User Tag List

12311 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 147

  1. #1
    Senior Member Scarfism's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    120

    Default INFJs and Hate/Revenge

    When there is someone who has either done something to me or acted in a certain way towards me (unpleasant of course), I immediately put them on my "sh*t list" and from that moment on, I may go out of my way to make things difficult for them. Not in a way that it would be harmful, but I would not go out of my way for them. Are any other INFJs here that are the same way? Okay, at times, I may do something evil as revenge (as long as this does not go against my own values).

    Are INFJs pretty black and white when it comes to liking and hating people? For myself, if somebody does not engage me, I really don't have any interest in conversing with them.

  2. #2
    violaine
    Guest

    Default

    They go on the list but I don't take revenge. I tend to wipe them from the face of my own little world instead by completely ignoring them. I may wish that person ill for a time (deservedly, it takes a lot to get to that point) but can't stand the idea of lowering myself to being provoked into anything further.

    Moreso than personal clashes (unless they are slandering me or meddling in a relationship) I tend to only really get inflamed about someone treating others poorly. Particularly hypocritical people or those that have all the sympathy in the world for themselves (poor me!) but none for others. Can't stand that. I will express that as disdain, completely lose interest in that person and will keep them well away from me.

  3. #3
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,587

    Default

    Based on type descriptions and comments from people who identify as INFJ, this way of relating does seem to correspond to the type.

    I don't think that way. I see everything in terms of multiple possibilities, shades of grey, and existing on a continuum. There is not such a thing as black-and-white in any form of my thinking except as abstract representations are the extremes of a pole of thought. There are others who identify as INFJ who think similarly to me and like I said others who have clearer lines of distinction in their thoughts like you describe.

    The closest I come to what you describe occurs when someone makes me feel threatened. I will make certain they are outside my life because I don't have the energy to deal with that and see no reason to. From a conceptual standpoint I don't draw absolute conclusions about the person except that there is at least a 51% chance they are going to continue whatever behavior made me feel threatened. I then organize external boundaries in a more absolute way then what represents my thinking, but this is done for practical reasons.

    It's a rather profound contrast to be present within a single category, but as far as I know it is the case.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  4. #4
    Senior Member MrME's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    383

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Scarfism View Post
    When there is someone who has either done something to me or acted in a certain way towards me (unpleasant of course), I immediately put them on my "sh*t list" and from that moment on, I may go out of my way to make things difficult for them. Not in a way that it would be harmful, but I would not go out of my way for them. Are any other INFJs here that are the same way? Okay, at times, I may do something evil as revenge (as long as this does not go against my own values).
    Unpleasantness doesn't get somebody put on my shitlist. Many people are unpleasant and it's pretty easy to blow them off. In order for somebody to get on my shitlist, they have to cross a major line with me. Once that happens, I cease caring for them, doing them favors, hanging out with them, etc.

    Revenge is worthless and it can come around to bite you in the ass.

    Are INFJs pretty black and white when it comes to liking and hating people? For myself, if somebody does not engage me, I really don't have any interest in conversing with them.
    Nothing is black and white for me.
    INFJ
    4w5

  5. #5
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII
    Posts
    3,067

    Default

    People may get X-ed out of my life depending on the severity of the offense. But revenge is not my thing; it would only hurt me in the process. I don't think I "hate" anyone but there are people I choose not to associate with because they bring more grief to my life than joy.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Scarfism's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    120

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MrME View Post
    ...In order for somebody to get on my shitlist, they have to cross a major line with me. Once that happens, I cease caring for them, doing them favors, hanging out with them, etc.
    I agree with this actually. I usually exhibit this behaviour if it is with somebody that I cared for and they have hurt me in some way. Perhaps that is my revenge.

  7. #7
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INfj
    Enneagram
    451 sx/so
    Socionics
    ENFj Ni
    Posts
    5,651

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    Based on type descriptions and comments from people who identify as INFJ, this way of relating does seem to correspond to the type.

    I don't think that way. I see everything in terms of multiple possibilities, shades of grey, and existing on a continuum. There is not such a thing as black-and-white in any form of my thinking except as abstract representations are the extremes of a pole of thought. There are others who identify as INFJ who think similarly to me and like I said others who have clearer lines of distinction in their thoughts like you describe.
    +2
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  8. #8
    Senior Member Scarfism's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    8w9
    Posts
    120

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    People may get X-ed out of my life depending on the severity of the offense. But revenge is not my thing; it would only hurt me in the process. I don't think I "hate" anyone but there are people I choose not to associate with because they bring more grief to my life than joy.
    Just curious, once you X them out, do you ever let them back in? As well, are you able to X people out cold turkey (as long as they have an idea why they have been X-ed out)?

  9. #9
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII
    Posts
    3,067

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Scarfism View Post
    Just curious, once you X them out, do you ever let them back in?
    If they sincerely ask for another try, maybe.
    As well, are you able to X people out cold turkey (as long as they have an idea why they have been X-ed out)?
    Yes. And they would have an idea why. Or they can always ask and I'll discuss the situation with them.

  10. #10
    Aspie Idealist TaylorS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    972 so/sp
    Socionics
    EII Ni
    Posts
    365

    Default

    I definitely have a little mental sh*t-list of people I hate. I tend to take things personally it it can take me a while to come to my senses and stop stupid vendettas.
    Autistic INFP


Similar Threads

  1. [NF] INFJ and INFP Females: What do you hate/love about them?
    By Rebe in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 05-15-2014, 03:28 PM
  2. [NF] INFJ and INFP males: What do you hate/love about them?
    By jtanSis1 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 70
    Last Post: 08-17-2010, 04:14 PM
  3. [INFJ] INFJs and Single-Mindedness
    By Kiddo in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: 11-23-2009, 06:39 PM
  4. [INFJ] INFJ and Compliments
    By chippinchunk in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 01-24-2008, 09:20 AM
  5. [INFJ] INFJ and grief
    By tovlo in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 12-21-2007, 06:49 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO