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  1. #21
    Senior Member forzen's Avatar
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    One at a time,

    only because its mentally tiring and the commitment to do multiple dates is exhausting.

  2. #22
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    One at a time
    I N V I C T U S

  3. #23
    Member Manimal's Avatar
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    one at a time.

  4. #24
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I only have one boyfriend at a time, for the most part. But until then, I will date other people and never assume an exclusive relationship until it is discussed and agreed upon.
    I see what you mean now. I don't consider "dating" to be the "getting to know someone" phase, for me it's already at the girlfriend stage. But I will juggle multiple interests until I [or more commonly she ] make a choice.



  5. #25
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    There's a difference between "going on a date" and "dating". Once you've gone on several dates with a person, it's safe to say you're invested; at that point I'd say it's time to make it exclusive [I would make sure to communicate this plan and make sure y'all are on the same page]. Nothing wrong with hitting up several people for a date or two to test out the waters though.


    Why am I in the NF Idyllic? *retreats to the dungeon of the SJ Guardhouse*

  6. #26
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    For me,
    Dating = going out one on one with someone

    i go out with different people at the same time. but so far i've never been the one who initiated it (possibly largely due to my I-ness?). i don't see anything wrong at all with meeting up one on one with more than one person - after all, youre just getting to know each other better, hang out, enjoy yourselves, right? BUT after commitment - ie. the two of us have had proper talk(s) about our relationship and actually decided to get attached - then obviously i would not date someone else (knowing that person has romantic interest in me). sex is totally out of the question, of course; i'm a no-sex-before-marriage person.

  7. #27
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    Dating for me is in either 1 of 3 categories:

    Casual- 'Getting to know'- innocent conversations, casual talks over coffee, etc.

    Romantic- Similar to casual, but there's a lot more wooing involved. Hugs, and extended phone call conversations.

    Exclusive- When it's 'official'- For me? It's old school- where boy meets girl, dates her, then they both kinda decide beyond the "I like you, you like me phase, that we should be bf/gf."

    I guess if I can draw a pyramid- the hierarchy would first start out with Casual dates at the bottom, then romantic dates, lastly Exclusive dating..

    If I don't like a guy.. I tell him right then and there in the first phase- I think "We should only be friends." If I like a guy, I'd still like to casually get to know him, and just date one at a time.

    I think dating multiple people for me? Feels a bit.. ingenuine. It feels a bit half-hearted, superficial.. But, who knows. I heard that preference for mutliple-partner relationships vs. those who prefer 1-on-1 relationships depends on how many care-takers a person had during infancy.. It has something to do with bonding with multiple caretakers vs. just mom+dad- Ex: mom/dad, or mom, dad v. mom+dad+grandparents+babysitter+others.

  8. #28
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    It usually doesn't take me long to work out if I like someone or not so one at a time has never been a burden and I prefer it

  9. #29
    Senior Member Rachelinpa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I only have one boyfriend at a time, for the most part. But until then, I will date other people and never assume an exclusive relationship until it is discussed and agreed upon.
    I agree with this.

  10. #30
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    i think juggling a few things is probably more healthy, altho it doesn't really work for me. i expect too much of the dating process, too much attention, too much focus, too much care to be all over the place.

    according to the love languages schema, my first and by far strongest is quality time. i don't feel like it is easy for me to really commit to deeply connecting or exploring chemistry when i'm jumping around. it just false feels and unprioritized.

    i also find myself withdrawing from others if there is no strong connection (altho as i've matured i've let things breathe a little more, go a little slower, less intense pressure). as in, it is more difficult for me to juggle multiple things bc it has always been one of those situations in which i'd rather be alone than with people i am not connecting with in a meaningful and satisfying way. i have way too strong an inner agenda to enjoy sitting on the patio with other people who are gettin in the way of my private thoughts and not inspiring any desire to connect, play, and converse with.

    i think Fe makes me feel more situationally dependent on others. meeting/matching their feelings, being like hyperly self-aware of the interaction that is going on between us. it makes it so that i cannot just enjoy being MUTED and alone with someone else on a totally differnet page than me. like it keeps pulling me out of my world, is distracting, etc. damn left-brained jness. also a source of conflict with various infps that i have had in my life, knowing we both value this space very dearly but them getting annoyed and irritated that i try to push things a bit too much at times, am too uncompromising, am too Fe and j and demanding/directing.

    i think Fi is better at weighing the value of things and Ti is better at perceiving the causal conections between things. Fe is more of a context-fiinder, it understands the expressed elements of the event/situation/conversation and focuses on purifying those, testing/tasting those, seeing how thins feel to be in this situation and if it is right and harmonious and intensely meaningful or if it isn't, and then kind of protecting that EXTERNALITY and the possibility for making that, purifying that, communicating that, discovering that again and again and again. the moment when we dissolve is significant to us when it is done right with someone who is capable of meeting us there. Te does shit for you and expresses itself by eliminating that which is unimportant and irrelevant.

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