[INFP] INFP females

[Jonathanthegreat]

I've recently met one and I can notice the "NF" in her. She is just so meek and coy it's hard to understand the real "her". Anyone have any info about INFP females they can share with me? I'd rather get advice from an active forum than reading sites on the internet. They can make me feel like this guy--->:steam:

 

[Skyward]

I don't have much to say besides be careful around a lot of subject matter that could be sensitive. Since NFPs have strong values they'll fight for them. I tend to accidentally piss off more NFPs than any other type. (Besides ESTPs)

 

[heart]

I've recently met one and I can notice the "NF" in her. She is just so meek and coy it's hard to understand the real "her". Anyone have any info about INFP females they can share with me? I'd rather get advice from an active forum than reading sites on the internet. They can make me feel like this guy--->:steam:

I think it would be best if you asked specific questions and then INFP could answer.

 

[Skyward]

I think it would be best if you asked specific questions and then INFP could answer.

 

[michL87]

As an INFP, one thing I love to talk about is possibilities. In trying to understand her, ask about her goals and ideas. Once you start talking about something she cares about, she probably won't be "meek" anymore. INFP's just don't say much unless it's a topic they care about. We're not big fans of small talk -- in fact, we find it extremely boring!

 

[Skyward]

As an INFP, one thing I love to talk about is possibilities. In trying to understand her, ask about her goals and ideas. Once you start talking about something she cares about, she probably won't be "meek" anymore. INFP's just don't say much unless it's a topic they care about. We're not big fans of small talk -- in fact, we find it extremely boring!

Mhm! I see this with all the NFPs I know, unless it's one of their current obsessions they probably wont be too interested. I cant stand small talk either. Maybe it's an NF thing.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Maybe it's an NF thing.

I think it is an N thing, and even more so with introverts, and even more so with Fi (Fe might be more considerate of what others want to discuss).

 

[Wiley45]

Blech. Small talk. *Shudders*

 

[Skyward]

It's like a wall. It's hard for me to contribute. Non-sequitors are the only way out!

 

[Southern Kross]

I agree with what was said about small talk - decent conversation is the key. Its better to, say, ask what she thinks about a particular current issue. Its even better if you engage in (polite and respectable) discussion/debate as long as you listen and acknowledge the validity of her views. We like to be mentally challenged a little. The best dicussions I've had are ones where we the conversation just flows fluidly and naturally without a particular direction from topic to topic. INFPs have a wide generalised interest in many subjects because we can find something of significance in most things. And the more perspectives and variety of information the better. Anecdotes, pieces of trivia, social observations, interesting articles/documentaries you have read/seen on the subject - throw it all in.

Its best to be yourself - don't show off or try to impress her to much. INFPs can sniff out when they're being fed a line at 20 paces. We like when the situation is relaxed, natural and non-confrontational - it makes us more likely to open up. Don't come on too strong. A casual friendly atmosphere lends itself to a romantic one later down the track.

 

[Augenblick]

"We like to be mentally challenged a little."

We tend to be mentally challenged a little.

As an (male) INFP, I hate to just blurt out my opinions on most things. But I love being asked to share my opinions, especially when someone seems generally interested. That is, I do better with a willing audience. If I even sense that the person isn't listening or would rather I shut up, I have a harder time communicating. It's not a conscious decision... it just happens.

 

[runvardh]

Yeah, I typically need the indications as to why I should be wasting my breath, but this is for the girls.

 

[phthalocyanine]

as long as you present yourself in a genuine, earnest way, we INFP girls usually warm up rather quickly. (i can't make my reply any longer than this unless / until the OP expounds on the topic.)

 

[brainheart]

^ agreed. We hate fake. I was at first extremely mean to my ESTP future husband. I told him he was too 'cheesy' for me and that I wasn't interested in being in a relationship. But he continued to be a real, sweet, funny person and a few months later I realized he was worthy of my attention.

Please, tell us more. I need details.

And oh yeah, formal dates are the worst. They make me incredibly nervous and make me feel like I am to perform in some way which has the effect of making me retreat into my shell. I am an emotionless blank board in such situations.

 

[Udog]

She is just so meek and coy it's hard to understand the real "her".

What is it you want from her? What are you intentions for knowing the "real" her? What will you do with that information if she opens up?

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

I just like to know about people. Understand them. So when time comes in the future and I meet more of same types. I can have a better general understanding of the person. This will help me in the future to get cooperation from those when I need it. May sound a bit selfish but overall I crave TRUE knowledge, to help me with life as I slowly approach my inevitable grave.

I'm not romantically interested in her at all but I wouldn't mind kissing her. That's about it. In all reality.......she seems a little boring. BUT I love love love her meek attitude, so hard to find people like that nowadays, especially in America.

 

[Thessaly]

Because I'm so wishy washy and lacking structure in my life I tend to be attracted to strong men who seem to have their lives in order. I very much like a man who knows himself well and possesses some wisdom about life that has more depth than "all is far in love and war" or "do on to others as you would have them do on to you." Don't be overly stoic though. Having an emotional side is as alluring to INFPs as a well built body.

 

[Dwigie]

I just like to know about people. Understand them. So when time comes in the future and I meet more of same types. I can have a better general understanding of the person. This will help me in the future to get cooperation from those when I need it. May sound a bit selfish but overall I crave TRUE knowledge, to help me with life as I slowly approach my inevitable grave.

I'm not romantically interested in her at all but I wouldn't mind kissing her. That's about it. In all reality.......she seems a little boring. BUT I love love love her meek attitude, so hard to find people like that nowadays, especially in America.

Wow. See, I don't know about other INFPs but I often feel like because I don't say anything people feel the way you do about her also about me and that's exactly why I don't bother opening up. If you're bored watch TV and talk to someone you actually give a damn about.
I mean, you're wasting her time. I don't want to get to know someone with no intent on pursuing some sort of relationship with them. If these people talk to me and I see I'm just a "time killer" for them I just go in mirror mode and act like anything but myself:
("omg, your shoes are so nice! etc...)

Edit: Yeah, what greed said is true.

 

[garbage]

My INFP is extremely intuitive about others' needs, and she can be absolutely and surprisingly assertive about them.

When she paid for my lunch today, I just ordered a sandwich and water. Knowing that I was just trying to make my meal cheap for her, she told me that I could get a full meal and, even after I refused, proceeded to tell the cashier that I wanted the full meal. I relented and let her get me what I wanted

Damn. We'll probably violently destroy the world from the empathy feedback loop one of these days.

So, yeah, they can be more assertive than they seem. Don't be offended.. just ride with it.

 

[Wiley45]

In all reality.......she seems a little boring. BUT I love love love her meek attitude, so hard to find people like that nowadays, especially in America.

Bet ya a million bucks there's a lot going on under that surface.