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  1. #111
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Oh, I see. She likes you, she wants you, she just can't admit to herself. Hmmm?
    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    Yup. You hit the center of the bullseye. Not the center of the target. The bullseye. Nice Shooting
    When optimism takes on the reins of idealism to force out a reality, it is best to fight against those reins, move against the wants to achieve, and wallow in skepticism. This, I am sure, is quite hard for ENTPs...however, within those extremes, you would most probably find the answer.

    Never see a person as a challenge to be conquered. It loses their personhood, and yours, in the process. Which, even if conquered, makes for an illusion of reality. Relationship.

  2. #112
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    Please expand.
    I want you to try to expand it yourself first and offer up possible interpretations.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  3. #113
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    Never see a person as a challenge to be conquered. It loses their personhood, and yours, in the process.
    I like that. Most profound thing I have read today.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  4. #114
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    Insanity? Haha well being in love can certainly seem like it.
    Acknowledged. Though, just be sure to stay moored to reality, my friend. You are flirting with dangerous depths.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #115
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    Never see a person as a challenge to be conquered. It loses their personhood, and yours, in the process. Which, even if conquered, makes for an illusion of reality. Relationship.


    Couldn't have said it better. I sometimes think ENTPs treat INFJs as a challenge. This is unsettling.

  6. #116
    lurking.... Wyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    Really..Like buying houses with a guy who won't get a ring on her finger? After 7 yrs?

    Any woman of this value would be taken by 23 or 24. Meaning married. You would understand. This is a paradox.
    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    Perhaps I was unclear in my conversation with her.

    I should inform her I offer her a serious, committed, long-term relationship. If she knows that she can make her informed decision. Maybe months later perhaps.

    What do you suggest now? Any ideas INFJs? Synarch?
    When did the house-buying BS start? Has that always been part of the equation because today is the first I've heard of it.

    Well, I think if she somehow doesn't know you really like her, she's an idiot. Meaning, she's GOT to know you like her. So, why would an INFJ stay in a relationship like that? It's possible she's trying to salvage/improve the relationship through building a home with 7yr-loser. INFJs always are thinking of the future and fantasizing about 'what could be', often to our loss.

    Like Jeno said, your INFJ is in complete control of the situation - she' not going to do anything she doesn't want to do. I think that once she buys that house with the dude, there's going to be a CONSIDERABLE sunk cost in that relationship (not to mention the previous 7 years), making it even more difficult to leave the relationship in the future, at which point I think you won't have much of a chance.

    If you're going to do something about this and have no regrets either way, I'd say it's time to man up and tell her clearly and plainly to go with you and leave the guy. Frankly, I'm surprised she hasn't already left him if she's serious about a possibility with you. Furthermore, the whole house thing raises the hair on the back of my neck as to how healthy of an INFJ she is (if she truly is unsatisfied in the relationship) - SO BE CAREFUL with what you decide. Weight the costs well. You don't want to wind up with a co-dependant INFJ on your hands...

    That's my 2 cents.

  7. #117
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post


    Couldn't have said it better. I sometimes think ENTPs treat INFJs as a challenge. This is unsettling.
    I imagine you must all be rather unsettled by the INFJ adulation 'round these parts? It is a bit like a brush fire started with hopes of flushing out the prey that ends up burning down the forest. 'Twould make me a bit nervous myself.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  8. #118
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wyst View Post
    When did the house-buying BS start? Has that always been part of the equation because today is the first I've heard of it.

    Well, I think if she somehow doesn't know you really like her, she's an idiot. Meaning, she's GOT to know you like her. So, why would an INFJ stay in a relationship like that? It's possible she's trying to salvage/improve the relationship through building a home with 7yr-loser. INFJs always are thinking of the future and fantasizing about 'what could be', often to our loss.

    Like Jeno said, your INFJ is in complete control of the situation - she' not going to do anything she doesn't want to do. I think that once she buys that house with the dude, there's going to be a CONSIDERABLE sunk cost in that relationship (not to mention the previous 7 years), making it even more difficult to leave the relationship in the future, at which point I think you won't have much of a chance.

    If you're going to do something about this and have no regrets either way, I'd say it's time to man up and tell her clearly and plainly to go with you and leave the guy. Frankly, I'm surprised she hasn't already left him if she's serious about a possibility with you. Furthermore, the whole house thing raises the hair on the back of my neck as to how healthy of an INFJ she is (if she truly is unsatisfied in the relationship).

    If you're going to rescue her out of a situation she's choosing to stay in, coaxing with softing wooing may not work anymore. Sometimes a damsel in distress needs to be swung over the shoulder of the knight and carried away.

    That's my 2 cents.
    WTF!! This is a person...a woman, we're talking about, right? Like, one with autonomy and choices??!!

  9. #119
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    WTF!! This is a person...a woman, we're talking about, right? Like, one with autonomy and choices??!!
    Perhaps INFJ men are just as clueless as ENTP men?
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  10. #120
    lurking.... Wyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    WTF!! This is a person...a woman, we're talking about, right? Like, one with autonomy and choices??!!
    Yeah. Actually the more I thought about it - I didn't like it.
    I'm more worried about why she's apparently decided to stay with the guy.

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