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[ENFJ] I'd like some advice from some ENFJ's :)

Jonathanthegreat

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Apr 30, 2009
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So my fellow extraverted feelers :)

I'd like to know what types you've dated and how it went with each type, also do you have a way of quickly falling for someone? I know I do, WHEN the person is special to me of course.

Any help would be loved thanks so much!
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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Hello, Johnathon. :) I'd be happy to discuss it.

Do you know what types you tend to go for yourself? Or are you new to the idea and just trying to establish a personal pattern of past relationships?

I'm a hard sell. I don't fall in love easily or out of it easily. My interest can be piqued and I may find a fascinating object, but love? No. That's serious.

I've dated NTPs and STPs. My first "boyfriend" at 16 was an SP. I was really shy then, a tomboy, and unsure of myself. He was a great guy really. A hell-raiser but very sweet and good-natured. Everybody knew him at school. He was one of the girl-worshiped jocks, and I can still remember the two of us spotting each other at the bus station, and nodding across bodies like "Yep. Gonna date THAT."

INTP, master mechanic, genius prone, bumpy ride, still friends. Didn't go badly because of type. Went badly because of personal problems.

ISTP, another mechanic, terribly sharp, *powerful* mutual attraction. Drug addict. I had never been so in love with anyone in my life. It was like being functionally insane. We could predict each other, even over the phone. It was easy. I still get a weird ripple effect in my brain when I think about him.

ENTP, yes, another mechanic. Mentally dazzling, easy going, witty, calm, so beautiful. I had no intention of ever liking him but he made sure that I did. We fell in together pretty much right away, and became this mythical pair (the garage was a gossip mill.... and you think *women* talk about each other?...). It was tacitly understood that I was "his girl" and no body hit on me because of it. Ultimately we were kept apart by an arcane but very real and operational socio-economic divide. He was "someone" and I was not. I probably would have married him. We made a dynamic affectionate set.

I have had other entanglements with INTPs and ENTPs, but I think what I've written is pretty adequate.
 

entropie

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´:/ cool people dont kiss and tell
 

Domino

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LadyJaye

Scream down the boulevard
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I don't see how Pink was " kissing and telling"? This is a site based off of people's personal experiences, so talking modestly about situations she's been through is hardly divulging unnecessary information, or betraying a confidence. I don't see any place where she persecuted, or spoke in a slanderous manner about, anyone she was mentioning.
 

illume

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My dating experiences were almost completely with SP's before I got married. I was pretty wild during my youth, so it stands to reason that I "mixed it up" with a disproportionate number of these types. Here is the breakdown:

First LTR in college ISFP, total stoner, mooch, aimless like a lost puppy. While I was pretty aimless too, this guy could have been a body double for a zombie. And I was too young to take care of two people..... Wore thin really fast.

Fun fling with a handsome ISTP that was cut short when he was sent to prison for grand theft auto. Nice, eh?

The ESTP who couldn't pull out of the driveway without pulling my clothes off. That went nowhere. Fast.

LTR also in college with an ESFP alcoholic, cheater. If his mouth was open he was telling a lie. Very verbally abusive. Complete loser dipshit.

I would never involve myself with an SP after my experiences with them... There are more than what I have written about here. But I am certain there are good ones out there, I just never was involved with one. :dont:
 

Jonathanthegreat

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any more enfj's out there with advice? Thank you to the one female enfj who replied. I find myself attracted to ESTP females. Yet, i feel kinda like there is a slight glass wall between us to "connect" fully. not to sure of it. but yea thats what i think. funny story about estp male and ripping your clothes off lol. hope you don't take offense to that "illume"
 

Domino

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ESTP, eh? You like the Ultimate Human? They're the cannonballs and we're the rubber bullets. :D *laughs*

Any girl in particular?
 

illume

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any more enfj's out there with advice? Thank you to the one female enfj who replied. I find myself attracted to ESTP females. Yet, i feel kinda like there is a slight glass wall between us to "connect" fully. not to sure of it. but yea thats what i think. funny story about estp male and ripping your clothes off lol. hope you don't take offense to that "illume"

No offense, however I do frequently test out as an ENFJ. Hence the reason for my reply. I think of myself more as an ENFP. But I do have a lot of experience in the dating/mating arena. :heart:
 

Domino

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Ultimate human? Cannon balls? rubber bullets?

explain!

ESTPs = cat 5 hurricanes. haha! Just try to stop one. The brakes don't work! :D Compared to their force of nature, we're just little rubber bullets.

I tend to believe that STJs and SFJs are ideally suited to compliment (and anchor) their uniquely powerful personalities. I'm not implying something bad about ESTPs - on the contrary, there's really nothing like them. Granted, the dynamic might be different with you being the male and the ESTP being a female. Male ESTPs, from my experience, are nuclear powered, calm or not. Many of my male friends are ESTP, and some of them have been very kind and cavalier towards me and my sister in times of crisis.

I'd mentioned an ESTP friend of mine, a cavalier himself. He saw me crying over a break-up with someone I loved a lot, and he was just beside himself to see me in tears. A very tough guy. Ex-military. Covered in tattoos. Giving little ol' me a cuddle to comfort me and get me calm. It was very sweet. I felt a lot better for it.

They have so many contrasts and levels to their personality.
 

Nocapszy

no clinkz 'til brooklyn
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pinkle said:
ESTP, eh? You like the Ultimate Human? They're the cannonballs and we're the rubber bullets.
i boast to best any ESTP to cross me or anyone else.
well... this kind of has nothing to do with the thread but even still, it needs to be said.

maybe i'll make a thread in the SP column.
 

Domino

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i boast to best any ESTP to cross me or anyone else.
well... this kind of has nothing to do with the thread but even still, it needs to be said.

maybe i'll make a thread in the SP column.

Dear me! An ENTP/ESTP dance battle! Space time is going to rip. :doh:
 
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