User Tag List

First 910111213 Last

Results 101 to 110 of 154

  1. #101
    Senior Member Jonathanthegreat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Posts
    166

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    The persistence you are describing is NOT selfless. You might think so but you wouldn't be doing it if you were getting nothing out of it or hoping to. Your ace in the hole here is using "love" as the excuse. That's fucking with people. That's manipulation.
    It is selfless because I'm gaining nothing from it, only showing that I truly care about her despite anything. It's termed "agape" love, unconditional love. Look it up.

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    If this isn't manipulation, I don't know what is. Especially #5. Nice way to creepily fuck with someone's head...
    Then you don't know what manipulation is.
    Manipulation: To control someone/thing unfairly or unscrupulously.

    Being a girl's friend, that you like is not a wrong thing to do. That's how the majority of successful relationships start, through friendship.

    Quote Originally Posted by ragashree View Post
    1) Frankly, this strikes me as delving deeper into the realms of personal abuse than the comment that led to it warranted. Whatever you think of INTJ123's analysis, there wasn't any name calling.
    No name calling, you are right. I just don't like being told I am manipulative because no one on this forum has the just ability to decide that. Additionally I'm not being manipulative. I just hate that word and being called it. Instead of keeping the anger inside, which most people do, I decided to vent. Because it indeed angered me to the point of expressing myself.

    I'm so glad my life's events draw in your concern and input

    I shall use all this information to my benefit.

  2. #102
    Senior Member GinKuusouka's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    2w3 sp/sx
    Socionics
    INFp
    Posts
    238

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbles View Post
    Personally, I think it's important to get to know the person first. Not necessarily for a long time, as friend zoning can occur, but show her that you developed an interest in her, specifically. People who have asked me out without knowing much about me really haven't attracted much of my attention, honestly. It's sort of like, "Why do you like me, you don't even know me!" But I'm probably alone in that. I want to know that I'm giving my trust to someone who both likes me and I know I like back. *shrug*

    Just be genuine, be direct, and if it works then great. If not, don't persist. Persistance after rejection tends to irk me, because I've already answered the question once and don't feel like having to do so again. It's hard enough saying no to someone once, really!
    I actually agree with you Bubbles. Especially about questioning why they like someone when they don't know them. When a guy is persistent... Well, it tends to make me unwilling to budge from where I stand.

    Besides this, I have to wonder... How can someone make a plan for a woman that they don't even know? That you have to follow something precisely, step by step. Myself, I honestly thought that every being was an individual and should be treated as that. Not some number in a line. Funny that...
    I have no idea who I am. All I can say is let's rock hard.

  3. #103
    Senior Member SpottingTrains's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Socionics
    EIE
    Posts
    446

    Default

    Chocolate.
    "That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can."

  4. #104
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTp
    Posts
    6,387

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathanthegreat View Post
    It is selfless because I'm gaining nothing from it, only showing that I truly care about her despite anything. It's termed "agape" love, unconditional love. Look it up.

    Then you don't know what manipulation is.
    Manipulation: To control someone/thing unfairly or unscrupulously.

    Being a girl's friend, that you like is not a wrong thing to do. That's how the majority of successful relationships start, through friendship.
    Pursuing something means that you are trying to get something, which is indeed selfish, not selfless. Your goal is not to express unconditional love, your goal is to get the girl, right?

    And pretending to be a girl's friend to entice her to break up with her bf, so you can "slowly move in on her" is indeed manipulation and is an abuse of trust. There is an ulterior motive, which makes it creepy.

    selfless |?selfl?s|
    adjective
    concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one's own; unselfish : an act of selfless devotion.

    selfish |?selfi sh |
    adjective
    (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure : I joined them for selfish reasons.

    manipulate |m??nipy??l?t|
    verb [ trans. ]
    1 handle or control (a tool, mechanism, etc.), typically in a skillful manner : he manipulated the dials of the set.
    alter, edit, or move (text or data) on a computer.
    examine or treat (a part of the body) by feeling or moving it with the hand : a system of healing based on manipulating the ligaments of the spine.
    2 control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously : the masses were deceived and manipulated by a tiny group.
    alter (data) or present (statistics) so as to mislead.


    and for good measure:

    creepy |?kr?p?|
    adjective ( creepier , creepiest ) informal
    causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease : the creepy feelings one often gets in a strange house.

  5. #105
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,081

    Default

    Jonathan the Great

    Obviously the question you brought up has been one that is worthy of discussion and many people have had input to add that is worth considering and interacting with.

    It's easier online to express what you think about things and have the kinds of discussion you wouldn't normally have immediately after meeting a new person in real life. Obviously, none of us would go around in real life asking for a group of complete strangers' opinons on various and sundry topics, although it is perfectly acceptable and welcomed here. However, the very fact that we don't know you in real life means that if you don't wish to be misunderstood, you have to be very careful in how you say something. Whoever is reading what you write has nothing else to go on but your words.

    I can understand how being told you are manipulative could bother you. On the other hand, I'm guessing you wouldn't be as likely in real life to unload the f word on someone you don't know well who had offended you. Perhaps it might ultimately serve you better to find someone offline to vent to first to take the edge of your anger or else wait a little while before responding. You have asked an honest question and people are responding to it. When you respond with anger to people who don't know you, they are likely to either start ignoring you or bait you for fun. Neither are pleasant. As ENFJs are already highly underrepresented, I'd like to see you stick around...

  6. #106
    Senior Member Jonathanthegreat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Posts
    166

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Your goal is not to express unconditional love, your goal is to get the girl, right?
    It's both.
    And pretending to be a girl's friend to entice her to break up with her bf, so you can "slowly move in on her" is indeed manipulation. There is an ulterior motive, which makes it creepy.
    I never said pretend. Re-read the post darling. Neither did I say entice her to break up with the bf.

  7. #107
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTp
    Posts
    6,387

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathanthegreat View Post
    I never said pretend. Re-read the post darling. Neither did I say entice her to break up with the bf.
    You wrote that in response to a poster who said he met a girl that already had a boyfriend. You told him to follow these rules exactly, and to trust you on it, if he wanted to be with her.

    And I said pretend because you are going into a friendship with an ulterior motive to slowly move in on someone, which is what I view as deceitful and manipulative, darling.

    I don't give a shit what you do, but if you give off suggestions like that, then expect feedback.

  8. #108
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    9,707

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathanthegreat View Post
    It is selfless because I'm gaining nothing from it, only showing that I truly care about her despite anything. It's termed "agape" love, unconditional love.
    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    Pursuing something means that you are trying to get something, which is indeed selfish, not selfless. Your goal is not to express unconditional love, your goal is to get the girl, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathanthegreat View Post
    It's both.

    Did you want to try again to justify it?
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  9. #109
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,081

    Default

    You're not going to win this one J the G, and using terms of endearment unendearingly will not bother NTs in the least. It will only cause them to make you look overemotional and illogical. Keep going though if you are enjoying yourself.

  10. #110
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,422

    Default

    I felt the urge to join in but he's handled good enough as it is.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

Similar Threads

  1. [Other] Key to winning a woman's heart?
    By Jonathanthegreat in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-13-2009, 12:46 AM
  2. [INFJ] How to win an INFJs heart ?
    By entropie in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 06-09-2009, 12:39 PM
  3. [ISTJ] How to win back an ISTj's heart...?
    By missellis75 in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-04-2009, 07:00 PM
  4. Is it OK for a man to touch a woman's breast?
    By Sona in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 73
    Last Post: 08-31-2007, 06:56 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO