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  1. #61
    Senior Member FC3S's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sabastious View Post
    This is the kind of misconception that truly kills all possibility of the relationship going further. If you think I am being condescending and think I put myself above you, I am now on your shit list and the chance of becoming friends has just plummeted.

    Just because I am mentioning something that I enjoyed about the movie doesn't mean I think or am above you, that's YOUR interpretation and frankly it's completely inaccurate.

    My OP talks about trying to get on the same page as the other people who look at life a bit differently than you.

    Maybe you have answered my question tho. Maybe these people are feeling that I am trying to put myself above them by talking about seemingly "deep" things. I will see if I can figure out how to keep that from happening.
    Well, if you seem so bent on being on my shit list I will comply. /block
    ESTP - Definition: "Love" is making a shot to the knees of a target a 120 km away, with an aratech sniper rifle and tri-light scope.
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  2. #62
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    I talk to Ss like I would talk to anyone, except I lose the tangents about abstract ideas. Since most of the world are Ss, I learned to do this at a very young age - you just can't talk to certain people about certain things. I tend to have lots of luck with SPs, especially when talking about gossipy things, feelings, or joking and kidding around.

  3. #63
    movin melodies kiddykat's Avatar
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    I like talking to sensors on a professional level. I like how they keep business strictly business, and when things do get a bit personal, they know how to just stick to business- and I appreciate that.

    Otherwise? I grew up with a bunch of SJs in my family, and I can remember moments where I would say something so idiosyncratic, and most times? All I got was a ridicule. Maybe it's because they just didn't 'get' me in that way?

    Sometimes, when I want to share something really deep/intimate with my sensor friends/family, I feel really misunderstood, like I'm talking to a wall, and no one 'quite' understands. I get this feeling of 'sink or swim,' and I totally feel at loss with myself.. Even when i want to engage in interesting conversations, like about life, culture, history, anything/everything, our philosophies, how we view people, our values, etc. etc, I usually find that I have to stick with talking about something a bit more on the surface, and I yearn for something more than that. So I resort to reading stuff that interests me, researching, or killing my time in other ways.. Yah! *shucks*

    (I remember reading a post on how come there are so many intuitives and less sensors in this world- sumtin like that? I was thinking, boy can I just transplant myself to that local?) :P But, everything in life is a give/take, right?

  4. #64
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Right- basic knowledge.
    S is a preference for gathering data in a literal and concrete fashion. Not a complete disinterest and not understanding abstractions and ideas. Its not some childish superficial way of understanding the world. Just like an N understands "table" and "pencil"- the sensor still understands "morals" and "faith" and such. Feel free to use these kinds of topics in conversation as necessary.

    (and nobody is going to react well to an N who uses only abstract language and refuses to acknowledge that there is a real, physical concrete world right in front of you. Just like no one is going to react well to an S who speaks in only concrete words and doesn't seem to realize that things have meanings and connections and ideas behind them. That's just poor communication on BOTH sides of the spectrum.)
    Excellent post.
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  5. #65
    Senior Member MrME's Avatar
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    I'd like to note that I never once told people they need to dumb down their thoughts. Different people have different communication styles, that's all. I do change my communication style depending on the person, and whether they're S or N does enter into it. I'm not dumbing down my thoughts, I'm just delivering them in different ways. Yes, I do skip over certain subjects with some of my S-type friends, but it's not done with the attitude of, "Gaah, this freaking S just doesn't understand," it's actually more like, "This'll bore them," or "This subject will sink the conversation."

    My ex-roommates, both ES-types, would immediately tune me out if I started going abstract with them. One said he was interested in that sort of topic, but when I actually started to engage him that way, he quickly lost interest and changed the subject.
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  6. #66
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrME View Post
    My ex-roommates, both ES-types, would immediately tune me out if I started going abstract with them. One said he was interested in that sort of topic, but when I actually started to engage him that way, he quickly lost interest and changed the subject.
    Yeah, they'll tune me out. I think it may be causing them psychological stress to have to engage on that level for very long, and they don't feel as comfortable or confident in these areas. Like I am with lots of Se -- I just shut down after a while.

  7. #67
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    I can talk about abstract stuff if it actually has something to do with reality. Like for example, last night in the Vent chat we were talking about fear and the difference between natural, instinctive skills and learned, developed skills. For several minutes we talked about this without applying it to any specific real-life situations. But - it still had to do with real life, even though we were vague about it. The conversations I have no interest in are the ones about things that could never happen or have no relation to my life in any way. The more fantastical the subject, the less interest I have in it. The "what if" type questions that go nowhere and are just complete meaningless speculation.

    My NF co-worker and I talk a lot about emotions and personalities and plenty of things that could be considered abstract, but we always talk about those things in the context of real human relationships and scenarios, not in a vacuum. I've seen people on this site have entire threads where everything is function shorthand like Fi with Ti, Se with Ni, etc and they never once actually talk about how any of that actually applies to anybody in reality, it's just floating around in the atmosphere somewhere as abstract concepts, and that's the stuff that just does nothing for me.
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  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Yeah, they'll tune me out. I think it may be causing them psychological stress to have to engage on that level for very long, and they don't feel as comfortable or confident in these areas. Like I am with lots of Se -- I just shut down after a while.
    True on the "tune out" part but BS that is because it causes stress or being uncomfortable

    I know an ESFP, very smart girl, could defiantly talk abstract and hold her end of the conversation extremely well HOWEVER she preferences S so for that reason would prefer not to talk about these things

    She is actually very VERY S and I've asked her why she doesn't show her "deeper" side and she more or less thinks sensing is just a better way of working with the world, obviously

    Being able to naturally sense easily doesn't make you uneasy around psychological topics or whatever

    MBTI is a system of what you use "most of the time" now now.... don't be jealous that we use the more practical sensing option a majority of the time

    When we live in fairy land, let me know, I'll make the switch to intuition

  9. #69
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sabastious View Post
    So, how does a strong NF like myself comminucate with S's? So far it's been an epic fail at every turn.
    In communicating with people in general, it is always better to start on their terms, and not expect them to start from my perspective. Regardless of whether it is an "S" or another NF, the best place to start is to listen to them and try to get an overall idea about what is important to them and how they communicate that. While it is a great feeling to encounter someone who *gets* what I am trying to say without that extra effort, I have found it best to consider those the happy surprises. When that is not the case, then each person encountered who thinks fundamentally different from me is an opportunity to learn about another person and how to reach them from their perspective. That is the most interesting part of it.
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  10. #70
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    And stay with us for the next mind shattering question on tonight's show : "how do french people eat croissants?"
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