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[MBTI General] How Does One Deal With Heartbreak and Is Psychological Pain Necessarily Part Of It?

Xellotath

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
176
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Are you asking if there's a purely rational [no psychological pain] way to deal with an inherently emotional reaction [heartbreak]?

Edit: It just seems like a contradiction in terms. What part of the words Heart/Break/ are you not getting? To say can you be heartbroken without being broken... is silly. Can you be sad without being sad?

Oh you silly NTs....

Ok.

Well, in case you're in pain just solve everything the rational way. Tell yourself that emotions are nothing more than nervous reactions in the autonomic nervous system and ta-da!

I'm a liar
 

Moiety

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Aug 3, 2008
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5,996
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ISFJ
Vicodin, scotch, one-night stands and punk music.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I think the best way to deal with heartbreak is to embrace it, figure out what it means and why you're upset, let it run its course... then let it go and move forward.
 

Kyrielle

New member
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Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,294
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INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I think the best way to deal with heartbreak is to embrace it, figure out what it means and why you're upset, let it run its course... then let it go and move forward.

This.

Heartbreak is a grieving process. There is no way to really avoid the pain of it as you are dealing with the loss of something important to you. The relationship, and the person you were with, have died in a way. While the person is not physically dead to you, your closeness to them is. Even if you become friends afterwards, it's still going to hurt because it will not be the same level of intimacy.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
I think you sound ready to live.

On your knees is the place to start. You have seen the limits of self. Now you can stand and stride forward.





I'm sure you're sincere as you're an ENTP and incapable of irony or subtlety, but you may be elevating INFJ women to an extreme degree, though I cannot disagree with you.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP

Psychological pain is part and parcel of life. It's the way you deal with it that matters. ENTP (especially 7w8) often flee from pain, hence some of the addictive nature of our pursuits, always chasing the "fun". Compulsively even. Embracing pain is your salvation.

Again I am reminded of the Kafka quote:

"You can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, that is something you are free to do and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid."
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
Taking lessons from House are we?

House is unhealthy. Otherwise, there would be no reason to have a show. Watching healthy people live is not interesting. There is no conflict. No struggle with the darker forces.
 

Nyota

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2008
Messages
69
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
4w5
House is unhealthy. Otherwise, there would be no reason to have a show. Watching healthy people live is not interesting. There is no conflict. No struggle with the darker forces.

House is REAL.... which is what we like to watch. Same with everything else; we enjoy things that can be applicable to our lives.
[wait... we're not in the actual House thread. how'd this happen?]
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
House is REAL.... which is what we like to watch. Same with everything else; we enjoy things that can be applicable to our lives.
[wait... we're not in the actual House thread. how'd this happen?]

Lauren derailed this shizz.
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
Watching healthy people live is not interesting. There is no conflict. No struggle with the darker forces.

What is healthy anyway? To whose standards? I tend to think that everybody is broken. Some are more, some are less. What matters is how they deal with it.


What comes to heartbreak and dealing with it, I agree with Jennifer that it should be embraced, figured out and then let go.

Psychological pain is definitely a part of it. You only get your heart broken when you let people close to your heart. It's actually the analyzing part that hurts the most, going over every little detail and figuring out why this happened. However, this is necessary and a part of the letting go process.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
Give me a break... are you setting a trap? Are you actually heartbroken or just trying to lure in an INFJ woman? You seem to be holding up well. :rolli:
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
Give me a break... are you setting a trap? Are you actually heartbroken or just trying to lure in an INFJ woman? You seem to be holding up well. :rolli:

Cock blocker.

What is healthy anyway? To whose standards? I tend to think that everybody is broken. Some are more, some are less. What matters is how they deal with it.


What comes to heartbreak and dealing with it, I agree with Jennifer that it should be embraced, figured out and then let go.

Psychological pain is definitely a part of it. You only get your heart broken when you let people close to your heart. It's actually the analyzing part that hurts the most, going over every little detail and figuring out why this happened. However, this is necessary and a part of the letting go process.

I don't think of broken or unbroken. I think of people who want to be healthy and those that have given up. Otherwise, I think I agree with you.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
Cock blocker.


Damn skippy. If I have to work so hard for my INFJ, I'll be damned if he gets it so easy...



btw, I should mention, he's not technically my INFJ yet, so I'm actually still available if there are any interested INFJ male parties out there. *coughs*
:cheese:
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
Damn skippy. If I have to work so hard for my INFJ, I'll be damned if he gets it so easy...



btw, I should mention, he's not technically my INFJ yet, so I'm actually still available if there are any interested INFJ male parties out there. *coughs*
:cheese:

FAIL.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
When the mind and emotions are in a state of anxiety and distress, the natural tendency is towards exaggerated thinking and tunnel vision. People often agonize themselves after a heartbreak by having moments when they only remember the bad and start to become overwhelmed with bitterness and anger, or the opposite, they remember only the beautiful cherished moments and heighten their sense of loss.

There can also be a problem with projecting into the future. Feeling loss of an idealized future is irrational. The relationship ended because that idealized future was not an option.

By holding your mind steady and remembering the good with the bad you realize that while there is some loss, there is also something to be gained. It holds anger and grief in check and you realize this was simply a necessary step in life.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
Thank you Synarch

Good luck! You won't need it.

I'm obviously not even trying. If I were, I would have posted a prayer. But he beat me to it, so...

Why can't you be happy for people?

haterade.gif
 
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