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  1. #111
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Thank you for clarifying.

    By definition both marrying before 25 AND cohabitation are two factors that contribute to a greater likelihood of divorece down the road.

    For me and my wife, from my perspective, the part of meeting young that was detrimental was, as you said NEITHER of us having a good sense of who WE were, let alone of how a ESTP/7w8 male and an INFJ/4w5 female were supposed to get along.

    These differences manifested as ACTIONS not WORDS. Words (meaningful) were few and far between as she was reticent to engage me and I took it for granted that because a nuclear bomb had not gone off in my house that all was OK.

    A picture is worth a thousand words.
    Actions speak louder than words.
    I dare say that actions, especially the right actions, at the right times, are worth a thousand pictures.

  2. #112
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Thank you for clarifying.

    By definition both marrying before 25 AND cohabitation are two factors that contribute to a greater likelihood of divorece down the road.

    For me and my wife, from my perspective, the part of meeting young that was detrimental was, as you said NEITHER of us having a good sense of who WE were, let alone of how a ESTP/7w8 male and an INFJ/4w5 female were supposed to get along.

    These differences manifested as ACTIONS not WORDS. Words (meaningful) were few and far between as she was reticent to engage me and I took it for granted that because a nuclear bomb had not gone off in my house that all was OK.

    A picture is worth a thousand words.
    Actions speak louder than words.
    I dare say that actions, especially the right actions, at the right times, are worth a thousand pictures.
    I always try to tell my friends not to cohabitate. If you're in love, get married right?
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  3. #113
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I always try to tell my friends not to cohabitate. If you're in love, get married right?
    At this point in life, I agree with you. I would have married my wife right after our first date, no shit. Let the cohabitation be a mystery...

  4. #114
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    At this point in life, I agree with you. I would have married my wife right after our first date, no shit. Let the cohabitation be a mystery...
    I think people do this because they are afraid or unsure and they somehow think living together will give them certainty. Folly.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #115
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I think people do this because they are afraid or unsure and they somehow think living together will give them certainty. Folly.
    And beacuse of the analysis paralysis transmitted by divorce statistics in general...

  6. #116
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    And beacuse of the analysis paralysis transmitted by divorce statistics in general...
    I honestly think people really don't realize how damaging it can be. They figure if we live together and it works the next step is marriage! Wrong. I actually don't believe in premarital sex either.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  7. #117
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I think people do this because they are afraid or unsure and they somehow think living together will give them certainty. Folly.
    not always. i lived with my man because we were in college and were focused on school, but lived in the same apartments and were in love and having LOTS of sex anyway and he was close to graduating; and planning a wedding etc. would have been ridiculous, so living together was just logical.

    i have no regrets. it's not always a bad thing.

    besides, who said marriage is the best relationship paradigm anyway? maybe living together is better......?
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
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    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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  8. #118
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I honestly think people really don't realize how damaging it can be. They figure if we live together and it works the next step is marriage! Wrong. I actually don't believe in premarital sex either.
    That's hardcore.

  9. #119
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    not always. i lived with my man because we were in college and were focused on school, but lived in the same apartments and were in love and having LOTS of sex anyway and he was close to graduating; and planning a wedding etc. would have been ridiculous, so living together was just logical.

    i have no regrets. it's not always a bad thing.

    besides, who said marriage is the best relationship paradigm anyway? maybe living together is better......?
    I know a little how you live. Not really my thing. No offense.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  10. #120
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    That's hardcore.
    It is worth mentioning that I have both lived with people (more than once) and am also no virgin, by any means. I have come to this conclusion after 14 years of living as an adult.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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