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[ENFJ] How can I gauge if I am a "healthy" version of my type?

SaltyWench

New member
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
142
MBTI Type
xxxx
That's rather vague. And also, it's impossible to completely rid yourself of all negative, unhealthy aspects. In an unhealthy situation, the healthy response is to act rather unhealthy, lol.

Seriously though, I'd look up ENFJs under stress, ENFJ shadow... etc as a starting point.

P.S. You could work on not being vague. You ENFJs tend to be damn good at being vague, I swear! You do it in a cool way, so props on that one. But... say what you mean. Be blunt. Etc.
 

Jonathanthegreat

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2009
Messages
166
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Blunt response: I want to be an ideal mate for a marriage partner. Therefore according to Keirsey two "healthy" versions of each type can co-exist with ease. I want to be a healthy version of myself for that reason and also who wants to be an "unhealthy" version of themselves? I want to be the healthiest ENFJ I can be!
 

Kyrielle

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,294
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Blunt response: I want to be an ideal mate for a marriage partner. Therefore according to Keirsey two "healthy" versions of each type can co-exist with ease. I want to be a healthy version of myself for that reason and also who wants to be an "unhealthy" version of themselves? I want to be the healthiest ENFJ I can be!

Step One: Become aware of your own flaws.

Step Two: Do not blame those flaws on anything (like your MBTI type) and accept them as a part of yourself.

Step Three: Find out why these flaws exist. (Most often they have some reasoning that is not apparent at first.)

Step Four: Find a better solution to the reason you discovered in Step Three.

Step Five: Implement that solution into your life until it becomes adopted (like a habit).
 

Moiety

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
5,996
MBTI Type
ISFJ
If you keep taking tests, and you keep getting a J letter at the end of your type code, it means you are still unhealthy.
 

INA

now! in shell form
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,195
MBTI Type
intp
How much ass do you kiss?
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
If you keep taking tests, and you keep getting a J letter at the end of your type code, it means you are still unhealthy.

Ahahahahah! Beyond awesome.
 

SaltyWench

New member
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
142
MBTI Type
xxxx
Blunt response: I want to be an ideal mate for a marriage partner. Therefore according to Keirsey two "healthy" versions of each type can co-exist with ease. I want to be a healthy version of myself for that reason and also who wants to be an "unhealthy" version of themselves? I want to be the healthiest ENFJ I can be!

Okay, blue is unhealthy. Prune that out. Red is good, keep that.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i have to agree with the wench. you have to be okay with who you are and work on the things that are challenging for you and don't let other people define you....or ya know...what sy said. :cheese:
 

SaltyWench

New member
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
142
MBTI Type
xxxx
don't let other people define you

This is probably the mistake I observe most in ENFJs. They change to accommodate other people, and eventually lose themselves. This seems to happen especially to ENFJs who have a drive to save other people. They'll do anything to become that person's Superman. While this could theoretically work in certain temporary situations, in reality the ENFJ is usually trying to save someone who never will be saved, either due to genuinely being a lost cause or because this mentality tends to attract users and abusers to the ENFJ who will never be 'healed', hence forever keeping the tie that binds the two together.

ENFJs, never compromise on who you are. If you aren't sure of who you are yet, you are not ready for a relationship. Find yourself first. Remember, if you want to give, to make a contribution, to help people, you must first help yourself. Always, there are no exceptions. Once you know who you are, stick to your guns and always be true to yourself.
 

iwakar

crush the fences
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
4,877
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
The blue text might be motivation for the red text saltywench. Let it happen. Eventually, his priorities will shift in the process of doing the right thing.

I think everyone goes through this. Something inspires or motivates us, and we take the opportunity to better ourselves. But in bettering ourselves, our priorities change and good things happen, including whatever motivated us to begin with.
 

ENFJ_Catholic

New member
Joined
May 23, 2009
Messages
136
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Hang in there and just realize you are the person you are supposed to be, first and foremost. All else will flow from the self-actualization you need to first find. Be happy with yourself first. :)
 

SaltyWench

New member
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
142
MBTI Type
xxxx
The blue text might be motivation for the red text saltywench. Let it happen. Eventually, his priorities will shift in the process of doing the right thing.

I am very well aware of his motivations. He asked for advice, I gave it, and he can "Let it happen." if he really wants to. Experience is the best teacher, although scarring is a common side effect.
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
I've always wondered about the "healthy/unhealthy" thing. Anything bad is always an "unhealthy" xxxx. Not sure it really works that way.
 
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