[MBTI General] Key to winning a woman's heart?

[Jonathanthegreat]

Is it persistence in pursuing? Basically just showing her that you'll care for her FOREVER, and won't stop. unless she's married of course.I read everywhere that persistence is key to success to a lot of things. Any mature women who would like to comment on this subject matter, that would be awesome. Give me your insight!!!

 

[OrangeAppled]

This is so ENFJ....hahaha

I could see myself being worn down by someone. I know couples that ended up (happily!) together because the guy was quietly persistent.

 

[Tallulah]

Persistence only works with a specific type of woman. It's too easy to come off as desperate or creepy.

 

[simulatedworld]

Word, if you ask her straightforwardly and honestly if pursuing her is a waste of your time, and she says yes, let it go.

The whole "I'll gradually convince her by showing what a great guy I am!" romantic ideal is...kind of idealistic. It doesn't usually work that way. If you're not the kind of guy she's into, then you're not, and there's nothing you can really do about that.

 

[amelie]

I think it really depends on the woman, but there are some things that most every woman would want, like honesty, loyalty, gentleness, reliability, etc. Otherwise, a good fit in terms of values, some similar interests, treating others with kindness, being passionate about something, loving children, sharing similar goals (ex: willing to live in the same area that I want to live in long term, wanting the same number of children, agreeing on who is going to raise the children at home), being adequately individuated from his family, being interested and willing to grow and change while already being an independent and complete person, and, of course, having that spark. Hm, that's a start. Not sure if that helps, though.

 

[simulatedworld]

Umm...that sounds like a good description of what INFJ women want.

It'd be a bit premature to assume that every woman would want the same things, though.

You'd be surprised what kinds of things are attractive to ESTP women, for instance.

 

[Thessaly]

A guy can win my heart simply by giving me his. Men past adolescence don't seem to be very up to this idea. Y'all keep your hearts on close watch. But putting someone's needs above your own and forgetting all the petty crap will make any heart melt.

 

[Orangey]

Persistence SO does not work with me. I find it annoying and lose respect for the person. I've seen this tactic work with other women, though. So I guess I'll just echo what others have already said- that it depends on the particular woman in question. There's never a universal answer with these types of things.

 

[BerberElla]

Not persistence, I really hate being put in the "cycle of rejection" where I have to reject him over and over again.

Having to do it once is excrutiatingly painful enough, please do not make me go through it again and again.

For me if there is an attraction it would be there from the start, and then it's simple things like being kind to others, being fun to be around (ie wallowing in self pity only one day out of the month at most lol).

Be interesting and spontaneous, and don't get ratty if I spring 180 degree changes on whatever plans you just made, take it in your stride with a smile on your face and a spring in your step.

Oh, and be affectionate to me, not overly so to the point of not letting me go, but I love to snuggle.

Take me camping, rock climbing or hand gliding.....or anything out of the norm and you win major brownie points, or buy me that book out of that obscure trilogy I am reading, just because you know me that well and I'm almost certain to end up giving you my heart in return.

Sigh......he better be out there somewhere lol.

 

[forzen]

I can think of one answer.

m _ _ _ y

Fill in the blanks.

 

[MattC333]

Lmao Forzen!
No, for me it's always been two things: Confidence and congruence.

You must be at ease with yourself before you can really attract anyone.
You must show her that you are not dependant on the outcome of her saying yes or no. If she says no, you don't care, you're confident enough that you will find someone else. You have high value, not by being rich, but by being fun, smart, talented and yourself!

If you are confident then you will be congruent, true to yourself, she will be more attracted to this than anything else! You won't need tall stories or exaggerate your status or job because you will feel that good! Your whole body language will reflect this!! I'm a total coding nerd, I love Dnd, geeky show yet I still attract hot women because I love this about myself and it shows, it matches me and when I'm out I'm fun cos if I get rejected, I can take it.

The only way to deal with rejection is approach as many women as possible, you will learn to be more confident around them (you may already be, but it always helps).
The thing I've learnt is you must gather up as many 'no's as possible, that way you get closer to the *right* yes. I've met women that aren't right for me, but I've gone with them just cos it was a yes and this was totally wrong. Find the right yes for you, have faith and patience.

 

[CrystalViolet]

Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't for me. If you are friends already, I think maybe it would work, but if there is no standing connection, then no, I would give up. Just make sure she doesn't end up with you out of pity...that doesn't work at all.
With a friendship already in place, there's an underlying respect for each other, but if I feel sorry for you I don't respect you at all, and I'm looking for a way to jilt you gently. I find clean breaks work best, if this is the case.

As to winning a girls heart through friendship? Just be there. The guys I fallen hardest for, have always been there for me during upheavals and significant events in my life, just holding my hand.

 

[Synapse]

I met a girl today, instant connection, great chemistry and had lots to talk about. Astonished how close our life circumstances matched. When I asked to go for lunch after she smiled nervously and said she has a boyfriend, is my intuition funny or do I say something next week when I see her again?

 

[Amargith]

Really depends on the attitude of the guy. If he's just there, quite presence, and not afraid of letting me know that he likes me...it has an odd effect. It has worked on me in the past. It's also something of a gamble. I need time to see if you are in fact right for me, to get to know you. How that evaluation is going to go, is not to be predicted. But...if done the right way, it would score you some bonus points on that evaluation

 

[amelie]

Umm...that sounds like a good description of what INFJ women want.

It'd be a bit premature to assume that every woman would want the same things, though.

You'd be surprised what kinds of things are attractive to ESTP women, for instance.

That would be why I prefaced it by saying, "It really depends on the woman..."

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

Umm...that sounds like a good description of what INFJ women want.

It'd be a bit premature to assume that every woman would want the same things, though.

You'd be surprised what kinds of things are attractive to ESTP women, for instance.

What are estp women attracted to and how do you know?

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

I met a girl today, instant connection, great chemistry and had lots to talk about. Astonished how close our life circumstances matched. When I asked to go for lunch after she smiled nervously and said she has a boyfriend, is my intuition funny or do I say something next week when I see her again?

TAKE MY ADVICE: I've dealt with this before. If you want to be with her you must follow this exactly:

1.) Do NOT try to contact her way too much.
2.) Limit yourself to 1 text a week. unless she initiates.
3.) 1 call every month. unless she initiates.
4.) 3 posts/messages/pic comments/wall comments etc a month to her social messaging site (facebook myspace twitter etc).
5.) Be her FRIEND. Because when this guy she is with leaves, then you are her friend. The best attribute of being a friend to a girl that you like is you can get a LOT of face time with her and that way you can slowly move in on her.
6.) Timing is everything, how it starts is how it ends, you rushing in quickly and swiftly, it will end the same way. Slow and cautiously, same ending. Unless of course you marry her, BUT RUSHING IN WILL GET YOU NO WHERE. be PATIENT.
7.) Live your life, have fun, don't think about her too much.
8.) More friendship=more love=more chance of romance.

Trust me. Just trust me.

 

[A Schnitzel]

TAKE MY ADVICE: I've dealt with this before. If you want to be with her you must follow this exactly:

1.) Do NOT try to contact her way too much.
2.) Limit yourself to 1 text a week. unless she initiates.
3.) 1 call every month. unless she initiates.
4.) 3 posts/messages/pic comments/wall comments etc a month to her social messaging site (facebook myspace twitter etc).
5.) Be her FRIEND. Because when this guy she is with leaves, then you are her friend. The best attribute of being a friend to a girl that you like is you can get a LOT of face time with her and that way you can slowly move in on her.
6.) Timing is everything, how it starts is how it ends, you rushing in quickly and swiftly, it will end the same way. Slow and cautiously, same ending. Unless of course you marry her, BUT RUSHING IN WILL GET YOU NO WHERE. be PATIENT.
7.) Live your life, have fun, don't think about her too much.
8.) More friendship=more love=more chance of romance.

Trust me. Just trust me.

I'm not sure if you got his joke.

 

[Moiety]

The key is alcohol. The ancient Egyptians knew this, as did the Phoenicians.

 

[Wade Wilson]

Make sure you're playing with loaded dice.