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Thread: Gay INFP's?

  1. #11

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    I'm bi and an INFJ--but I have tested as an INFP twice. On the last test I took I had 53% judging and 47% perceiving...so I guess I can go back and forth and have traits of both.

  2. #12
    Senior Member souffle's Avatar
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    Are most INFP's prone to questioning their sexuality? I have been doing thing quite a bit lately. I'm a girl, btw. And a teenager. I've always been straight, but recently I've found myself being somewhat attracted to and kind of flirting with a girl who everyone around me agrees is lesbian, even though she hasn't admitted it yet. So... yes. I don't know, I'm just letting it slide at the moment and give myself time to work it out. But back to the point- do any of you other INFP's also question your sexuality? Or do you even choose to define it? I read that people with the P function like to push the act of making a decision till later.. and later... and later... until they've gathered more information, had more time, etc. So that could definitely apply to deciding sexual orientation. It does for me!

    So if that was true for other INFP's, Miss BrokenSticks, then your chances of getting with your dream INFP chick would be somewhat better. Let us hope!


    Haha, I just looked for a smiley to go with 'let us hope', and found this! Mmm, tasty tasty popcorn.

    Annnnyway.. on with the main discussion...

  3. #13
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I know of a handful, but I don't think any are INFPs.

    What are INFPs in the population? 3-4%? So that's maybe a little over 2% of them being female? So if you had 200 gay people on these forums, chances are maybe 4-5 of them would be gay female INFPs.

    Chances of that could be pretty slim...
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    Quote Originally Posted by BrokenSticks View Post
    What are the chances that, if I actually meet another INFP female, she'd actually be gay too *and* we'd both be attracted to each other?
    Depends...are you in a lesbian bar?

    :rofl:

    Gawd, I'm funny.

    Srsly though, NPs and NFs are pretty prevalent in gay, especially lesbian communities. INXP women, in my experience, are well represented. I've been involved with at least 4 of them

    Now, the chances of you being attracted to each other? That's much more left to chance.

    Good luck.
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    Quote Originally Posted by souffle View Post
    Are most INFP's prone to questioning their sexuality?
    Eh, I dunno. I'm open to the possibility of being bisexual, but I think I'm pretty straight and don't question it much. I haven't ever met a girl I was really attracted to in a sexual way.

    Some of my gay and bisexual friends are constantly asking me to question my sexuality, which kind of bugs me. But I can only speak for myself. How do other INFP's feel about this topic of being unsure about sexuality? In general, I know we're prone to questioning a lot of things about ourselves!
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    Quote Originally Posted by souffle View Post
    Are most INFP's prone to questioning their sexuality? ...- do any of you other INFP's also question your sexuality? Or do you even choose to define it?
    Souffle: I cannot speak for other INFP's, as I do not really know any, but I can tell you that I questioned whether I was bi for about a year when I was 14... but by the time I was 15 I knew I was a total homo and there was no denying it.

    However, my attitude may have softened a bit over time, and, though I mostly consider myself to be a total dykey-dyke, I dislike labels and the finality of statements like "I am ____." -I could maybe sleep with a guy, but there would be no romance whatsoever. they're just my buddies and it would be a purely physical encounter. In fact, I'd be the one not wanting to talk or cuddle. my clothes would be on and I'd be out the door as soon as it was over. Though I may have had a completely physical sexual encounter with them, it would really just be a few steps above masturbation in my book.

    Guys can't make me stutter with nervousness like women can. Really hot guys can walk shirtless down the street and I'll think maybe. wow, he's really built and has an attractive look about him. Certain girls walk by, however, and I'm reduced to an open-mouthed idiot, mesmerized by swinging hips.

    oh, and yes, popcorn is yummy!

    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Srsly though, NPs and NFs are pretty prevalent in gay, especially lesbian communities. INXP women, in my experience, are well represented. I've been involved with at least 4 of them
    That is encouraging. Thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jewelchild View Post
    Some of my gay and bisexual friends are constantly asking me to question my sexuality, which kind of bugs me. But I can only speak for myself. How do other INFP's feel about this topic of being unsure about sexuality? In general, I know we're prone to questioning a lot of things about ourselves!
    I do not believe it's anyone's place to tell you repeatedly that you should be questioning something about yourself.

    I had a new coworker at a job who had just found out I was gay. He kept asking how did I know? and actually told me that maybe I just hadn't slept with the right guy yet (Because, it was obvious to him, how are you going to know if you don't do it?). By the end of the conversation, he basically said that until I had slept with every guy on earth, I could not know that I didn't want to be with them. I did not want a confrontation, but this made me very angry. In hindsight, what I should have asked him in return is if he maybe just needed to find the right guy and sleep with him so he could know if he likes dick. Because, of course, "How are you gonna know if ya don't do it?"

    Don't let anyone make you doubt yourself (even if you are unsure of things, yourself). It's *your* business, not theirs. They can ask once or twice, but anything beyond that makes it seem like they are only asking because they want the outcome to be different than what it is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BrokenSticks View Post
    Though I may have had a completely physical sexual encounter with them, it would really just be a few steps above masturbation in my book.
    Exactly, orientation isn't about who you can sleep with, it's about who you want to be with.

    Guys can't make me stutter with nervousness like women can. Really hot guys can walk shirtless down the street and I'll think maybe. wow, he's really built and has an attractive look about him. Certain girls walk by, however, and I'm reduced to an open-mouthed idiot, mesmerized by swinging hips.


    Exactly!
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  8. #18
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    Slightly off topic....but I think if you question EVERYTHING about your self, you are dyed in the wool INFP.
    I once had a gay friend, in stiches of laughter, because I was questioning my sexuality. There were tears of laughter...I kid you not. "I never seen some one so undeniably straight, question their sexuality before" she told me.
    The thing is I'd like to think a little thing like biological sex would be no hinderence if I was attracted to and in love with some one. I don't know if that's an NF trait, or not....but as a general rule that connection for me only happens with males, I don't know what I'm trying to say here, other than I personally have no hard and fast rules about sexuality, just general trends....but again is that just a NF/ possible NT thing?
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  9. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by BrokenSticks View Post
    I was reading various INFP posts on this site, and all the relationship-related ones only seemed to mention heterosexual relationships.

    I met a woman once who I think was an INFP. We talked for several hours before we had to reluctantly part ways, and I never saw her again, but I will always remember being absolutely amazed and enthralled by her.

    She turned out to be straight, so I put romance out of the question, but I still was just incredibly attracted to her personality.

    What are the chances that, if I actually meet another INFP female, she'd actually be gay too *and* we'd both be attracted to each other?

    Statistically, I'd say the odds are REALLY slim. next to nothing. But that's because as far as I know, that one woman was the only INFP I've ever met. She was at least the only one I have ever gotten to know, but it was a pleasure.

    Are there any gay people in these forums?

    I'm INFP and a lesbian.. So it is possible. Don't give up hope, we're out there!

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    Quote Originally Posted by BrokenSticks View Post
    I was reading various INFP posts on this site, and all the relationship-related ones only seemed to mention heterosexual relationships.

    I met a woman once who I think was an INFP. We talked for several hours before we had to reluctantly part ways, and I never saw her again, but I will always remember being absolutely amazed and enthralled by her.

    She turned out to be straight, so I put romance out of the question, but I still was just incredibly attracted to her personality.

    What are the chances that, if I actually meet another INFP female, she'd actually be gay too *and* we'd both be attracted to each other?

    Statistically, I'd say the odds are REALLY slim. next to nothing. But that's because as far as I know, that one woman was the only INFP I've ever met. She was at least the only one I have ever gotten to know, but it was a pleasure.

    Are there any gay people in these forums?
    I am a lesbian INFP I guess we are a rare breed

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