So you're pink; apparently, someone on this forum thinks I've either stemmed from your stem cells, or actually is you under the guise of another SN. Though we drink the same wine, we come from different grapes...or something mysterious to that effect.
What unduly treatment has been dished in your direction to the point of a forum rant?
Hey, you're a new ENFJ. Welcome to the forums. Love the name because it reminds me of my own! I think you hit up some interesting points in this post.
You're The Grand Chameleon and I'm proteanmix and we have PinkPiranha. I see similarities in all these names. Udog, kind of already hit upon it so I'm just going to continue. I think the choice of usernames many people choose expresses some duality of multifaceted-ness of their personality. You and I chose to emphasize mutability and pink choose to pair a soft (pink) and hard (piranha) dichotomy. Is there something extra to the ENFJ names? Who knows, I could be pulling this out of my ass. INFPs seem to like cats and it doesn't seem completely random or unrelated
ENFJs are called Teachers and Pedagogues and Life Coaches and all those other pretty euphemistic ways of saying that we have some sort of specialty or ability in modifying the behavior of others in some way. That ability does not at all mean that it will get expressed in a positive, beneficial, or benevolent way. Nor does it say or even make the claim to say how exactly this behavior modification occurs. Fe tries or attempts to modify behavior, it's just a natural byproduct of an extroverted judging function. It tries to order the external world. Realistically, how does that come about most of the time? Break down what it takes to
move what could be to what is. You have to move through resistance, doubt, pessimism, stonewalling, resentment. In some ways, I think it's easier to dwell in what could be because there is no heavy lifting involved in just imagining and dreaming of perfection, there is no
doing. The problems arise when you start to make dreams a reality. It kind of reminds me of plate tectonics...the friction that occurs between two equally strong forces rubbing against each other and the activity that results from that.
ENFJs allegedly see the potential in others. Maybe so, maybe no. What if the person doesn't see the potential in themselves and aren't receptive? What if the ENFJ is mistaken in what they perceive? What if the potential is there, but the person is content as they are? What if the ENFJ just can't let it be and accept? What are the push/pull factors that necessitate change? "I believe in you, do you believe in you!" and other such platitudes. I don't know, we hear so often you can't change another person, and yet we have this theoretical personality type that majors and specializes in changing other people. Smells like a setup to me. You have a person who feels like they're not fulfilling their own purpose and are constantly squelching themselves until they find the methods and means to express without incinerating the other person. Personally, since I know I'm not very good at just accepting and letting it be I've dealt with myself by remaining uninvolved. Just don't get in it to begin with, which isn't really satisfying but it saves a lot of trouble.
When people ingest those type descriptions and fail to see the fullness (positive and negative) of the person behind the description then we have threads like these written by Pink about not living up to a what? A 500 word essay on what you're supposed to be which is essentially perfect? Fuck that. Why even compare yourself, a real 3-D vital human being to some words on a paper? These words on the paper know nothing about you, your sorrows, your ambitions, your experiences.
Whatever the problem may be, I have the solution: as an ENFJ, you are probably the holder of many a secret, many a trust. And as a result, many a favor. Use these to your advantage. Take revenge against those that seek to destroy what you hold dear.
Of course, I'm kidding (only if you are). I think you'll find the solution to your predicament in your own time, on your own terms. To let the world know there exists a problem is our first step to coping. But that's all the world will ever know, right?
Now about that shock collar. Wikipedia tells me shock collars:
...used to describe a family of electronic training collars which are used to induce an electrical charge at varying degrees of intensity and duration...Successful operation and usage of electronic collars require the guidance of a professional who specializes in these types of devices. As with any dog training tool, improper usage, abuse of technology, and negligence can create undesirable results.
Anytime you get into deep behavioral psychology, you've got to make sure your hands are totally clean. You've really got to make sure your motives stem from a pure place because it can turn insidious very quickly. I think a lot of ENFJs recognize they may have some ability in this area and they either get really scared of it or start power tripping. I don't know very many ENFJs personally so I'm just guessing. I also think that when people realize you have this person who can move people or an individual along a certain path, not just talk about it but be about it as well, the misgivings towards such a person are not totally misplaced. The person that can do this needs to have a very strong sense of right and wrong, fairness, and equality and get checked fairly frequently if there is a concern they can't self-regulate, basically harness and focus the ability in a positive way.
But that doesn't mean this person should be squelched, constantly be called manipulative, or have people run away from them because it is very hurtful and damaging to self-esteem when you have a natural heart towards people. I think that with such a person, they really need to have a good mentor over them to help train them in such a way that they don't misuse and abuse a natural talent.
I was really mortified. Even the people who love me and have known me most of my life say that I'm like a grinning T- Rex, and they say it with a laugh. It's an apt description, I get it. But I'm also really embarrassed by it sometimes because I'm unaware of it. Apparently I could read aloud the panel on a cereal box and sound intense. You're all correct - all types have their downfall. I guess I just see mine as something I should control, but can't, or as something I shouldn't have to control because I'm not irrational, crazy or arbitrary. 
