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[INFJ] INFJs and Hate/Revenge

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
it can for some. are you answering my question? i don't want to retype it.

also, my intense relationships developed after messing around, as i've said on another thread. so, i'd personally disagree with the aforementioned statement.

I did not see a question in there. Right, intimacy develops as a result of the sex rather than on its own. To me, this is the essential problem.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I did not see a question in there. Right, intimacy develops as a result of the sex rather than on its own. To me, this is the essential problem.

guess you just have to have the experience, my friend.

meh, i dunno. i agree with you to a degree. depends on how long you wait and how hardcore you are about it. sex is a natural part of being human, so if you deny yourself sex for too long, or if you can't find someone you want to spend the 'rest of your life with' but you can find someone you want to sleep with, well, ????you can follow my line of thinking.......i think abstinence is unhealthy after a period of time. to link the two together is like linking religion with government. it just doesn't always work.

wish you the best though. i love talking/philosophizing about sex.

that point. or are you immune to physical attraction until you are emotionally attracted to someone?

if i don't respond, it's cuz i gotta go snuggle my hubby :) night night, all.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
guess you just have to have the experience, my friend.

Either the sex creates the emotional intimacy or the emotional intimacy develops on its own. If it develops on its own, I believe it is more reliable than if it is created by way of sexuality. You are welcome to disagree, but I have done it both ways and my conclusions come from this experience.

that point. or are you immune to physical attraction until you are emotionally attracted to someone?

if i don't respond, it's cuz i gotta go snuggle my hubby :) night night, all.

Of course I am not immune to attraction. I just think it's likely best to act on the attraction (in terms of intercourse) until you marry.
 

Halla74

Artisan Conquerer
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
6,898
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Either the sex creates the emotional intimacy or the emotional intimacy develops on its own. If it develops on its own, I believe it is more reliable than if it is created by way of sexuality. You are welcome to disagree, but I have done it both ways and my conclusions come from this experience.

Agreed. This has happened to me both ways as described above. Emotional intimacy that developes outside of sex will continue to exist if the sex ceases. This is the type of emotional intimacy that friends can have, no sex involved, just a mutual fondness, understanding, and acceptance of each other as they are to each other. That's great stuff to have in your life. It's even better if it is with your SO.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
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INfj
Enneagram
451
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sx/so
Either the sex creates the emotional intimacy or the emotional intimacy develops on its own. If it develops on its own, I believe it is more reliable than if it is created by way of sexuality. You are welcome to disagree, but I have done it both ways and my conclusions come from this experience.



Of course I am not immune to attraction. I just think it's likely best to act on the attraction (in terms of intercourse) until you marry.

kuhl. may the force be with you and your kind.
but if you start to notice nervous tics encroaching, you prolly need to get some.....just sayin'

til we meet again, syn--------
 

Trefle

New member
Joined
May 13, 2009
Messages
53
MBTI Type
INFJ
O_O the thread's been swayed so much :D

anyway *sits back and watch* It's interesting to read.

IMO, emotional attachment will decrease if the source / the reason it were created in the first place were ceased / unable to satisfy both parties. That works on every relationship, I think, and including those created from sex, love, fidelity, anything~
 

Serendipity

the Dark Prophet of Kualu
Joined
Mar 24, 2009
Messages
852
MBTI Type
RAD
you are having occasional 3somes ? Ouh my, why aint I livin in Americah ! :D

Happens in scandinavia too, and that is quite close to you. ;)
I have friends who tell me Amsterdam has even a higher success rate for threesomes, so you might want to just go there. It's not that far from germany, is it?

(synarch)
I think sex should be sacred. Between man and wife. Is it really so difficult to wait? You can still make out and everything else. Why is this so revolutionary now?

Why wait? What makes it less sacred? o_O And is sex really sacred? We've had sex for a longer time than we've had the word "sacred". It's still a time where two core's meet and everytime, something new is learned. No matter how long you have lived. No matter if it is casual on a club, a one-night-stand at home or with a/many SO/'s.

So please tell me exactly; what makes it into a malicious act?
If excercised before marriage.

I will treasure what you have to say so please do not just say "I won't understand." I might not, but I give a damn about trying.

O_O the thread's been swayed so much :D

anyway *sits back and watch* It's interesting to read.

IMO, emotional attachment will decrease if the source / the reason it were created in the first place were ceased / unable to satisfy both parties. That works on every relationship, I think, and including those created from sex, love, fidelity, anything~

+1
 

Perseus Curse

New member
Joined
Aug 16, 2018
Messages
1
MBTI Type
INFJ
I agree with the initial post as my default "door slam." I may dissect the unfortunate foes' character to their core before I leave (I like to think it's a loud slam before the door closes). But, that's the point when my attack ends, but during that phase, the point of no return, I'm invigorated.

*disclaimer: I use metaphors to illustrate my point of view (INFJ thingy), here I like to use Star Wars and Vampire lore metaphors.

Being endowed with "the counselor" and "the protector," when my "protector" circuit is activated, I step up to bullies, with the mindset, I'm all in to make him or her stop. I Jedi Mind trick them with precision guided psychological jabs, with soul piercing gaze to make sure they get what Im saying on a soul level, I'm fully committed to fight as a fall back, adds to my convincing and convictions stance. Bullies beware.

However, when I'm betrayed by a friend turned frienemy, and are of the cluster b category (no to low empathy) I get fired up to go head to head with interests, it's surgical and it's improv in the moment, so I don't have tactics, just strategy. I use their core issues, and drive a stake through their hearts. The darker the soul (dark triad) the more I'm invigorated, and I feel, INFJs are polar opposite to the darkest predators. INFJ have the same reading of people as a dark triad, but our compassion adds to our character, where they are predictable in patterns, our depth gives us an edge. I get pretty good at predicting the next move, sometimes surprised, but that just adds to my web of intuition and can only make me stronger. But, the dark triads are sadistic, and I get a trapped lone wolf mentality that's Machiavellian (being evil for the common good version). My subconscious picks up on everything, I connect the dots, I see the possible future outcomes. Wolves in sheep clothing are shocked to see my namaste change into a lone wolf, maybe its their energy I absorbed, but lone wolves are strong to leave a pack, and when injured (emotionally and/or psychologically) I'm a force to be reckon with, I'm a Master Jedi up against a Sith Lord, in real time I'm gathering info in disguised as flattery, I'm making remarks that slips under their radars that I'm aware, as my "hey, if you were paying attention I was cluing you in." (protector circuit).

I reach my tolerance top level, then the slam door circuit kicks in...game over (out of sight, out of mind)

I owe my enhancement to my INFJ traits to my developing observing ego skills.
 

Froody Blue Gem

Necromancing Scapelamb
Joined
Dec 19, 2018
Messages
1,141
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
954
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I have a tendency to hold grudges. I try to let things go but I have trouble doing so. As time passes, the anger fades to indifference but the person is stuck in a negative light for me. With tiny little things, I can easily let things go and don't like to think of myself as a generally spiteful person. However, when the offense gets more serious, I am not so forgiving.

If people hurt me or people that I care about. I tend to remember things people say and do a little too well and I have trouble forgetting. Once people are on my bad side, it's hard for them to get back on my good side but there were times when I've managed to realize it was a misunderstanding and start over on a new foot.
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
I'm not sure this issue is type related. I suppose my opinion of people is formed partly by my initial gut reaction and then by observing that patterns that emerge. A major breach of trust or acting inconsistent probably lessens my desire to interact much with them, but I don't think I'd paint it in terms of seeking revenge. Sometimes it does take awhile for a strong emotional charge (positive or negative) to wear off though so I feel more objective.
 
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