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  1. #81
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I don't see anything wrong with pursuing a partner as one of your goals. I'm just saying there should be more goals than only that.
    I agree

    What I have written previously does not refer to a person who is healthy and would like to share their life with someone and is already happily using the time they have. I'm talking about those who think their life will suddenly start when they meet someone.
    Oh, okay.

    Quote Originally Posted by A Schnitzel View Post
    Don't let her push you around like that.
    You don't have to do anything you don't want to.
    Damn ENFJs. Always poking their noses in others' business and trying to stir up trouble.

  2. #82
    I drink your milkshake. Thessaly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Good point Thessaly.

    Do you think getting people to let down their guard and fall for you has more to do with figuring them and their personality out to know what will really make them happy, or with their past experiences that could come between you or ?????

    Past experiences could definitely make things more difficult or even easier, but figuring someone out is probably more important. Making a relationship work is hard and takes a lot out of most people. You can't just be inherently lovable, you need to be perceptive and considerate of your partner's needs. Being a complementary match would make that easier of course, which is why everyone has their prerequisites.

  3. #83
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    So are you talking about once you've had some dates already and know you really want to make the other person care for you? Or are you talking about making the relationship work after the bubbly happy stage?

  4. #84
    Senior Member Jonathanthegreat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    So are you talking about once you've had some dates already and know you really want to make the other person care for you? Or are you talking about making the relationship work after the bubbly happy stage?
    Making it work after you scared them away. I pulled a typical ENFJ smothering move but it was all genuine. Left flower on her car. Bought her gifts for her birthday. I wasn't like stalking her or anything. Also, think she believes a the "he's too nice lie" when a woman won't accept a man's pursuit of her, for being "too nice". Usually if a girl thinks a guy is doing things too nice for her, it's an indication of poor self esteem on her behalf by not feeling worthy enough of the man's attention. at least that's what it says in the book "dateable" by Lookadoo and Morgan.

    Basically I'm gonna give it sometime before I try and contact her again. She said she was "emotionally" attracted to me. So yeah. That's a good thing.

    Plan of action: try back when the time is right, might be months or years.
    Unless I meet someone who makes me feel better than she did, I see no reason why not to pursue.

    Any advice? how about infj girl lauren?

  5. #85
    Senior Member rainoneventide's Avatar
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    There's no set "key" to winning anyone's heart. In my opinion, you just need to be willing to get to know them, accept them, and let them get to know you in return.
    "So I say, live and let live. Thatís my motto. Live and let live.
    Anyone who canít go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker."
    - George Carlin

  6. #86
    S Saiyan God Mace's Avatar
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    God, I am hoping. *clutches both hands... again*.

  7. #87
    HAHHAHHAH! INTJ123's Avatar
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    hmm in my experience as an intj, most girls I've tried chasing didn't want me coming back if I was already rejected. The relationships I had just happened naturally, without me having to put in alot of effort, and many times the girl made the move on me, or one time jumped on me and started making out with me. The way I see it now, is just be yourself, they'll be themselves, and if it happens it happens.

    This is actually typical enfj thinking, to manipulate a person to get what you want from them. But I don't think it's that easy to manipulate someone into loving you.

  8. #88
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJ123 View Post
    hmm in my experience as an intj, most girls I've tried chasing didn't want me coming back if I was already rejected. The relationships I had just happened naturally, without me having to put in alot of effort, and many times the girl made the move on me, or one time jumped on me and started making out with me. The way I see it now, is just be yourself, they'll be themselves, and if it happens it happens.
    *nods* Good advice there. A no in the first go around typically means no later on. You really don't want a girl who rejects then later comes back to you. It's a case of "settling for second best". Being labeled second best is a poor way of starting a relationship. The girl'll probably have her eyes on somebody "better".

    This is actually typical enfj thinking, to manipulate a person to get what you want from them. But I don't think it's that easy to manipulate someone into loving you.
    Love must be self initiated. Manipulated feelings don't last... full of regrets and resentment.
    My stuff (design & other junk) lives here: http://nnbox.ca

  9. #89
    Senior Member ENFJ_Catholic's Avatar
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    I don't want something manipulated... stop saying we "game" the system. I find to be such a cliche.

    We want something geninuine.
    "In the end it is not a matter of reason; it is a matter of love." - St. Thomas More

  10. #90
    jump sleuthiness's Avatar
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    I'm so a spelling mistake. People will be as genuine as you perceive them to be.

    thinking of you

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