I have no idea who I am. All I can say is let's rock hard.

  5. #15
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    I have refrained from expressing my emotions if I thought that it would destroy a friendship. Generally, I try not to express those types of emotions often. But, dating lots of men and being self-destructive was never my thing. I prefer to be reserved and not easily swayed. To be bluntly honest, sometimes it's easier to just say nothing. I don't go around sharing my thoughts with many people nor do I make them obvious. It's not really anyone's business.
    Last edited by Oddly Refined; 06-18-2009 at 09:56 PM.

  6. #16
    Senior Member ENFJ_Catholic's Avatar
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    As the years have gone by... I've become more and more expressive in my love for others. It becomes a question of when to state it though... and sometimes there's a bit of remorse for stating it "too soon."

    Above all I don't want to hurt the state of growth of a relationship. It must be done "right."

    I dislike falling for images...I fall in love with people. (That's not a type-thing...)
    "In the end it is not a matter of reason; it is a matter of love." - St. Thomas More

  7. #17
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    I usually fall for girls, admire them some time (usually less than a month), and then I decide whether to tell them or not. Mostly I don't. But when I do, they always say no, lol. But usually I don't tell those who I 'love' more because always bad things happen to me and I don't wanna 'lose' them. I mean girls in my age are basically afraid of boys loving them, lol.

  8. #18
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    this thread is REALLY interesting

    i think it might have something to do with the reaction of the other person and insecurities that come with diving into a relationship

    no i dont mean getting rejected although that IS somewhere on the list. i mean that getting into a relationship, you will basically have to open up your entire life, the small little things that only you know about to the other person.

  9. #19
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    As an NF, I can only speak for myself. Can't say if you could call this kind of behaviour a special NF-thing. I have certainly had these kinds of "love-affairs" before. Looking back, I can't really call it "love". Temporary obsession, maybe. Whatever reasons other people have had doing this silent loving, mine has always been self-preservation. Avoiding being hurt. It is like calculating the risks which option would be more harmful - keeping it silent or letting the person know. So far, I have opted for silence. I guess, I haven't really loved anybody like that before.
    For me, it's not actually idealizing the other person, it's more like imagining what it would be like to be with them if they felt the same. It has always been a kind of warm feeling that makes you want to wake up in the morning and wait for the moment you finally see that person. I guess I have managed to keep it under control and not let myself be too obsessed by this feeling. It has never been this overwhelming need to possess the person. Thus, the feelings have passed. So far. I have always felt that I'm wasting my own time and cheating myself out of an opportunity to experience the real thing, instead of some illusion I have created for myself.

  10. #20
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    That could be a problem as well: when can you call something love? When you're dating for a while? After you have slept together for the first time? When you're married for twenty years? Where does an obession stop and where does love begin? After some period of time, after you've done something or when you're just willing to do everything to make your loved one happy, even if it means that you have to suffer or never see him again? It's a little confusing. Maybe NFs think they love someone quicker than any other type?
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
    - George W. Bush -


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