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Thread: The dark side of ENFPs

  1. #51
    Senior Member Array boondocked's Avatar
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    Mar 2009
    4w3 sx/so


    My INTJ best-friend tells me that my worst fault is the tendency to see all my faults as loveable. He'll tell me I'm too manipulative and I'll hear "You really get people." He'll tut-tut-tut me for being irresponsible and I'll read into it "you're a free spirit."

    And since I've got the traditional ENFP circle of many great friends who love me despite my flaws, I tend to think "How bad could my faults REALLY be?"

    This whole thought process is, I know, a pretty damning fault. I'm glad he pointed it out.

  2. #52
    Welcome to Sunnyside Array Mondo's Avatar
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    Mar 2008


    An ENFP gone bad probably has been manipulated by some more clever ENTP or ENTJ.. :-p
    MBTI Type: iNTj
    Enneagram Type: 3w4 sp/sx

  3. #53
    Senior Member Array stigmatica's Avatar
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    May 2009


    Oooooh! I have a Dark Side *Deep Voice Echoing...*

    Dun dun dun duuuuuuun! Mua ha ha ha ha!

    What is all this piddly stuff about too nice, lazy, and flippy do da butterflies and rainbows? I thought we had a Dark Side! *Deep Voice Echoing...* Not a too light and fluffy side? That's old news!

    Dark? Hmmm...

    - One time I put bengay on the inside of my little brothers jock strap!
    - I put a king snake in my teachers desk in the 2nd grade.
    - I once hid a fish in the trunk of my best friends car.
    - I once plotted to take over the world, but then I saw something shiny and... uh, what were we talking about? Shiny!!!

  4. #54


    I sometimes come off as a belligerent and ignorant asshole, but that's just because I'm a belligerent and ignorant asshole at times.

  5. #55
    Senior Member Array alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Nov 2007


    I get bored with people.
    I'm terribly moody at times.

  6. #56


    Quote Originally Posted by Ace_ View Post
    Well if I really had to think of downsides of ENFPs, these would be it:

    - they are often irresponsible
    - they are the creators of hype, reality distortion and misguided self-confidence in others
    - they are lazy as fuck
    - they find it very hard to be objective about their friends or family
    - they start stuff but don't finish 95% of what they started
    - they would find an excuse for Hitler and let him go(they can't punish people)
    I agree. I always find a redeeming flaw for the criminal and it's like suddenly the murderer is the victim to me. I really feel like everyone has a side that needs to be forgiven. I don't understand why I feel this way though

  7. #57
    Junior Member Array
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    Dec 2010

    Default hmmm...

    what do you think about Damon Salvatore or even Tony Stark being a darker ENFP???

  8. #58
    Certified Sausage Smoker Array Elfboy's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    5w4 sx/sp
    SLI None


    dark side huh? hehehe most of these traits do not sound like me at all. I think most of the posts have pertained to ENFPs who are 7s and 2s. ENFP 4s are totally different. Our dark sides are much more dramatic and intense. we like to shock and impress people sometimes, but not really please them. in fact, most of us can accurately evaluate people's character extremely quickly and usually decide rather quickly if we don't like someone. most of the time we may have a sort of "I'm here, deal with me bitches" approach to life that makes SJs and 6s gasp in disbelief. 4w3 NFPs have different dark sides depending on the situation

    1) they don't get their way on something important: 4w3 NFPs can turn from docile, calm and pleasant to a f#$king diva a matter of a few seconds. spunky, passionate and incredibly intense
    2) you're mean to them: similar to the above, but if you're just plain being a douche bag, we'll just be like "fuck you" and have no problem leaving and never talking to you again. we won't really stay mad (at least I won't), we'll just break off the relationship
    3) you're mean to other people: at this point, ENFP 4w3s will likely perform what this forum likes to call the "Te bitchslap" and seeks to totally socially destroy the oppressor and then goes back to sweet and nurturing mode to help the victim
    4) if you're abusing or oppressing people: this is where the real dark side switch get's flipped. at this point, the normally happy, jovile and calm ENFP does a 180 and turns serious, vidicative and merciless (in INFPs multiply this times 2 or 3). at this point, things really get dramatic (my friends tell me when I get mad, they feel like they are in an opera or something lol) and Fi will do anything to strike down evildoers and mercilessly punish them for their transgressions

    I can relate to the claims about being lazy and manipulative tho (although I HATE this quality in myself)

  9. #59
    Senior Member Array animenagai's Avatar
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    Aug 2008


    There are a lot of qualities described in this thread which I would describe as negative but accurate. However, there are only so many that I would describe as being dark. Flakiness for example is not the best quality to have, but is it dark? Is it something you can imagine someone with depression or a serial killer having? It's surely not the first attribute that would come to mind. I'll try my best to list some darker attributes:

    1. Ne really goes places it shouldn't go sometimes. I pick up a knife and I can think about stabbing someone with it. A relative may bend over and I can think about having sex with them. There are really, really dark images that my mind can conjure up not so rarely and it's not nice at all. I assure you, I am not on my way to a mental asylum/prison. Ne simply does not discriminate. I get an idea, a mental connection, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. It's both a great strength and weakness.

    2. We care way too much about what people think, especially for people who insist on being ourselves. This is both an ENFP and enneagram 4w3 problem. I have eczema for example and I spent pretty much all of last christmas, on the acupuncture bed, treating my condition. My skin was so bad that I couldn't step out of the house without feeling like a monster. I would wake up in the middle of the night, needing to go to the toilet and I wouldn't even have the guts to turn on the lights, afraid of what I'll see in the mirror. I feel like many other types wouldn't really give a shit. They have the coldness to not let it affect them, they can see it just a phase that they have to go through. I couldn't, and my NF went all emo on me. In hindsight, I had at least mild depression.

    3. This one isn't quite as scary, but it's one that comes up quite a bit for me. We are perfectionists and I think this is true when it comes to the functions too. I want to be able to step into a predominantly Ti/Te environment while maintaining my Fi. This leads to many issues, for example, someone can give me pieces of constructive criticism and I'll get overly defensive when in reality, I know I'm wrong. Even more common are the situations where an idiot says something out of line, racism for example, and we all know that he/she is just being a retard. However, though I know that intellectually, I don't emotionally. I still feel the bite of the nasty comment and I'll still spend the next week or two thinking about it. This balance is hard and causes quite a bit of internal conflict imo.
    Chimera of Filth

    A gruesome beast with dripping flesh
    Clings to me as a sick fixture
    My throbbing heart it gnawed apart
    It stalks and hunts me through mirrors

  10. #60


    Quote Originally Posted by animenagai View Post
    1. Ne really goes places it shouldn't go sometimes. I pick up a knife and I can think about stabbing someone with it. A relative may bend over and I can think about having sex with them. There are really, really dark images that my mind can conjure up not so rarely and it's not nice at all. I assure you, I am not on my way to a mental asylum/prison. Ne simply does not discriminate. I get an idea, a mental connection, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. It's both a great strength and weakness.
    I can identify with these-I have never seen anyone call out that first one-but it is totally true. Really dark but true...

    I also care way too much about what other people think-I try and use Te to self talk out of it. I can also be neurotic as hell and think everyone hates me-again I use Te to self talk out of it.

    I am also guilty of being defensive about my ideas, although I try really hard not to do this, as I need the critical feedback to improve my ideas and myself.

    As for darkness, I often feel very dark or broken on the inside, especially when in an emotionally bad place. That sense of despair can chase others away as nobody wants to be part of that mess, causeing me to retreat and feel like instead of being part of the world, I'd rather love and care for the world from outside of it, so I dont overly disturb those within it. Like an invisible angel. I want to give love, but not be recognized as doing so.. I am 4w5 though, so maybe that is part of it.

    Ah, the Te bitchslap appears to be my friend as well. On the good side, I WILL stand up for those in pain or need and fight for them, and on the bad side, I will lash out hurtfully and nastily sometimes to those who have hurt me...

    Lately I have noticed a very weird dark aspect of myself evolving. If a person does something particularly heinous or keeps bothering me even when I ask them to leave me alone, I have been trying very hard not to bitchslap them as it seems so reactive and emotionally drains me. If I find myself getting angry...bitchslap-y...I quell it, recognize it as not a good idea and instead try and understand why the other person is behaving as they are.

    Suddenly I can move into this very focused place-the other person has become my entire focus, the rest of the world is ignored-and Ne and Te weave everything I understand about people in general around that particular person...they become the Ne focal point. As I focus on them, I will find questions I dont know the answer to, and then the answers are just there-the bubble up, gaps are filled in, which allows me to further analyze them. An ESTP described this as an ENFP seeing through you and said it was very creepy. It is like a play by play psychological dissection of the enemy, weaving patterns around them and predicting what they will do next-predictive I suppose as their motives dont matter, just their predicted behaviors. The things they do or say cant hurt me because they are simply part of that particular person's pattern. It is like once I understand they are trapped in their pattern, I can ignore or forgive the hurt they inflict, but identify the required defense before they even do anything.

    Now....if that person is hurting someone I care for...they have put themselves in a very dangerous place. I can forgive injury to myself easily, and nuetralize that hurt, but you dont hurt those I care for. In that case, it is like weaved lists appear of that person's weaknesses, an intense focus of them, and I can begin to plan a play by play attack upon them as a person. I lay out the pieces of the puzzle-all individual things-then when the time comes I can quickly gather the pieces and deploy an attack or alternatively let them stumble across the pieces like logs in their path to make them fall more slowly. I havent done this yet as to do so would be really horrible. But more and more I can sense the ability to do this coming on line.. It is scary as Fi holds me back from hurting other people, but if pushed to this cold analytical place, it speaks more softly.

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