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[ENFP] ENFP & INTP

2XtremeENFP

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
446
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
3w4
I've been finding my INTP friend to be extremely draining and somewhat overanalyzing of EVERYTHING. I understand that analysis is what comes with INTPs. But, is it normal for this type to drain ENFPs? I'm very E and I never felt exhausted by a person before!

It seems every conversation ends with some debate about something that I find unimportant or that person challenging every thought I discuss.

I think what I find frustrating most is their lack of drive to ever WANT or TAKE ACTION against the things that they find fault in in society.

Anyone else feel this way? Is this typical of enfp and intp relationships?

Also--- I have many NT friends and love debating and conversing with them
but I dunno INTPs rub me wrong..
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
INTPs are...challenging, but very worthwhile to talk to. Yes, when they go on theorizing it can drain us immensly as their choice of words and general style, as well as the abstractness in which they relish is taxing on us. And we have the same effect on them btw. If we ramble on about the interpersonal relationships between two people in a group or god forbid about their feelings, or our own, they get 'F-ed' out very quickly.

You're best off taking turns and breaking it up with some light banter from time to time. Even while doing this, it will still be intense and sometimes exhausting, especially after a long day. On the other hand, the insights you both can gain from each other, are incredibly valuable, as are the lessons you can teach each other (he can teach you to look with a more critical eye at the world, which, believe me, we need, and we can teach them to lighten up and stop being so paranoid about *everything*)

Just get him to mix it up a bit, that will take away some of the friction between you two ;)
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Yes to the over-analysing thing getting old /draining with ENFPs. Few are more tenacious in debate than a rabid INTP.

But ENFPs are rarely (never) more motivated to take action than I. It's a procrastination party. Socionics says we "deactivate " each other.
Are you sure you're not a closet J?

^ENFPs are WAY more paranoid than we are. I can't tell you how many times I've had to talk one down from a major freak out. But if I'm freaking out, they just make it worse with all that empathy shit. They don't know how to reign in Ne at times.
 

2XtremeENFP

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
446
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
3w4
Ohh noo, I'm not a J. I do procrastinate with the rest of them, but if I am passionate about something, I get active and go head strong. It's once I lose the passion that I fall back into my excessive P.

I just see these ideas and thoughts in INTPs and then when you tell them to voice it to the world, they're like "it doesn't matter. Who cares". Well, if it doesn't matter, and who cares to know, why do you sit around reading, researching and analyzing if you want to do nothing about it?

It's like they have no drive sometimes and I just don't see why
(sorry for stereotypes)
 

2XtremeENFP

New member
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Jul 23, 2008
Messages
446
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
3w4
I think he views me as a motivator for him, rather than a deactivater
 

ajblaise

Minister of Propagandhi
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
7,914
MBTI Type
INTP
It's a lot harder to take action with the big-picture stuff we like to think about than it is with small-scale interpersonal stuff. Some INTPs will get into a position where their ideas can become reality, but for many, especially younger ones, all they can do is theorize.

I usually find a far-removed future possibility more interesting than small-scale things that are happening right in front of me. But I do like relating the things that happen close to me to a wider context.
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I just see these ideas and thoughts in INTPs and then when you tell them to voice it to the world, they're like "it doesn't matter. Who cares". Well, if it doesn't matter, and who cares to know, why do you sit around reading, researching and analyzing if you want to do nothing about it?

It's like they have no drive sometimes and I just don't see why
(sorry for stereotypes)

It's an introverted perspective. We don't need to make a splash. Knowing that we COULD do something is enough. And sometimes it's enough to make one lose interest. Actually doing it is often just too much energy expenditure. And we are often too cynical /full of self-doubt to believe we can really make a difference.
 

2XtremeENFP

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2008
Messages
446
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ENFP
Enneagram
3w4
yeah I agree with relating the smaller scale stuff. I see the bigger things happening around me, and if I want to change it. I tackle the things in my life. Be the change. Ya know? What's the point in standing up against something if you don't feel like getting off your feet
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Yes to the over-analysing thing getting old /draining with ENFPs. Few are more tenacious in debate than a rabid INTP.

But ENFPs are rarely (never) more motivated to take action than I. It's a procrastination party. Socionics says we "deactivate " each other.
Are you sure you're not a closet J?

^ENFPs are WAY more paranoid than we are. I can't tell you how many times I've had to talk one down from a major freak out. But if I'm freaking out, they just make it worse with all that empathy shit. They don't know how to reign in Ne at times.

totally agree with blue haha
ahhh!
 

sculpting

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
4,148
It's an introverted perspective. We don't need to make a splash. Knowing that we COULD do something is enough. And sometimes it's enough to make one lose interest. Actually doing it is often just too much energy expenditure. And we are often too cynical /full of self-doubt to believe we can really make a difference.

This can be the biggest block to getting productive results out of the intps I work with.

In general though I like them very much. We do live in different universes. They look at me, they smile, I say crazy things, they say things I dont understand, I smile again, and things seem to happen. It's like we communicate on a subconcious level, and results occur, even if I am not sure eaxctly how. They (being they dont know about MBTI) dont understand what a crazy enfp is, so they just sort of stare and ponder...

They will talk to me about feely stuff a bit more than they will to others, even if I don't ask or inquire. They will bring it up.

If you get them drunk they act a little more like entps then. woo-hoo Ne!!

However in retrospect I have meet upwards of 50 INTP guys, but just met my first INTP girl the other day.
 

Into It

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Aug 30, 2008
Messages
664
MBTI Type
ENFP
I've found INTPs to be extraordinarilly straight-forward.
 

mortabunt

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 10, 2009
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type
Enneagram
5
It's normal, my ENFP freind called me draining, but nice to talk to.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
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4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I can very much enjoy INTPs, but not when they get belligerent. I enjoy discussing things analytically as I don't get to do that enough with other people, but I don't enjoy it when it becomes an argument and not a calm discussion. You have to learn to say "I'm not going there with you. I don't want to argue. Let's change the topic." Unfortunately, I still found myself getting drawn into debate....
 

2XtremeENFP

New member
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Jul 23, 2008
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446
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
3w4
Orange, you are right on topic. My INTP friend is fun to talk to, mainly cause we have similar interests and I like intelligent Ne coversations. But, it's everytime I make a point, he challenges me, puts words in my mouth, and he comes off as a know-it-all. I want to continue to be friends because we find interesting things to discuss, but I've never get as frustrated with others as I do with him. I love debates but not every second
 
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