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  1. #41
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saffronsocks View Post
    I watch a HELL of a lot of Nigella Lawson cooking videos on Youtube. She's very comforting.
    Fi and food, yes please.

    I eat food angrily without tasting it
    not tasting food is very pertinent, not tasting anything really. can't hear music, can't see the trees, pretty much get no information whatsoever except that which fits perfectly into my present path as determined by the rut i am in. usually i'll become aware of something and kinda chuckle my way out of it, or at least release some steam until i am in a better place to get to the bottom of the situation.

  2. #42
    Member Ruby Tuesday's Avatar
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    After more than 40 years of not really encountering my shadow except in glimpses, moving countries for a job that turned out to suck sent me into a full year spiral of neglecting to keep in touch with anyone, procrastinating about everything especially work, developing very OCD habits connected with the physical world, and putting on a huge front to all and sundry that all was well. I became so exhausted and bored with and disconnected from myself and my own brain that I couldn't even work out what had happened to me, let alone escape from it. I'm still having backsliding days and I have a terrifying work mail inbox I have yet to confront, but I'm definitely on the mend. It took a major and sudden illness in a close family member to finally snap me out of it. Oh me oh my. I love being INFJ, but the shadow ... never again, please, despite all the insights I've been gifted with as a result of falling down that well for so long.

    Don't question why she needs to be so free
    She'll tell you it's the only way to be
    She just can't be chained to a
    Life where nothing's gained
    and nothing's lost
    at such a cost

  3. #43
    Member rooo's Avatar
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    My mother is an INFJ, and one that really doesn't handle stress well. It's a bit like walking on a minefield with her. What all of you describe she does, but at a much higher decibal level. Only thing I can do is stay out of her way. Sometimes she even throws childlike temper tantrums, stomping her feet and slamming doors. You cannot communicate with her. She's just like this wall of negativity. You say anything that causes her anxiety, she will come to the most overstreched conclusions and turn it into something really personal. In the car together I casually bring up the general topic of plastic surgery by saying "Everyone thinks their nose looks weird, even I have..." and wham! "You are obsessed! You need to get over that, it's solopsism!" as the car starts wobbling out of control. Oh how I hate when she uses her psychological terms. :steam: edit: to be fair, when she's had her guard down I have worried out loud about aging a couple times.

    My mother is probably a bit special in the stress-dealing department, I'm guessing most INFJs don't become quite as scary. The thing is is that when my mother is open and relaxed, she is fantastic to talk to and you feel like you can confide in her. You just have to be careful though as she might just quietly come to some very exaggerated conclusions which she'll hurl at you when you're not expecting it.

  4. #44
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rooo View Post
    My mother is an INFJ, and one that really doesn't handle stress well. It's a bit like walking on a minefield with her. What all of you describe she does, but at a much higher decibal level. Only thing I can do is stay out of her way. Sometimes she even throws childlike temper tantrums, stomping her feet and slamming doors. You cannot communicate with her. She's just like this wall of negativity. You say anything that causes her anxiety, she will come to the most overstreched conclusions and turn it into something really personal. In the car together I casually bring up the general topic of plastic surgery by saying "Everyone thinks their nose looks weird, even I have..." and wham! "You are obsessed! You need to get over that, it's solopsism!" as the car starts wobbling out of control. Oh how I hate when she uses her psychological terms. :steam: edit: to be fair, when she's had her guard down I have worried out loud about aging a couple times.

    My mother is probably a bit special in the stress-dealing department, I'm guessing most INFJs don't become quite as scary. The thing is is that when my mother is open and relaxed, she is fantastic to talk to and you feel like you can confide in her. You just have to be careful though as she might just quietly come to some very exaggerated conclusions which she'll hurl at you when you're not expecting it.
    Hmmmm overreactive Fe perhaps? Sometimes my mother goes through bouts of something similar to that. Becoming emotional about the topic of discussion and making references to things we weren't even talking about. Attempts to divert the talk onto more neutral grounds makes her even more upset. Because it seems to her we're trying to get her to be quiet before she got her point across when in reality we understood already but it wasn't relevant to the discussion. No door slams or throwing objects though thank goodness. Oh and she's ISFJ, not INFJ.
    My stuff (design & other junk) lives here: http://nnbox.ca

  5. #45
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    Stressed INFJ's act like trapped rats.

  6. #46
    Senior Member mwv6r's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rooo View Post
    My mother is an INFJ, and one that really doesn't handle stress well. It's a bit like walking on a minefield with her. What all of you describe she does, but at a much higher decibal level. Only thing I can do is stay out of her way. Sometimes she even throws childlike temper tantrums, stomping her feet and slamming doors. You cannot communicate with her. She's just like this wall of negativity. You say anything that causes her anxiety, she will come to the most overstreched conclusions and turn it into something really personal. In the car together I casually bring up the general topic of plastic surgery by saying "Everyone thinks their nose looks weird, even I have..." and wham! "You are obsessed! You need to get over that, it's solopsism!" as the car starts wobbling out of control. Oh how I hate when she uses her psychological terms. :steam: edit: to be fair, when she's had her guard down I have worried out loud about aging a couple times.
    That sounds like my ISFJ mother under stress, especially the bizarre conclusions. Are you sure your mom's INFJ?

    I have trouble picturing an INFJ saying that. Then again, I'm the only INFJ that I know in real life, and just cause I wouldn't say it doesn't mean that other INFJs wouldn't. It very well may be an issue of overactive Fe, as someone else on this thread mentioned, and that could affect INFJs and ISFJs alike.

    Where are some fellow INFJs hiding anyway? I'm really curious to meet another one.

  7. #47
    Member Ruby Tuesday's Avatar
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    Hola from a fellow INFJ! Rooo's Mom's behaviour doesn't sound very INFJish to me, either. Does sound a lot like my Mom, though!

    Don't question why she needs to be so free
    She'll tell you it's the only way to be
    She just can't be chained to a
    Life where nothing's gained
    and nothing's lost
    at such a cost

  8. #48
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    I become extremely cynical, but if I use Ti enough to swallow the stress and get over it, all of my emotion is expressed between a mix of Ni and Fe, which allows me to create some great art.
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
    enneagram - 7/5/3

  9. #49

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ruby Tuesday View Post
    I became so exhausted and bored with and disconnected from myself and my own brain that I couldn't even work out what had happened to me, let alone escape from it. .
    I soooo get this. Just yesterday, I was sitting and wondering who I was and how did I get so far away from who I am.

    The summer time is CRAZY busy for my department. We are excited when we don't have to work weekends, or only have to put in an hour of overtime daily instead of 2 or 3.

    I've been trying to figure out coping mechanisms for myself. I tend to go into this HYPER judging mode and all mistakes become a huge deal to me. I become very selfish and unfeeling. I have to be careful because I am a supervisor. Also, the main person I supervise is an INFP. I love her to death...but when I'm stressed and in HYPER J mode I get really irritated with her lack of organization (which is my problem, not hers) I'm constantly working on this.

    When I'm not under stress, mistakes are ok. and they can be fixed. I work to find harmony in everything and care a lot more about the people not the problem. Sleeping and taking breaks has helped me a lot.

    How do you guys cope when you get to this point? Do you try to not get to this point? What happens when it just slaps you in the back of the head out of the blue? *sigh* I'm trying to get better at this. I really don't like the person I become under extreme stress.

  10. #50
    Badoom~ Skyward's Avatar
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    [Repost, likely, but I don't mind enough to not post again]

    When I get stressed I become aloof and hide. External stress cant really be dealt with without having some other external thing boost me along or until I realize the thing I was stressing over wasn't as big as I thought it was. Internal stress, like depression, is unreliable to remove. Sometimes just being a goof with friends helps it. I mean a MAJOR goof. Something akin to an ENFP on cocaine and Red Bull. Though it's a short burst, kind of a push to get through it then it isn't so bad.

    not tasting food is very pertinent, not tasting anything really. can't hear music, can't see the trees, pretty much get no information whatsoever except that which fits perfectly into my present path as determined by the rut i am in. usually i'll become aware of something and kinda chuckle my way out of it, or at least release some steam until i am in a better place to get to the bottom of the situation.
    I get something similar to this. I listen to loud, dark music and it's oddly soothing. Stuff like Dimmu Borgir and Turmion Ktilt
    'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and its better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.' - Marilyn Monroe

    This is who I am, escapist, paradise-seeker.
    -Nightwish

    Anthropology Major out of Hamline University. St. Paul, Minnesota.

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