User Tag List

First 4567 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 65

  1. #51
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    infj
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,460

    Default

    i'm realizing that developing the ability to deal with stress more productively, withstand it without losing ground, breaking its waves and staying determined, focused, etc is really the principle thing i need to focus on to give myself the resources i need to do something productive. and a little more discipline.

    routine, to some degree, does help us. employing many different techniques to control ourselves like our own marionette, but still maintaining a nice healthy god complex of self-determination and free willl. everything they say about infjs (and intjs probably too, for that matter) needing to spend serious effort and attention taking care of their physical health rings true for me. it's too easy to totally lose sight of Se, to get stuck in an NiTi self-justification loop, to become selfishly motivated e4 Fe examples of unhealth or undergoing a nice Fe implosion and going into hiding like an e5. we have to confront everything first with Fe to become strong, to develop confidence and composure and faith in our ability to navigate the external world. this is the first foundation for us to test ourselves and become realistic, to absorb negativity and be able to deflect it and redirect it into something more productive, losing the fear of being unable to control and maintain our own autonomy, our own values, and our sense of purpose.

  2. #52
    Member Ruby Tuesday's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    49

    Default

    All that has worked for me is a massive effort of will plus a new daily operating system that actually does motivate me to get things done rather than avoid and go into hiding because it appeals to the artist in me (it's a 'hipster PDA' type thing which is highly organised but also creative; never resorted to such before, but it's working). I've also grown to accept that while I'm a natural leader in temporary situations (i.e. training workshops) I am NOT a natural long-term manager of people, don't enjoy it, don't like myself when in such a role, shouldn't do it. If that affects my 'career' ladder, so be it. There comes a time when I have to work with what I have rather than pushing at its edges: supervising others (or more than 1 or 2 anyway) is the one place in my life where I've drawn that line. For everyone's sanity!

    Don't question why she needs to be so free
    She'll tell you it's the only way to be
    She just can't be chained to a
    Life where nothing's gained
    and nothing's lost
    at such a cost

  3. #53
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,938

    Default

    Stress over things like job uncertainty (which I’m having some of at the moment) makes me irritable and causes me to worry more than necessary, but the real killer for me is emotional stress – which I seem to have really landed in again due to an unresolved situation with a guy I have feelings for.

    Unfortunately, this produces in me very strong physical symptoms of nausea, inability to eat, and exhaustion (I’ve experienced this several times before and normally it is strong emotional stress). At the moment I am not sure how long it is going to last or how it will resolve. I could act immediately to try and resolve the situation – even if the outcome was negative, it might bring me some closure/ability to move on – but due to circumstances I am probably going to have to wait a month or two anyway (and who knows, I might lose my nerve then). I really hope this doesn’t last that long…

    I really hate this stress reaction, and I don’t know how to change it. It can be quite debilitating and occasionally (not often) it pushes me to lash out in anger and frustration at the person who I think is causing it…which usually relieves the pressure for a short time, and then makes it worse when I realise what I’ve done. Talking with a sympathetic friend, which I did for several hours yesterday, is helpful, but the effects seem to be temporary.

  4. #54
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,135

    Default

    I absolutely identify with that. I have very strong physical symptoms of nausea and exhaustion when I have unresolved emotional conflict. I also lash out occasionally when pushed to my very limits by a person I love, but then feel horribly and try to repair the damage. Usually it bothers me a lot more than them.

    Stress about something uncertain, a long separation from someone I care about or whatever else can produce systems so strong I have honestly thought I had the stomach flu and been surprised when I was done with the event that I was unsure of (eg huge exam that could include a very wide range of topics) and it was okay, the symptoms vanished instantly. Same with leaving somewhere - I will feel sick for days about leaving people I care about and then as soon as I am in the car, it is fine.

    Sometimes I find myself doing atypical things like watching long stretches of inane TV, doing things over and over, living on the computer etc. Everything in excess. Even things that I would normally buy for treats become daily fare in an attempt to feel better.

    I also identify with what Ruby Tuesday said about long term management of many people.

    When I have jobs to do that I do not know how to go at or which I have attempted without success, I tend to focus in on minute details and cannot see the forest for the trees. Then procrastination and inaction kick in, even when I understand intellectually what I am doing. I just don't know how to zoom back out and attack the thing. It tends to happen the more I care about doing a good job of something and results in not doing it or being rushed doing it.

    If I have tried to solve something without success, I find my brain trying to avoid anything that would remind me about it or make me deal with it. This causes the problem to become much bigger in my mind than it really is in reality. It rarely happens, but when it does, it is a horrible feeling.

  5. #55
    Member Ruby Tuesday's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    49

    Default

    If I have tried to solve something without success, I find my brain trying to avoid anything that would remind me about it or make me deal with it. This causes the problem to become much bigger in my mind than it really is in reality. It rarely happens, but when it does, it is a horrible feeling.
    Oh yikes I have gone through this so many times, and am stuck in such a whirlpool of my own making today as it happens. Any hints as to how to swim out greatly appreciated! (they seem to get worse each time too). (Will I never learn?)

    Don't question why she needs to be so free
    She'll tell you it's the only way to be
    She just can't be chained to a
    Life where nothing's gained
    and nothing's lost
    at such a cost

  6. #56
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,135

    Default

    I think if you have people to consult that have strengths in the areas you don't helps. Breaking it down to bite-sized pieces does too. But I also find I have a tendancy to hide the things about myself that I'm embarrassed of and in extreme cases deadlines that have gone past, so then I have to find a time to do it when those close to me believe it's already done with. That's rarely, but it does happen and is a terrible fault of mine and also adds to the already big burden of guilt.

  7. #57
    Member Ruby Tuesday's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    49

    Default

    Oh yea, oh yea. I'm in that club. (And as someone raised Catholic - though I'm not now - the guilt and shame can be overwhelming). Yet none of that is enough sometimes to press me to just 'get on with it'. Which is absurb. For an adult, supposedly intelligent person. I sometimes wonder though if there are lots of people like us, who are just scraping by in this why and living 'furtively', you know?

    Don't question why she needs to be so free
    She'll tell you it's the only way to be
    She just can't be chained to a
    Life where nothing's gained
    and nothing's lost
    at such a cost

  8. #58
    Junior Member Im gelir ceni ad lín's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    2

    Default

    Don't worry I recently discovered a rather large workload coming up and I've had the same symptoms. Inability to eat, sleeplessness, physically feeling quite ill. Stess is good for sending the body into a mess of biological responses that seem "over-reactive". I find a good novel with some interesting characters quickly restores my to my self again as well as problem solving.

  9. #59
    Member Ruby Tuesday's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    49

    Default

    Unfortunately reading has been my main route for procrastination / avoidance since I was about 3, so it just feeds my whirlpools! It's so true what Alice Miller says in 'The Drama of the Gifted Child': what can save you in childhood can really mess you up as an adult.

    Don't question why she needs to be so free
    She'll tell you it's the only way to be
    She just can't be chained to a
    Life where nothing's gained
    and nothing's lost
    at such a cost

  10. #60
    Member Jaded Idealist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Socionics
    INFj
    Posts
    34

    Default

    I notice a running theme here: we INFJs have a big huge desire to fulfill our sense of purpose and express our genuine sentiments that constantly gets shortchanged, and in the real world, that tends to equal massive amounts of stress. It's not unlike the ENFJ, except they are more reliant on other people (who are basically good) to attain their fulfillment, whereas for the INFJ the blind hustle and bustle of other people and their small talk is so sufficiently "fake", so tarnished by human excess and scorn, as to be a liability.

    Is INFJ possibly the most stressed out type overall?

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] INFJs and Stress
    By sheba1 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-09-2011, 03:15 AM
  2. [INFJ] INFJs and stress relief
    By Alchemilla in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 03-22-2011, 05:50 PM
  3. [MBTItm] INFJ goes to ESTP under stress?
    By karenk in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 04-20-2008, 09:03 AM
  4. Do you revert to your opposite type under stress?
    By DaRick in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 63
    Last Post: 02-03-2008, 04:54 PM
  5. Personality Types Under Stress
    By digesthisickness in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 11-10-2007, 09:51 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO