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  1. #91
    Senior Member scortia's Avatar
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    I don't know about other INFJs but I hate guys who are persistent to a fault. Also ones who shower me with praise and admiration and lots of "love talk." I hate the unnecessary attention.

    I'm won over by guys who have true goals, their own perspective, a respect for all forms of life, an open mind, and enough levels to their being to keep me interested beyond the first meal.

    Let me know when someone can find one.

  2. #92
    Senior Member Jonathanthegreat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJ123 View Post
    hmm in my experience as an intj, most girls I've tried chasing didn't want me coming back if I was already rejected. The relationships I had just happened naturally, without me having to put in alot of effort, and many times the girl made the move on me, or one time jumped on me and started making out with me. The way I see it now, is just be yourself, they'll be themselves, and if it happens it happens.

    This is actually typical enfj thinking, to manipulate a person to get what you want from them. But I don't think it's that easy to manipulate someone into loving you.
    Being persistent to show someone you care about them, is not manipulating. Especially when you factor in that you are SELFLESSLY pursuing this person with love. You piss me off with that comment, so ignorantly making an assumption. UGH! you f_ck.

  3. #93
    See Right Through Me Bubbles's Avatar
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    Personally, I think it's important to get to know the person first. Not necessarily for a long time, as friend zoning can occur, but show her that you developed an interest in her, specifically. People who have asked me out without knowing much about me really haven't attracted much of my attention, honestly. It's sort of like, "Why do you like me, you don't even know me!" But I'm probably alone in that. I want to know that I'm giving my trust to someone who both likes me and I know I like back. *shrug*

    Just be genuine, be direct, and if it works then great. If not, don't persist. Persistance after rejection tends to irk me, because I've already answered the question once and don't feel like having to do so again. It's hard enough saying no to someone once, really!
    4w3, IEI, so/sx/sp, female, and Cancer sign.

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  4. #94
    Senior Member ENFJ_Catholic's Avatar
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    What comes first? The Chicken :chicken: or the Egg?

    I thought gals wanted a persistent beau. It's no sense in chasing up the wrong tree when the lady's [EDIT: not] willing...but honestly... there's often times where the lady will lead on even if there's not a connection. Which borders on use of the one pursuing. (Which is why "love" often sucks...) :steam:
    "In the end it is not a matter of reason; it is a matter of love." - St. Thomas More

  5. #95
    Senior Member WoodsWoman's Avatar
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    He chased her 'till she caught him.

  6. #96
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathanthegreat View Post
    Also, think she believes a the "he's too nice lie" when a woman won't accept a man's pursuit of her, for being "too nice". Usually if a girl thinks a guy is doing things too nice for her, it's an indication of poor self esteem on her behalf by not feeling worthy enough of the man's attention. at least that's what it says in the book "dateable" by Lookadoo and Morgan.
    Oftentimes, we use the phrase "too nice" as codeword for "too boring"...

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathanthegreat View Post
    Being persistent to show someone you care about them, is not manipulating. Especially when you factor in that you are SELFLESSLY pursuing this person with love. You piss me off with that comment, so ignorantly making an assumption. UGH! you f_ck.
    Careful, your fangs are showing...

    Pursuit could hardly be seen as selfless, especially if you "love" a person who doesn't even know you exist really.

  7. #97
    Reason vs Being ragashree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathanthegreat View Post
    Being persistent to show someone you care about them, is not manipulating. Especially when you factor in that you are SELFLESSLY pursuing this person with love. You piss me off with that comment, so ignorantly making an assumption. UGH! you f_ck.
    1) Frankly, this strikes me as delving deeper into the realms of personal abuse than the comment that led to it warranted. Whatever you think of INTJ123's analysis, there wasn't any name calling.

    2) Let's be clear here: there's nothing "selfless" about pursuing a person who has clearly indicated they don't want you to. On the contrary, it's essentially a selfish act which puts your needs above theirs unless you honestly believe you know what they want better than they do, which is delusional thinking. Some people play hard to get, and some people may be looking for signs of comittment before they want to comitt themselves, true. It's up to someone who finds themselves in that situation to be able to make the call accurately, and it's certainly not always easy. Attributing to yourself only the purest and most noble of motives for doing so, however, is not likely to aid you in being able to make that judgement. What you feel, and call love, and attribute the quality of selflessness to isn't necessarily going to be experienced that way by the other person, who may percieve it as a threat.
    Look into my avatar. Look deep into my avatar...

  8. #98
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathanthegreat View Post
    TAKE MY ADVICE: I've dealt with this before. If you want to be with her you must follow this exactly:

    1.) Do NOT try to contact her way too much.
    2.) Limit yourself to 1 text a week. unless she initiates.
    3.) 1 call every month. unless she initiates.
    4.) 3 posts/messages/pic comments/wall comments etc a month to her social messaging site (facebook myspace twitter etc).
    5.) Be her FRIEND. Because when this guy she is with leaves, then you are her friend. The best attribute of being a friend to a girl that you like is you can get a LOT of face time with her and that way you can slowly move in on her.
    6.) Timing is everything, how it starts is how it ends, you rushing in quickly and swiftly, it will end the same way. Slow and cautiously, same ending. Unless of course you marry her, BUT RUSHING IN WILL GET YOU NO WHERE. be PATIENT.
    7.) Live your life, have fun, don't think about her too much.
    8.) More friendship=more love=more chance of romance.

    Trust me. Just trust me.
    If this isn't manipulation, I don't know what is. Especially #5. Nice way to creepily fuck with someone's head...

  9. #99
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathanthegreat View Post
    Being persistent to show someone you care about them, is not manipulating. Especially when you factor in that you are SELFLESSLY pursuing this person with love. You piss me off with that comment, so ignorantly making an assumption. UGH! you f_ck.
    The persistence you are describing is NOT selfless. You might think so but you wouldn't be doing it if you were getting nothing out of it or hoping to. Your ace in the hole here is using "love" as the excuse. That's fucking with people. That's manipulation.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  10. #100
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    It might be me, but from my experiences it seems that trying to find the key to a woman's heart is generally not helping in eventually aquiring a woman's heart.

    Also, I lol at this thread.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

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