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  1. #81
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nyota View Post
    I'm definitely the "fuck out".... lived and learned.
    Congratulations. You dodged a bullet that takes down many. Consider yourself lucky if there were no children or other consequences other than lost time.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  2. #82
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    Would it help to identify the actual qualities in her that you are drawn to and realize that with certainty there are other women who possess the same qualities that are alone and would respond to you?
    The human mind is not that comforted with probabilities...this is why gambling is such an addiction, the risk (and payoff), entrenched within uncertainty, is the appeal.

    * with certainty, there may be others just like her, with doubt, there may not be likelihood that he shall have another like her.

  3. #83
    Member Nyota's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    INFJs seem very susceptible to these types of relationships because they are so concerned with the internal well-being of others.
    Yes, it's a fine line of selfishness and selflessness we must walk.
    INFj. 4w5.
    Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one!'
    --C.S. Lewis

  4. #84
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    INFJs seem very susceptible to these types of relationships because they are so concerned with the internal well-being of others.
    They also often have trouble looking after their own needs.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #85
    Member Nyota's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Congratulations. You dodged a bullet that takes down many. Consider yourself lucky if there were no children or other consequences other than lost time.
    Thanks! I'm indeed very blessed.
    INFj. 4w5.
    Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one!'
    --C.S. Lewis

  6. #86
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    They also often have trouble looking after their own needs.
    Their needs are others' needs. Odd, I know.

  7. #87
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    Their needs are others' needs. Odd, I know.
    Just seems rather self-effacing and masochistic. But, I do admit to appreciating a more nurturing person. Past a certain point, it becomes unhealthy. I also want them to be strong.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  8. #88
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Just seems rather self-effacing and masochistic. But, I do admit to appreciating a more nurturing person. Past a certain point, it becomes unhealthy. I also want them to be strong.
    They are. Clearly so.

  9. #89

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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    Allow me, and I'll give you a cut of the profits (promise )

    I know ya'll got the skills. This is why during a prior meet-up I felt the need to give jenocyde props and remark that her entrepeneurial spirit in all things meant that she was an "opportunity actualizer." --Course, as the ENTJ present pointed out, this could justify bank robbery.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  10. #90
    almost half a doctor phoenix13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    Shoot!
    Accept it. Let yourself mourn for a fixed amount of time that you feel is appropriate (typically a month for heartbreak), and then move on. And by move on, I mean that even though your heart is sore, you don't wallow in it. You acknowledge it, let yourself feel it (ie. accept it), and just do your best to ignore it.

    During the mourning period, I suggest cathartic music. Listen to people singing about what you're going through, or things that are way way waaaayyyy worse (for example, Gorecki's 3rd Symphony movt. 2, where a teen in a gastapo prison sings to her mother who she'll never see again, telling her not to cry... Jesus, imagine being that mother and never knowing what happened to your kid, only knowing that she's somewhere suffering... ouch). This helps you keep things in perspective, so you remember that your life isn't over, and you're not alone in your sufferings, etc.

    "OMG I FEEEEEEEEEL SO INTENSELY ABOUT EVERYTHING OMG OMG OMG GET ME A XANAX" -Priam (ENFP impersonation)

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