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Thread: Unhealthy ENFP?

  1. #41
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    did it feel like a really odd INFJ?
    I'm not sure I understand your question. You mean my ISTJy period?

  2. #42
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    yeah, I guess our shadow would be an INFJ. But not a healthy one at all. That may have not been you were doing at all though so, who knows...

  3. #43
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by boondocked View Post
    I find that when under stress/the blues I tend to drain the people around me. I'll need to talk that junk out pretty much constantly until it's resolved. And I don't know for sure, but I can imagine, that tendency taxes people.
    YES! I ended a friendship with an ENFP who was not a close friend per say in the amount of time we spend together but when we did hang out I felt deep sharing and connection and a lack of judgement in her advice and care. But when she hit a depression I felt so overwhelmed by her draining me and getting hurt when I couldn't handle the sheer force she threw her emotions/needy crying at me and others. Just about wanted to tell her STOP and take care of yourself because you are going to shipwreck me!
    Extroverted (E) 67.74% Introverted (I) 32.26%
    Intuitive (N) 51.72% Sensing (S) 48.28%
    Feeling (F) 51.61% Thinking (T) 48.39%
    Judging (J) 69.44% Perceiving (P) 30.56%

    Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
    so/sx/sp

  4. #44
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Galusha View Post
    It's kind of sad that a feeling type can't be forthright about their emotions unless they decide on whatever odd merit-based system that you've earned their honesty.
    Hi there. New here, and just wanted to jump in on this. I've only had trouble expressing emotions with someone I have fallen in love with. I have literally told someone that I was not in love with them when I was deeply, madly, sickeningly in love with them.

  5. #45
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerberElla View Post
    Ok, so I know alot about the unhealthy INFP, but not that much about what an unhealthy ENFP would look like or behave under extreme stress.

    I'm looking for some ENFPs to describe how they act when they are feeling stressed to see whether it matches with how I behave.

    Also, other ENFP's, do you repress anger, if so how to you repress it?

    It's like I feel I match the infp and the enfp profile, but only a few bits out of each. I'm wondering if I can narrow it down by looking at the unhealthy behaviour of both and see if I am prehaps an unhealthy version of one or the other.
    Unhealthy condition-Preponderance of Ne.

    1) Divorced from reality- When the dominant function is preponderant, the inferior is supressed the most. In this case it is sensing. The ENFP as a result looses track of what is going on in the real world in order to focus on imagination.

    2)Very scattered- Since Thinking is the third function, it is also heavily supressed. This prevents the person in question for organizing their life in a logical order. They follow from hunch to hunch without understanding what the hunches are or what they lead to.

    3) Impulsive and unreflective- The predominance of extroversion leads the ENFP to merely act on whim. Supression of Thinking and Sensing allows them to believe in many absurdities. As a result they often have many unrealistic views which they, as extroverts, feel compelled to act on.

    4)Insincere- As an Extroverted Feeling type, the ENFP tends to rely heavily on approval of others. Since the person in question acts on whim, he or she will go far to receive their approval even if that means being untrue to oneself. This usually consists in presenting a fake image of oneself in order to appear more likable to others. Often not realizing that he or she is being untrue to him or herself.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

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  6. #46
    Senior Member Heart&Brain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeatherC View Post
    YES! I ended a friendship with an ENFP who was not a close friend per say in the amount of time we spend together but when we did hang out I felt deep sharing and connection and a lack of judgement in her advice and care. But when she hit a depression I felt so overwhelmed by her draining me and getting hurt when I couldn't handle the sheer force she threw her emotions/needy crying at me and others. Just about wanted to tell her STOP and take care of yourself because you are going to shipwreck me!
    See, this is a nice example for fuelling the occasional (unhealthy or realistic?) misanthropy I've heard a few ENFPs express. Thanks for being so honest, even at the risk of putting yourself in a less flattering light.

    For me, this is an old and painful fear: that people will only care for the happy expression of me, not the down&blue one. I'm aware my enthusiasm can be judged 'too much' when I forget myself and everything around me to share something I care for. But I fear that my depressed times will be even more unacceptable to others. So I have made a habit of monitoring and censoring myself in either direction in order to avoid being judged as 'too much' and rejected. (The rejection is especially painful because the 'too much'-behaviour is often displayed when we trust, relax and let go of the censorship.)

    Thus, the fear: that "friends", people we begin to like and give a piece of ourselves to, don't really care for us, but will only stick around as long as they can benefit from the enthusiast, accepting and empathic aspects of us. We give connection, attention and don't judge. We share our warmth. We care. But deep inside might doubt if others would care too when we are not so giving, when we are down and needing support.

    Fearing to be unlovable when down, results could be:
    - Sticking to bad relationships because we think we haven't given enough yet or that we perhaps will never be loved again.
    - Appearing to be insincere, struggling to appear strong not to be judged and rejected by "friends" who can't cope.
    - Tending towards impulsivity, trying to regain the intensity of the new.
    - Seeking isolation until we feel a bit better, hiding in shame when we doubt if people can handle our shortcomings.

    I know that I've been guilty of all of the above in periods of stress or depression.

  7. #47
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SolitaryWalker View Post
    Unhealthy condition-Preponderance of Ne.

    1) Divorced from reality- When the dominant function is preponderant, the inferior is supressed the most. In this case it is sensing. The ENFP as a result looses track of what is going on in the real world in order to focus on imagination.

    2)Very scattered- Since Thinking is the third function, it is also heavily supressed. This prevents the person in question for organizing their life in a logical order. They follow from hunch to hunch without understanding what the hunches are or what they lead to.

    3) Impulsive and unreflective- The predominance of extroversion leads the ENFP to merely act on whim. Supression of Thinking and Sensing allows them to believe in many absurdities. As a result they often have many unrealistic views which they, as extroverts, feel compelled to act on.

    4)Insincere- As an Extroverted Feeling type, the ENFP tends to rely heavily on approval of others. Since the person in question acts on whim, he or she will go far to receive their approval even if that means being untrue to oneself. This usually consists in presenting a fake image of oneself in order to appear more likable to others. Often not realizing that he or she is being untrue to him or herself.

    Hey SW,
    I promise I will come and study this thread in much more depth as I think much of this is very valuable. However you did not mention overuse of Tert Te, only underuse. Also what some of this actually looks like from the inside could use a bit of tweaking with respect to motive/intent/conscious application of the above.

    thanks for writing it and putting time into it as it is really insightful.

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Hmmmm I'm beginning to seriously dislike this "healthy/unhealthy" mumbo jumbo.
    Was just gonna state this. What's interesting about MBTI is that there is no norm people should conform to, only different tendencies. Turning it into healthy/unhealthy and conforming each type to a certain norm all over again seems to contradict its purpose.

  9. #49
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ne-Monster View Post
    Hey SW,
    I promise I will come and study this thread in much more depth as I think much of this is very valuable. However you did not mention overuse of Tert Te, only underuse. Also what some of this actually looks like from the inside could use a bit of tweaking with respect to motive/intent/conscious application of the above.

    thanks for writing it and putting time into it as it is really insightful.
    Te is typically underused as it is one of the weaker function. Therefore it is easily supressed. The result is poor reasoning that is employed in the services of whimsical Ne behavior. This translates to the scene of human interaction in the regard of the ENFP arguing implausibly to defend his or her position.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

    “No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.”---Samuel Johnson

    My blog: www.randommeanderings123.blogspot.com/

  10. #50
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    SolitaryWalker, I'm curious as to how an unhealthy ENFP could become healthy if given that the external circumstances leading to the unhealthiness do not change?

    I'm guessing that the best way to do that would be to develop Te -- which bolsters Fi and gives it an intellectual foundation. Or it could be to develop Si and use the material world to anchor down the Ne. What do you think?

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